


Barista Confessions

by TheFirstMrsHummel



Category: Glee
Genre: Lima Bean, M/M, Not Klaine/Blaine Friendly, Post-Graduation, kurtbastian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-10-12
Packaged: 2017-11-08 09:32:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 70,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFirstMrsHummel/pseuds/TheFirstMrsHummel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unsure of his future following graduation, Kurt finds the status quo impossible to maintain. And when Sebastian Smythe comes crashing back into his life, it gets even more complicated. PLEASE NOTE NOT KLAINE/BLAINE FRIENDLY</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Barista Confessions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5847895) by [ShallICompareThee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShallICompareThee/pseuds/ShallICompareThee), [supercanaries](https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercanaries/pseuds/supercanaries)



> Greetings! I'm back to writing again, and into the swing with my first non-Kurtofsky pairing. I'm taking a stab at Kurtbastian, because hey, I love Kurt and I love Sebastian, and I think the two of them could be pretty hot together. If you've followed me over here from the Pirate side of the fandom, thank you and welcome aboard. I hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> For those of you who may not have read my stories before, or don't know me from tumblr, I don't ship Klaine or support that relationship in any way. There won't be "Blaine-bashing" in this story per se, but I will be touching on some of the myriad of reasons I think Kurt and Blaine are downright terrible for each other, and many of them cast Blaine in a rather unflattering light (though Kurt's certainly not blameless). So if that's not your cup of tea, please move along, no offense taken. If you think Klaine is a healthy relationship, you will most likely not enjoy this story, so really, don't waste your time.

It was just after eleven-thirty pm when Kurt finally made his way up the dark pathway to his even darker house. His dad and Carole were away in Washington for the week, and Finn was either already asleep (unlikely), or out on yet another bonding activity with his "bros" (much more likely). His folks would have at least left the porch light on, but Finn was less attentive to those sorts of details. After missing the lock twice and dropping his keys once, Kurt was finally able to open and the door and get inside.

He lingered in the hallway, thinking about going into the kitchen to get something to eat. Dinner at work - a turkey sandwich and grande mocha – had been hours ago. Carole was always so good about cooking in advance and freezing the meals ahead of time when she knew she was going to be out of town, lest her boys waste away or something in her absence. But while he knew there was bound to be some lasagna in the fridge, or maybe some meatloaf and scalloped potatoes, Kurt decided to pass. His weariness at this point far outweighed any emptiness in his stomach. Instead he turned from the direction of the kitchen, and climbed the stairs to his bedroom.

Kurt flipped the lights on, and began to immediately shed his clothes. First the white polo shirt, with its embroidered gold and olive green logo; then the standard issue, straight-legged khaki pants. He'd left his Lima Bean apron in the passenger seat of his car, since he'd just need it again the next day anyway. He considered changing into pajamas, but even that seemed like too much effort. His feet hurt, his back hurt, and the vague sadness that he was able to push aside while working was slowly creeping back in. Kurt grabbed his phone out of his work pants pocket so he could set an alarm, and wearing just his briefs, crawled into the cool, clean sheets of his bed.

As soon as he unlocked the phone, he saw that he had several missed texts. Kurt groaned. Cody, his stoner co-worker, had failed to show up for his shift again, and Kurt had agreed to work yet another double. Being a Friday night, when live acoustic music was offered, the Lima Bean had been packed since five pm. It had barely even occurred to Kurt to try to check his phone, and even when it had, there just wasn't any time. He'd even foregone his ten minute break, though his boss promised to make it up to him the next day. The first text was from Finn.

_5:34pm Going to Puck's 4 a COD marathon. Will probably sleep over._

Kurt sighed. _Like you're not going to get enough time in playing soldier when you ship out for basic training?_ _I hope you know here's no respawn in real life, brother dear,_ he thought darkly. Pushing the gloomy thought as far away as he could, he checked out the other texts. As he'd thought, they were all from Blaine, and the progression was easily predictable.

_6:13pm Can I take my favorite barista out to dinner? I hear we could have your place to ourselves after. ;)_

_7:00pm Are you home? Or still at work? Call me, we can make it a late dinner if you want._

_8:16pm I guess you're still at work? Let me know when you're getting home, I can always meet you there._

_9:32pm Can you at least text me when you're back? It would be nice to know my boyfriend is still alive._

Kurt heaved another sigh. Blaine's irritation in the last text was obvious, and that was over an hour and a half ago. As much as he wanted to bury his head in his soft pillow, pull the covers over his head and fall into an exhausted slumber, he knew he'd have to call Blaine. It was either that, or face an epically sulky guilt trip the next time they spoke. Hopefully, it wouldn't take too long to smooth things over, and he could get some sleep. He thumbed the call button, trying desperately not to nod off as he listened to the rings. Just when he was sure Blaine had set his phone to silent and gone to bed, he heard his boyfriend's voice.

"Kurt?" Blaine said, with a slightly chilly tone.

"Blaine," replied Kurt, forcing himself to sit up straight against the headboard, and running a hand through his hair. "Hey. Sorry I didn't call you sooner, I just got home and saw your texts for the first time."

"I thought you were getting out at three," Blaine said.

"I had to work a double shift," explained Kurt. "Cody blew his off again, and it was a madhouse. I didn't even have a moment to look at my phone. I'm so sorry."

"That's the third time since you got the job you've had to work a double," said Blaine. "Not to mention all the other overtime. Are you the only one there capable of taking on extra hours?

"Of course not, but-"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to avoid me," said Blaine. There was no playfulness to his words, just an accusation Kurt couldn't help but miss.

 _Yes Blaine, it's all about you_ , Kurt griped mentally, but held his tongue. "I wouldn't do that," said Kurt, his grip on the phone tightening. "Look, can we please not do this now? I've been on my feet for over sixteen hours. I'm tired, sore, and can barely think straight. Just let me get some sleep, and we'll talk in the morning, okay?"

"Fine. Let's get together for breakfast," said Blaine.

"I can't," said Kurt. "I have to open in the morning."

"Of course you do," said Blaine flatly.

"Please don't be like that," said Kurt. His eyes started to sting a little, the easy tears of exhaustion finally at hand. "I get out at three, and this time no overtime or double shifts. I promise. Maybe we can catch a matinee at the movies? We still haven't seen The Avengers."

"Actually," said Blaine, "I saw it with Tina, Mike, Mercedes and Sam two weeks ago. The night we were supposed to all go out, but you had to cancel?"

"A different movie, then?" asked Kurt quietly, almost in a whisper.

There was a long pause, and when Blaine responded this time, it was less cold and more gentle. "Yeah, we can see something else," he said.

Kurt smiled a little, cheering slightly. "I'd like that," he said. "You pick. Anything you want to see. And I'll treat; I made a lot of tips tonight."

"I'm sorry to be so hard on you, Kurt," said Blaine. "It's just...I feel like we hardly spend any time together anymore. You're at the Lima Bean more than you're home, or with me. I mean, it was one thing when you were going to NYADA, I knew you'd be so busy over the summer getting ready to leave for New York. But now that you're staying here in Ohio, I thought we'd be together a lot more."

Kurt's improving mood evaporated immediately, both at the highly perceptible whine in Blaine's voice, and the unexpected mention of his dashed dreams. It was replaced with a crashing wave of sadness, a somewhat common feeling these days. One that he tried very hard to convince himself couldn't technically be called depression. He had to get off the phone before he broke down completely. "I have to go," he choked out. "I'm sorry, honey, but I'm falling asleep with my eyes open. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" Kurt disconnected without waiting for a reply.

He stared at his phone for a long minute. Then, in a burst of hot anger that seemed to come from nowhere, he threw the iPhone across the room. It hit the bottom of his built-in shelves with a loud bang, and the spiteful rage fled as suddenly as it had come. "Shit!" Kurt cried, scrubbing his hands over his face and willing himself not to dissolve into tears. He took a deep breath, and tried to stay calm. It was okay, it was all going to be okay. He was just tired, and blowing things out of proportion. Everything would look better in the morning. Kurt dragged himself out of bed and over to where his phone lay, wanting to make sure he hadn't cracked the screen. But when he bent down to pick it up, he caught a flash of blue from the corner of his eye. Looking over, he saw that it was a small post-it note, and stilled.

That tiny piece of paper was once adhered to something that Kurt had been planning on bringing along to New York with him. He remembered the excitement of making his way around his room, blithely color coding what would stay, what would be purged, and what he couldn't bear to leave behind. But even more, he remembered what it had felt like coming home from school after opening the "acceptance" letters with Rachel and Finn, and numbly peeling every single post-it back off again. He'd tossed them all in the garbage, but this one must have fallen from the messy stack. Detachedly, he wondered what it had been stuck on. His beloved copy of In Vogue: The Illustrated History of the World's Most Famous Fashion Magazine? Or perhaps the small china cat figurine that had belonged to his mother? There were so many things that he'd wanted to bring, his dorm room would have been filled to the brim. But he'd anticipated that he'd be homesick, missing his family, his friends and of course, Blaine; so it seemed like having a lot of familiar items around him would ease the transition.

As it turned out, there would be no move to the Big Apple. Not for Kurt Hummel, at least. He reached over and picked up the scrap of blue, watching as it blurred when the tears finally came. All of his things would stay here, in Lima, just as he would. Gathering dust, month after month, year after year, because Kurt was a failure. Not only was he not good enough, not special or talented enough to get into NYADA, he hadn't realized until after he'd been rejected by the school how monumentally stupid it was for him not to have had a backup plan. His dad had wanted him to apply to other colleges, just in case, but Kurt had balked. He'd been convinced that applying to other schools meant he didn't really believe he'd get into his first choice. When he'd broached the subject with Rachel at application time, she'd boldly pronounced that if one wasn't willing to gamble everything, one didn't deserve to be succeed. You had to be brave, she'd told him, fearless to flourish in a career where the word "no" was around every corner. "If you don't believe in yourself, Kurt," she said, color riding high on her cheeks and a manic light in her brown eyes, "how can you expect anyone else to?"

At the time, riding the Rachel Berry Crazy Town Express had seemed like a good idea. Especially when Blaine had concurred. But while Rachel continued to ride the rails towards the bright lights of the big city, Kurt had unfortunately fallen off and been crushed beneath the steel wheels. Kurt dearly wanted to blame Rachel, or Blaine, or Carmen Tibideaux, but he knew the fault ultimately lay with him. For not having what it took to make his dream come true, and for limiting himself to a single dream in the first place. He'd been foolish and shortsighted, and now he was paying the price. Instead of fresh new textbooks and a dorm room just waiting to be made fabulous, he had an increasingly irritable boyfriend and a Lima Bean apron. He clapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the sobs that began to escape, until he remembered that he had the house to himself. Then he dropped his hand and gave himself over to a fit of loud and ugly crying, rocking back and forth on his heels helplessly.

Kurt wept because he'd lost New York. Because his father was staying in Washington more and more frequently as the November elections loomed closer. Because Finn was going into the Army, and Kurt was scared to death he'd be injured or even killed within days of his first deployment. And he cried because Blaine was right. Kurt _was_ avoiding him, avoiding everyone lately. All his friends were either blissfully moving on to other things and places, or contentedly staying put on familiar ground. He felt alienated, trapped, and desperately unhappy. Work was his only escape, where the bustle of the busy coffee house was like white noise, dulling the screaming disappointment in his soul to a bearable hum. But alone in his house, so silent one could hear a pin drop? There, there was nothing but the cacophony of internal voices, shouting how utterly he'd failed, and how much he deserved to be stranded in this self-created limbo.

 

If you'd asked him, Kurt would have said he'd doubt that anyone in Lima was having a worse night then him. But on that same Friday evening a few miles away, Sebastian Smythe was giving him a serious run for his money to become winner of the "Shittiest Night Ever" title.

He sat on the leather couch in the formal living room, the usual location for a hearty chewing out by one of both of his parents. His mother had opted out this time around, saying she was so hurt and mad, she was afraid she might say something unforgivable during the dressing down. Which left Sebastian with his father, who he guessed was equally angry, but as an attorney was a little more adept than his wife of keeping his emotions in check. So far the older man had said nothing as he paced restlessly, clenching his hands into fists and occasionally glaring at his only son.

Stephen Smythe (alliterative names were a longstanding tradition for male children born into the Smythe clan) was a roiling mass of emotions; the anger that Sebastian had presumed, but also worry, and a sort of baffled shock at the situation he'd found his son in that night. For sure Sebastian had always been a handful, strong-willed and mischievous even as a small child. But despite all of his misadventures - including some rather startling reports from his Paris-dwelling in-laws, whom Sebastian had lived with the summer between his Sophomore and Junior years - Stephen had always believed he was a good kid at heart. His boy was a bit of a wild child, always pushing limits, chasing excitement and consumed with a desperate need to always have the last word, it seemed. But not a _bad_ kid. Looking at Sebastian's ripped shirt, dirty pants, and the ice pack he held to his bruised jaw, however, Stephen wondered if maybe he and Julia had been in denial. Shaking his head, he finally spoke.

"Jesus, Sebastian," he said heatedly. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

To his credit, Sebastian appeared to be both wary and apologetic. "I know it looks bad, Dad," he said. "But I can explain-"

"The hell you can!" Stephen boomed loudly, interrupting. "I'm sitting home, looking over some files from work since I promised your mother I'd be home for dinner, and I get a call from the police department! Telling me my minor child is in custody!"

"I'm sorry," said Sebastian pleadingly. "Really sorry. Things got a little out of hand, I know." Actually, they hadn't gotten much more out of hand than a lot of his Friday nights, but it was way worse than he'd ever wanted his parents to be aware of.

Stephen stared at Sebastian in disbelief. "Out of hand?" he repeated. "Sebastian, you were in a bar, and you're underage. You had a fake ID in your possession. You were involved in a brawl at said bar, as evidenced by the state of your face. You were obviously drinking, since your blood alcohol count when they breathalyzed you clocked in at about point one-zero percent. And finally, and most damming, young man? They found a zip lock bag of marijuana on you. Does that about sum up how _out of hand_ things got?"

Sebastian squirmed under his dad's pitiless stare. He hated it when his father treated him like a witness on a cross-examine, although he did have to admit he'd certainly earned the role tonight. "Yes sir," he said docilely, trying not to piss his dad off any more by trying to defend himself.

"You are very lucky, Sebastian," Stephen said. "All of the violations – even the pot, because it was barely a quarter ounce – have fine based penalties, as opposed to jail time. Particularly for first time offenders, and particularly when the offender's father is a State's Attorney. You're looking at about eight hundred dollars in fines."

Sebastian wasn't surprised. He'd been raised listening to his father talk about Ohio's laws for years, and he knew exactly how far he could go. He trained his features not to look smug, as his dad would likely not appreciate seeing it. "I see," he said, noncommittally.

"Since you burn through your allowance as fast as we give it to you, I know you don't have anything saved to pay these fines," said Stephen. "So your mother and I will pay them for you, as it would be somewhat embarrassing for me to have a son in thirty-day confinement."

 _Well, duh_ , thought Sebastian, but put on his best grateful, placating puppy dog eyes. "Thank you, Dad," he said, green eyes shining guilessly, lashes fluttering. "I'll make it up to you two somehow." He expected his father to respond with _I know you will son_ ; maybe ruffle his hair and tell him to get some sleep, since it had been a long night for all of them. That was usually par for the course during the rare occasion when Sebastian was caught out on his bad behavior. But he was dead wrong this time around.

"You bet your ass you will," said Stephen coldly. "You are going to pay us every goddamn cent back, Sebastian."

"Oh," said Sebastian, at a loss for words momentarily. The thought _you've finally gone too far_ flitted through his brain, but he shook it off. He knew his parents, lived with and talked to and honestly loved them every day. It would be fine, they just needed to cool off and then everything would go back to normal.

"And let me tell you something, you better figure out fairly quickly how you're going to do that. Because your allowance is cut off, effective immediately."

"What?" squawked Sebastian, letting the ice pack drop to the sofa, eyes growing round with shock.

"Not another dime, Sebastian," his dad intoned. "Not another _penny_ , until we're paid back. And I'm charging you twenty percent interest, on top of the principle." He allowed himself a little smirk at the aghast look on his son's face. "Cheer up, it's a better rate than you'd get from most of the bail bondsmen in the area," he said.

"How am I supposed to pay you back without my allowance?" asked Sebastian, legitimately puzzled as to how such a thing could be possible. He had no savings of his own, as his father had just pointed out. It wasn't like money fell out of the sky or grew on trees, phrases that he only just now realized were quite apt.

Stephen raised an eyebrow. He knew that he and Julia had sheltered their son, but he hadn't realized how overtly they'd done so. Despite both coming from old money, they had each been raised with an appreciation for the genesis of their wealth, and the urge to earn their way in the world. Somehow, in that respect, they'd failed Sebastian. "You'll have to get a job, I guess," he said.

Sebastian's own eyebrows shot up, along with his ass off the couch. "A job?" he said, holding his arms out in supplication towards his father. "A job doing what?" Other than singing and dancing, which didn't seem to pay much these days, Sebastian's only real skills were sexual in nature. And he doubted his dad expected him to become a prostitute. He stared at Stephen, completely clueless and gaping in astonishment.

"Anything you're capable of," responded Stephen, snorting. "You've got a brain, and full use of your limbs last time I checked. Hopefully there's enough gas in your car to get you back and forth to interviews until you land something."

Sebastian's confusion gave way to ire. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. His parents were supposed to give him a minor, lame punishment. They were supposed to forgive him almost immediately. It was how it always went down when he got in trouble, and he didn't know how to deal with the fact that this time was apparently quite different for some reason. "How can you do this to me?" he spat.

"Do what?"asked Stephen. "Ask you to function like ninety-nine percent of the U.S. population?" At Sebastian's wounded look, he shook his head. "You're spoiled, Sebastian," he informed his son. "Spoiled, disrespectful, and ungrateful for everything that you have. Your mother and I, we never meant for that to happen. We made a huge mistake, and it's time to fix that. We love you, and that will never change. But you forever taking and never giving anything back? Not contributing to society, or even to our family? That ends tonight." He gave his son a frosty smile. "Welcome to the real world, Sebastian. The free ride is officially over."


	2. Chapter 2

Early Tuesday morning saw Kurt in the doorway of the Lima Bean, bathed in the thin light of the just rising sun. It was already becoming warm and humid, the weather forecasters calling for temperatures in the low nineties. It was unlikely he'd be making many hot coffees or teas today, but for sure both blenders would be running non-stop, providing Lima's caffeine addicts with a variety of frothy, icy beverages. He keyed in the code to the alarm, entering quickly as soon as he saw the green light, and heard the short beep.

"Morning, Kurt," came the cheery voice of his boss. Kurt had often thought of himself as a morning person, since it never bothered him to wake hours before school to conduct his skincare regimen, or select and discard several outfits before finding the perfect one. But it had taken him a while to get used to the level of enthusiasm that Greg Storr greeted each day with.

Part of it was the multiple espressos he consumed both at home, and once arrived at his coffee house. But most of it was that the man was the rarest of beasts, at least in Kurt's experience - a happy, positive, fulfilled human being, who was living out the dream he'd set for himself years ago, and enjoying every moment of it. Over the past month and a half, Kurt had learned a lot about Greg, whom he'd only had a nodding acquaintance with as a Lima Bean customer. As a teenager at McKinley, Greg had longed for a hip but casual place to hang out in Lima. When he would visit his grandparents in Minneapolis, he was stunned by the number of coffee houses; places where for the price of a latte and cinnamon bun, you could boot up your laptop or read a book, and while away the afternoon. But even the ubiquitous Starbucks seemed to have no interest in Lima (and to this day, only one existed: a kiosk in the hospital's lobby). Greg knew that the only way to have such a place in his hometown was to create it himself, so armed with no more than a two-year business degree from the local community college, a small loan from his parents, a larger loan from the bank, and the fearlessness of youth, Greg opened the Lima Bean in late 2001. Eleven years later, the business had grown and flourished beyond his wildest imaginings, offering not only wi-fi, coffee and pastries; but fresh fruit smoothies, a small lunch menu, live music, poetry readings, trivia nights, and even the occasional author signing. Greg's dream hadn't been as ambitious as Kurt's, but it had been just as desperately wanted, and Kurt was sincerely proud to be part of it.

"Good morning, Greg," Kurt replied, smiling. "It's going to be a hot one today. I'll be glad to be in air conditioning, for sure." He moved behind the counter and grabbed one of the bags of whole coffee beans lined up on its surface. He poured the beans into the large stainless steel grinder, twisted the dial to the espresso setting, and hit the button to start the machine. When he turned back around, he saw that Greg was holding out a cup with his usual morning coffee order, a triple-shot medium Americano, black with two Splendas. "Thanks," he said gratefully, sipping the hot liquid. Free drinks before a shift and during breaks was a great perk, and as much as Kurt needed the caffeine these days, he really appreciated it.

"Before we open," said Greg, "I wanted to get you in the loop on something. Well, a couple of somethings. You want the good news or the bad news first?"

Kurt felt the skin at the back of his neck prickle, and the blood drain from his face. The last thing he needed in his life was any more bad news. Had he done something wrong? Was Greg going to let him go? He opened up his mouth to reply, but nothing came out.

"Hey, it's okay," said Greg. "You're not in trouble or anything. I'm sorry if I made it sound like that." He reached out and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder, squeezing it a little.

Kurt hadn't really talked to Greg much about his turmoil, but his boss knew the basics about his failed bid for NYADA. And he bet Greg didn't get as successful as he was by being stupid. He had to figure that anyone who agreed to work as many hours as Kurt did was either desperate for money, or trying to avoid going home. Kurt tried to repair his puffy eyes in the mornings with cold compresses after sleepless nights and crying jags, but it was likely Greg suspected all was not puppies and rainbows on the Kurt Hummel front. "Right," said Kurt, forcing a smile. "Sorry, sometimes I overreact a little. Drama queen, and all that." He took another sip from his cup.

Greg took an extra moment longer than necessary, squinting a little, as if he was trying to suss out how tightly bolted together his star employee really was. But then he let go of Kurt's shoulder, his usual pleasant expression coming back as he picked up his own cup and drank from it. "Okay, here's the deal," he said, upon swallowing. "I fired Cody Sunday night."

For a moment, Kurt didn't know what to say. "Is that the good news?" he asked, finally.

Greg laughed softly. "Well, no, that was the bad, but I can see why you might have a different opinion. I know you picked up a ton of his slack, Kurt. I just hate to let anyone go, and I really hate to see a kid messed up like that. But I caught him stealing from the drawer at closing, so I had no other choice."

Kurt wasn't surprised; he watched Cody carefully when they closed together, and Kurt hadn't missed how his eyes would linger longingly on the bills, as Kurt counted out hundreds of dollars from the till. "So what _is_ the good news, then?" asked Kurt.

"I've actually already replaced him," said Greg. "It's almost like it was meant to be. First thing yesterday morning, one of the regulars comes in. But this time, instead of looking for a latte, he asks for an application. He's spent so much time here, he probably has the entire drink menu memorized already. Plus he's clean cut, and seems very polite and responsible. I think he'll do well. Besides," he said, nudging Kurt with his elbow, "last time I hired a loyal customer, it turned out pretty great for me."

Grinning, Kurt was just about to ask which regular it was, when Greg caught sight of the clock on the wall. "Crap," he said. "That took longer than I thought. We've only got ten minutes until opening, and the first pot of regular's not even brewed yet. Let's get the opening out of the way, then I can fill you in on the rest. Libby's coming in at seven. And even if we don't have time, he's coming in at two after the lunch rush, to fill out paperwork and do a half shift just shadowing. You can meet him then. I know you'll recognize his face, but I'm not sure if you guys really know each other."

The early morning passed in the usual rush of customers grabbing coffee on their way into work, and as it progressed, the tables started to fill with teenagers and college students enjoying their summer break, along with a smattering of business types on laptops or tablets, and a few moms with small children. Kurt mixed drinks for the first part of the morning, then switched off with Greg to run the register. Libby filled in where needed, and began to prep for lunch. Kurt greeted the customers he knew by name, inked names and order abbreviations on paper cups, and called out orders to Greg as they came in. He bid his current customer a good day, handing them their change, and then turned to the next person in line automatically. "Good morning, what can we make for you to-" He broke off, recognizing the person in front of him.

"Hi Kurt, said Rachel brightly. She was smiling, wearing a bright yellow dress with white heeled Mary Jane shoes, and carrying a small kelley green purse. A white knitted beret, entirely wrong for the season, topped her shiny brown hair.

"Hey, Rachel," he responded genially. "What can I get for you?"

Rachel's smile faded. "That's it?" she said, in a small voice. "What do I want to drink? We haven't seen each other in a couple of weeks, Kurt, and that's all you have to say to me?"

Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Rachel, in case you haven't noticed, I'm working," he said. "I can't hold up the line, I'll get in trouble." When she just stood there, looking hurt, Kurt sighed. "Look, I can take my ten minute break as soon as the line is clear. Order something and grab a table, and I'll be over as soon as I can."

"Fine," said Rachel, her smile a little tight this time. "I'll have a tall green tea, please. No sweetener." She opened up her little purse, pulling out a five dollar bill with a flourish.

Kurt cashed her out, smiling as encouragingly as he could manage. It wound up taking him another fifteen minutes to get through the line, but once he had, there was finally a lull. He quickly made himself a hazelnut latte, wrote himself out on the time sheet, then found Rachel sitting at a table towards the back. She was a little slumped over, but as soon as she saw Kurt, she straightened and threw her shoulders back, smiling with what he recognized as false confidence. "I was beginning to think you were standing me up," she said, obviously trying for a joke. It fell flat though, and Kurt took the chair across from her, smiling uncomfortably.

It was inevitable that he would run into his friends and former classmates in the Bean, and he hoped that at some point it would get easier. He burned with embarrassment during these encounters; he had bragged so loudly over the years that he was getting out of Lima, that he was meant for great things, and that everyone who ever picked on or doubted him would be begging for his autograph. What must they think of him, knowing now that he was just another Lima loser stuck behind a cash register? He didn't know for sure that anyone was judging him, but it felt that way. And the cool distance that he felt around them, he hated being forced to deal with it, and plaster on a smile because it was his job to be nice to paying customers. "So," he started, "How have you been?"

Diverted to her favorite subject – namely, herself – Rachel's smile became less stiff. She rambled, as expected, about her preparations for New York and NYADA, how nervous she was, even though she knew she'd eventually succeed. Every once in a while, Kurt would surreptitiously peek at the clock, seeing how many more minutes were left on his break. Unfortunately, at one point, Rachel caught him looking, and began to pout. "I'm sorry Kurt, am I boring you?" she asked. "You did ask, after all." She looked honestly confused, and even with his current emotional state, he felt bad for hurting her feelings. They had been so close, he and Rachel, and it was as if she truly did not grasp that her getting into NYADA, while he hadn't, had changed things between them. He knew full well that it was difficult for Rachel to empathize objectively. She genuinely felt sorry for her friends when they were going through hard times, but it was never without the accompanying concern of how it was all going to affect her. He knew about this flaw, but he'd befriended her, and they'd become each other's closest confidants anyway. Maybe it wasn't fair of him to pull away from her so much, when she was just doing what she always did.

"I just have to make sure I don't go over ten minutes, that's all," he said. "I have to clock in and out on time, it has nothing to do with the company. I promise." A hint of his first genuine smile since Rachel had walked in touched his lips.

"Oh yes, of course," Rachel said, warming again. "You know, you and Mercedes and I, we need to do another slumber party. We haven't had one in months!"

"That could be an issue with my schedule," Kurt said, quite honestly. "I usually either close or open, sometimes one right after the other, even."

"You're working too hard, Kurt," Rachel chided him. "You need to treat yourself, and take a couple of days off every once in a while. You look so tired."

"It's nothing, I just don't always sleep that well these days," he said.

"Because you're working yourself to death," she intoned dramatically. "You're not even making time for Blaine, and he's your boyfriend!"

"Did he tell you that?" asked Kurt, starting to frown.

"He didn't have to, Kurt. He misses you, I can see it. We all miss you." Rachel reached out and took his hand. "You should spend more time with him, but you need to save a night for Mercedes and I too."

"I will," said Kurt. Maybe he _was_ working a little too much. With all the overtime, he could afford to take a couple of days unpaid. And if the new guy worked out, Greg wouldn't even be that short staffed. Maybe isolating himself from his friends was actually doing him more harm than good.

"Excellent!" said Rachel, squeezing his hand. "And don't take too long. Before you know it, we simply won't be around for such childlike frivolity. Well, I mean, _you_ will, of course, but we girls will…"

Kurt didn't know what his expression had changed into, but it must have given at least a glimpse of the painful stab Rachel's careless words caused, because she trailed off immediately. That was yet another flaw of Rachel's, one he'd let slip his mind. Her unerring talent for saying the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and not realizing it until moments after it was too late. He tried to tug his hand away. "I have to go, my break is over," he said numbly. The hurt was spreading, and he could feel his chin start to tremble slightly.

"Oh God, Kurt," Rachel said, remorse flooding her face and tears pooling in her eyes. "I'm..I'm…I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it that way." She clung to his hand so hard, it was starting to hurt. "You know I didn't mean it like that, it just came out wrong. Please don't be mad at me, I'm sorry."

Kurt pulled his hand away. "I have to go," he repeated. "I have to wash my hands before I go back to work." His breath hitched, as he stood and started to walk towards the bathroom.

"Kurt!" said Rachel tearfully.

Kurt turned to look at her, even though he knew this was becoming what some would term a "scene". For once, he let the mask drop, and let the girl who was supposed to be his best friend forever see the loss and sadness in his eyes, see what he saw nearly every time he looked at himself in the mirror. She sucked in her breath, a tear falling down her cheek.

"Goodbye, Rachel," he said quietly, then turned and made his way to the bathroom as quickly as his long legs would carry him.

Once there, he raced into the first empty stall, locking the door and sitting down on the toilet seat. Burying his face in his hands, he battled to stifle the sobs that wanted to escape from his throat. _Keep it together, you're at work_. _You can't fall apart here, you have another half-shift to work. Don't cry, Kurt. Don't you_ _ **dare**_ _cry in the only place you have left that hasn't seen your tears_. He didn't know how long he sat there gasping, but after what seemed like a few minutes, he was able to calm down enough to steady his breath. He left the stall to splash cold water on his face, and wash his hands with soap, then dried both with a rough paper towel from the dispenser. He pressed the damp paper to the back of his neck briefly, then straightened and tossed it into the wastepaper basket. He gave himself a once-over in the mirror; his nose and cheeks were sill flushed, but his eyes were dry, and he thought he could at make a try for normalcy. He just hoped Rachel had left, because if she was waiting out there to apologize some more, he didn't know what he would do.

Luckily, she was nowhere in sight, and the customers were back to talking and working on their laptops. Kurt checked the clock and cursed under his breath. It had been over twenty-five minutes since he'd signed himself out. He walked back behind the counter, where Greg was handing Libby a croissant to heat up in the toaster oven. "I'm so sorry," said Kurt, scribbling the time down on the sheet of paper. "I'll make up the time at the end of my shift. I just lost track of the clock."

Greg turned to him, his eyes kind and worried. "No, you won't," he said, taking the pencil from Kurt. He erased the time that Kurt had written down, and re-wrote in one fifteen minutes earlier, putting his initials next to it. "You're fine, Kurt. With all the hours you put in, don't even worry about it. You're going to leave as scheduled today, go home, and take a damn nap. That's a direct order from the guy who signs your paychecks."

Kurt's mouth worked. "Thank you," he said, unable to make anything else leave his tight throat.

"You're welcome," Greg said. "I want you on drinks again, and I'll take the register. The lunch crowd will be hitting us like a ton of bricks in the next half hour. Let's make some magic happen."

He wasn't wrong, and before Kurt knew it, a long line had formed once again. Today's lunch special was a curried chicken salad sandwich on cranberry-sunflower seed bread, and they were flying. The line finally started to die down around one-thirty, and by one forty-five, the line was gone and only a few tables remained occupied. He turned to Libby. "Any of the special left?" he asked. "I think I'm finally going to take my lunch." Accepting a plate from her, and then grabbing a bottled water, he went to a table in the very back and sat facing away from the counter. He started to devour his sandwich, taking out his phone to check his texts and see if he had any voice mails. His appetite diminished slightly when he saw that he had three missed texts and a voice mail message from Rachel's number. Kurt squashed the hurt down again before it could burst through, and deleted everything immediately. He scrolled through his Facebook wall, then sent Finn a quick text to let him know he'd be coming home on time, and wanted to lay down for a while, so to please end any rambunctious gaming sessions or drum practices by four pm. Licking a glob of mayonnaise from his pinky, he noted that it was just about time to sign back in, so he got up and headed back towards the counter.

It looked like the new employee had shown up on time, as Greg was sitting in the front at a table, talking animatedly to a tall male figure seated across from him. There were papers spread out between them, and a Lima Bean uniform and apron folded on the table. The man had his back to Kurt, so all he was able to note was light brown hair, cropped close at the bottom but long and styled perfectly on top, very much like his own thick locks. Things were still fairly slow, and Libby seemed to have the cleanup from lunch under control, so Kurt grabbed a spray bottle of anti-bacterial cleaner and a rag, and began wiping down all the unoccupied tables. He started at the back and made his way forward, occasionally picking up and discarding trash that thoughtless customers had left sitting there. He found a set of keys, a pink pacifier, and a cell phone, all of which he brought to the Lost and Found box under the counter.

"Hey, Kurt," he heard Greg call. "Come on over here, and meet the newest member of the Lima Bean team."

Kurt approached the table, coming around to Greg's side so he could see his new co-worker for the first time. The guy, wearing a slim-fitting red and blue plaid button down shirt, was looking down and signing some papers, so Kurt didn't see his face at first. "Hi," said Kurt brightly, holding out his hand. "I'm Kurt Hummel. It's nice to meet you."

The man looked up, an all-to-familiar smirk on his face. "Is it now?" asked Sebastian, raising an eyebrow.

Kurt was aghast. Sebastian Smythe was the new trainee? It couldn't be. Kurt opened his mouth, _Is this some kind of joke?_ on the tip of his tongue, when the other boy's smirk dropped, and a faint light of panic came to his eyes. It was only the second time Kurt had seen Sebastian appear vulnerable, the first being when he'd expressed remorse earlier that year for saying such terrible things to David Karofsky. It took him aback a bit, and he could tell Sebastian was afraid that Kurt would screw things up for him. It didn't make any sense; why would Sebastian of all people need a job? His family was even wealthier and more connected than Blaine's, even. But whatever the reason, he seemed to be honestly worried, so Kurt held off on asking Greg if he'd lost his goddamn mind. That didn't mean that he'd forgotten or forgiven anything Sebastian had done, however. "Sebastian." he said, continuing to hold his hand out. "Looking to see how the other half lives, are we?"

"Well, like I told Greg here, it's never too late to learn how to make your own way in the world," said Sebastian smoothly, rising out of his chair and shaking Kurt's hand. It was even softer and less calloused than Kurt's, the slight damage from harsh detergents and the occasional burn having taken its toll over the weeks. But there was an undercurrent of strength there, as he gripped Kurt's long fingers with his own. Blue eyes clashed with green and held, neither one wanting to be the first to look away. "I'm looking forward to learning a lot." Sebastian ended the handshake, letting Kurt's hand drag through his slowly before letting go, in a way that felt a little too personal for Kurt's liking. Kurt wiped the hand he drew back on his apron discretely, so that Greg wouldn't notice and question it. Sebastian caught the movement and smiled broadly, looking very amused.

"Greg?" called Libby, from behind the counter. She was on the phone. "The dairy supplier's on the phone. He says he needs to confirm some amounts for tomorrow's delivery."

"Sure, thing, Lib," said Greg. "I'll be right there." He turned to Kurt. "Sounds like you guys know each other after all."

Kurt tried to think of something to say, other than _Why yes, he nearly put out my boyfriend's eye after trying to get into his pants for months_. Or maybe _He photoshopped a disfigured penis onto a picture of my stepbrother and tried to blackmail me and his girlfriend with it in order to win a singing competition_.

Once again though, Sebastian filled in easily. "Kurt used to go to Dalton, and was in my show choir, The Warblers." He conveniently left out that he'd been nowhere near Westerville during the months that Kurt had worn a blue and red blazer.

"Great," said Greg. "Sebastian here has all his paperwork filled out. I was just giving him an overview before he gets started shadowing Marc when he gets here at three. Can you fill him in on some of the basics, while I take this?"

There were few things Kurt could think of that he wanted to do less than sit down at a table with Sebastian, but if they were going to have to work together, maybe it would be best if they cleared the air immediately. "Sure thing, Greg," said Kurt. He locked eyes again with Sebastian, smiling coolly. "Take your time." Greg left, and Kurt replaced him in the chair.

"So," said Sebastian, leaning back in his chair. "I see you wound up with that Lima Bean apron after all. I always thought I might be somewhat psychic."

Kurt waited for the familiar pain to work through him, but interestingly, there wasn't any. The truth was, he didn't care about what Sebastian thought of him, and never had. He'd felt so fragile lately, but he realized in that moment it was because the hurt he'd experienced had been dealt most recently by those he was closest to. It was a new feeling, having someone shoot an arrow towards his softest parts; but instead of being wounded to the core, having the projectile bounce off and lay harmless on the floor. His lips curved as he returned the volley, gratefully.

"Oh yes," said Kurt loftily. "You're a regular Sylvia Browne. Funny, though, how you never saw that apron on yourself." At Sebastian's frown, he continued blissfully. "Ooh, you know what else a tad off from that epic prediction? How about a Nationals trophy, or my boyfriend under your arm?" He looked around the coffee house, as if genuinely searching for either. "Not really feeling the superiority you're so desperately trying to project, Sebastian."

"Speaking of Blaine, how is fun-sized and sexy these days?" asked Sebastian.

"Same as always," said Kurt, "absolutely none of your business." Sebastian said nothing, just grinned hugely. _God, how does he even fit all those teeth in his mouth? It's a miracle he can even hinge his jaw._ "Is that what this is about? Getting a job here so you can stalk Blaine more effectively? I hate to disappoint you – no wait, actually I don't - but since I started working here, he rarely stops by."

"Perhaps it's your incredibly resistible appearance in those khakis?" suggested Sebastian. Despite his instant dislike of Kurt from the moment they met, and distaste for his overly-feminine mannerisms, he was honest enough to admit to himself that the guy had a fantastic ass. It looked made for being pounded into fiercely, maybe even spanked until what he guessed was porcelain-pale flesh turned rosy and pink. Too bad something so nailable was attached to such an annoying, prissy, _girly_ little twink. But in any case, the plain cotton Dockers that all Lima Bean employees were required to wear did nothing for Kurt's perfect rear, making what Sebastian knew was so sweetly curved appear flat as a pancake. Sebastian was already beginning to dread the loss off being able to show off his own marvelous attributes in that area. It almost seemed unfair to deprive the customers of such beauty; maybe he could talk to Greg about it once he was a little more settled into the job.

Would that it was only that. When Kurt initially got his job, Blaine would come in almost daily, as he always had. But the visits began to taper off when it became clear that most of the time, Kurt was too busy to do anything except make Blaine whatever drink he wanted, and sometimes sit with him for his break if the timing was right. And now that he thought of it, it was been a full two weeks since his boyfriend had come into the Lima Bean at all. Blaine resented the coffee house for taking up so much of Kurt's time, which was clear. So maybe it wasn't unexpected that he might not find hanging out there to be his idea of a good time. To Sebastian, however, he only said dismissively "He's been busy this summer." A lie, in fact, because Blaine had turned down the offer this year to perform at Six Flags again, after he was passed over for a more prominent role in the _Bugs Bunny and Looney Tunes Extravaganza_.

"Well that's a shame," said Sebastian. "I can't say I wasn't looking forward to getting up close and personal with him again, as a perk of becoming an employed American. But as that's not really the reason, I'm afraid you won't be getting rid of me that easily."

"So why _do_ you want a job?" asked Kurt. It wasn't like he cared, but it made him even more uncomfortable to be around a Sebastian who had unclear motivations. As horrifying as Sebastian's personality and behavior were to Kurt, he did have to acknowledge that at least you always knew where you stood with him. He was an asshole, but he certainly wasn't evasive.

Reassuring himself that Greg was still deep in conversation on the phone, Sebastian leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. "I don't want a job," he said, in a marginally quieter voice. "I need a job. My folks cut me off."

Kurt's eyes widened in surprise, feeling an odd sting of sympathy. At least, odd in that it was targeted towards Sebastian. "They did?" he asked. "Why? Is it because you're gay?"

Sebastian looked at Kurt in disbelief, then burst out laughing. When he was done, he wiped his eyes. "I have to thank you, I guess. That's the best laugh I've had since the shit hit the fan," he said. "No, Kurt, not because I'm _gay_. You might enjoy hanging your assortment of ugly hats on Lima's biggest victim complex, but I sure as hell don't. You are aware that just because a gay person has a problem, it's not necessarily about 'the gay'," he said sarcastically, making finger quotes in the air.

Kurt flushed. "Fine," he said testily. "What, then? I'm aquiver with anticipation."

"Not that I couldn't get you there," Sebastian leered, "but as I think you've noticed, you're not exactly my type, Tinkerbelle."

"To my ever living regret," replied Kurt, completely deadpan.

"They cut me off because I got in trouble," Sebastian said, deciding to move on in case Greg finished up sooner rather than later. This was definitely not a conversation he wanted his new boss to overhear. "With the cops."

"What did you do?" asked Kurt. God knew, the possibilities were endless when it came to Sebastian Smythe.

Sebastian leaned over further and lowered his voice even more. "Let's just say I met another minute-man of my dreams at Scandals last week. While he had quite the talented mouth when it came to sucking me off in the bathroom, he apparently didn't see fit to use it to tell me his boyfriend was sitting at the bar right outside the door."

Kurt's mouth scrunched up in a moue of disgust. "You…in a public bathroom…did that?" At Sebastian's answering smirk, he shuddered. "That's _repulsive_. What's wrong with you?"

"Based on the number of guys who have happily joined me in bathroom sex across this great nation of ours, I'd say you're the one with the problem," said Sebastian. "I'm not surprised, though." His eyes narrowed. "Tell me, Kurt, how many times has Blaine been treated for frostbite of the penis since the two of you started dating?"

"Not nearly as many times as you've been treated for syphilis, I'll bet," Kurt shot back. "If you really want to make some money, you should invest in a pharmaceutical company that specializes in penicillin. Your prescriptions alone must have them seeing triple digit profits."

"Long story short," said Sebastian, getting back on topic, "The guy didn't take well to seeing the two of us leave the bathroom together. He took a swing at me, got me in the jaw. I punched him back, and then his boyfriend, who had just been blowing me five minutes earlier, attacked me from behind. Some other people got involved, and it turned into a free-for-all, so the owners called the cops to break it up. They busted me for underage drinking and possession."

"Possession?" hissed Kurt. "You do drugs?" A terrible thought crossed his mind. "If you think you're going to deal drugs out of here, you've got another thing coming. I'll turn you into Greg in a second."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Don't get your pink panties in a knot," he said. "Strictly personal consumption only. If I was dealing, genius, would I need to work here?" He took in the set of Kurt's shoulders, and the holier-than-thou expression on his face. "You know, I wouldn't knock it 'till you try it. If you smoked a bowl every now and again, you might actually be tolerable to be around. Could loosen the giant stick up your ass a little, maybe."

Kurt opened up his mouth to retort, but heard the beep of Greg hanging up the cordless phone. "You better not step a foot out of line around here, Sebastian. This is a nice place, a good place. Too good for you, actually. I'm going to be watching you very closely."

"At least you'll enjoy the view," Sebastian said smugly. He sat back in his chair more casually, as Greg returned.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Did Kurt here get you up to speed a little?"

"Yes sir," said Sebastian. "He was very informative." He gave Greg his most winning smile, noting Kurt's glare and folded arms from the corner of his eye, and enjoying it immensely. Having a job for the summer was going to suck, but getting to wind Kurt Hummel up on a regular basis might almost make the whole thing it worth it. He picked up his uniform from the table and stood. "So," he said to Greg, "shall we get started?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to rinzijade on tumblr, an actual barista who's going to help me get all my facts straight about what goes into working at a coffee house. I'd like to welcome her to the happy family of folks who have saved me from making a fool out of myself when writing about unfamiliar topics.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for me taking so long to crank this chapter out. We completely gutted and re-decorated my 14 year old daughter's bedroom all 4th of July week, and all that painting and furniture building really cut into my writing time!
> 
> Huge thanks to rinzijade for help with all the coffee house intel! What would I do without you?

The next morning, Kurt approached the door of the Lima Bean without his usual ease. Greg had informed him that Kurt would be training Sebastian on the morning opening routine, as well as what the morning/lunch shift generally entailed. Since Kurt had only been employed at the Bean for a short period of time, and employee turnover was fairly light, it would be Kurt's first time training someone. That in and of itself didn't make him too nervous, as he was confident in his skills both as a barista, and in telling other people what to do. But training Sebastian...that could be difficult. He doubted Sebastian would particularly enjoy taking direction from him, and he knew it was going to be hard not to let his personal dislike for the other boy bleed over into their training. But Greg would be around, and observing, so Kurt swore he'd be professional. Let Sebastian be the one to get caught snarking and sniping, and maybe the problem would take care of itself; namely, with Greg booting his presumably well-used ass out the door.

Cheered by the mental image, Kurt keyed in the security code and entered the building. He smiled to himself, thinking that perhaps Sebastian would even be late, starting things out on the wrong foot. Sebastian was definitely not the type to stick to the rules, and he might have even been out until the wee hours of the morning, engaging in more disgusting debauchery. But when he walked through the door, he saw that Sebastian was already there, lifting out bags of coffee beans under Greg's supervision.

"Morning, Kurt," said Greg, grinning happily as always. "Sebastian got here fifteen minutes early for his shift, so I clocked him in and got him started." He looked down at Sebastian's bent head approvingly.

Sebastian rose to his feet, a fifteen pound bag of Stauf's Columbia Vienna dark roast held in his arms. Kurt had never seen Sebastian in short sleeves before, and he was momentarily distracted by how unexpectedly toned and firm his arms were. He quickly looked up from them, only to meet knowing green eyes and an obnoxious smirk. Embarrassed to have been caught checking out any part of Sebastian, Kurt felt a blush rise to his cheeks.

 _See something you like, princess?_ thought Sebastian. _Told you you'd enjoy the view. But I mean really, who wouldn't?_ He practically had to bite his tongue not to let the words leave his mouth. He wasn't exactly known for having much of a filter, so being around Kurt while his boss was listening was going to be a challenge.

"How very conscientious of him," said Kurt, having much the same struggle as Sebastian. _He may have nice arms_ , he admitted mentally. _But those arms are attached to his hands, and just_ _ **think**_ _of the nasty, gross places they've been. Ew._ He vowed to follow Sebastian around with hand sanitizer relentlessly, whenever they had a shift together.

"Okay," said Greg. "I'm going to hand you off to Kurt. I'm going to go out front and write out the specials on the sandwich boards." The two boys stood silently as their boss walked out the front door.

As soon as he heard the click of the door closing, Kurt turned to Sebastian. "You can put that down on the counter," he said.

"My pleasure, your highness," said Sebastian, setting the bag down. "What else might I do to please milady this fine morning?"

Kurt's nostrils flared. "You can keep your mouth closed while I show you how this works," he said pithily.

"I'm more used to guys asking me to open it," Sebastian said suggestively. "But then again, this is you we're talking about."

"I'm sure," said Kurt, the words dripping with disdain. "Look, do you want to learn how to work this shift, or are you seriously incapable of doing anything that doesn't involve one of your orifices?"

"Well, there's always my di-" Sebastian broke off when Kurt turned from him, marching towards the front door. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going out there to tell Greg that he's hired a complete asshole," said Kurt, at the end of his patience. "Someone who's had very recent legal troubles involving drugs and alcohol. Oh, and that he might want to have you tested for hepatitis before he lets you touch anything that could potentially be served to a customer."

 _Bitch_ , thought Sebastian, but stifled it. "All right, all right," he said, conceding. "You don't have to do that. We can call a truce for when we're working together." He didn't know how he was ever going to follow through with that, but hey, one step at a time.

"Fine," said Kurt tightly, walking back. "I mean it, though. You can ask questions if you need to clarify anything, but otherwise, shut it." He took a deep breath and walked over to the counter. "This is a commercial espresso machine. The first thing we do is fill the empty bins on top up with beans. Regular on the left, decaf on the right. Do not get them mixed up, under any circumstances. Once the beans are in, making the espresso itself is all automated. The machine will grind the beans and brew the grounds all in its own. You just have to press the right button, depending on what the customer wants; one shot, two shots, or three shots." Kurt pointed at one side of the machine. "This is the hot water spout, for making teas and Americanos. The water comes out at about one hundred and eighty degrees, so you'll want to make sure you don't spill any on you." He pointed at the other side, "This is the steaming wand, for heating and frothing milk. The steam will burn you even worse than the hot water, so be careful when you're using it. Questions?"

Sebastian shook his head, then tilted it a little, as if to say _See, I can be good_.

Kurt turned to the back, indicating the brewed coffee station. "As many specialty drinks as we sell, there's still a fair number of people who just want a cup of regular or decaf coffee. We serve four different kinds daily, all from Stauf's Coffee Roasters in Columbus. The medium and decaf are always the same, but we switch up the light and dark roasts on a weekly basis. You'll notice these are automated too. Fill it with beans, hit the button for a full carafe or half carafe, and it does everything for you. At the top of every hour, we toss anything that's left and brew another. Greg won't sell coffee that's sat for longer than that, so you need to stay on top of it on slower times. But when we're busy, we run out long before then anyway."

Kurt gestured to a rack of pump bottles. "These are the flavored syrups, including the concentrated coffee syrups we use to make frappes. The customers will often refer to them as 'Frappuccinos', and we don't correct them; but we always say frappe, as in 'tall skinny mocha frappe'. We're not Starbucks, so we can't legally refer to our iced blended drinks as Frappuccinos. All the bottles are dated when we open them, and if you see one that's more than a month old, write it on the waste log and throw it away. We usually go through them a lot faster than that, but it does sometimes happen with the less popular flavors."

He looked at the clock, noting that time was getting short. "Our baked goods come from Pat's Donuts and Kreme," Kurt said. "They drop off here at five am, directly to Greg. We fill the bakery case with what they bring, and there's a toaster oven if anyone wants something warmed up. We also make sure that the beverage case is fully stocked from the back room with juices and bottled water. Finally, we fill up all the things like cups, lids, straws, sweeteners, napkins, and hot-sleeves, at least to get us through the morning rush. That's a never ending job, though, along with the cleaning and clearing."

Sebastian considered Kurt. There was something a little different about him in this situation, something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He'd certainly experienced bossy, prickly Kurt on several occasions, but Sebastian could see that something about him had changed since they'd last seen each other. He'd never really taken Kurt that seriously before, with his silly outfits and ridiculously stereotypical flamboyance. But it seemed like a good deal of that had been stripped away, at least, when Kurt was in work mode. Baggy pants or no, Kurt looked much more masculine in his uniform, his arms and chest filling out the white polo shirt just as well as his own did. His voice, while still high-pitched, was more firm and less breathy than Sebastian remembered from their earlier exchanges.

And then Sebastian realized what was different, what was missing from the Kurt standing in front of him. That air of uncertainty, the scent of desperation that Sebastian had noticed and targeted from the beginnings of their verbal sparrings. The other boy had always acted confident, meeting him barb for barb and looking down his nose at him. But like any good predator, Sebastian could sense fear, and underneath all the bitchy posturing he could smell Kurt's all too well. Fear that his boyfriend would be taken from him, that he couldn't compete with someone as desirable and experienced as Sebastian. That the Regionals trophy would be displayed somewhere other than the halls of McKinley High, and his glee club would never have another shot at winning Nationals. And that for all his talk about making it big someday, the reality might very well be that he would live out the rest of his life within the Lima city limits.

Sebastian had been able to see it so clearly before, but not anymore. Kurt wasn't unsure of himself here in the Lima Bean. He seemed very much in control of his surroundings, familiar with and knowledgeable about everything his eyes touched. The strident bravado that had set Sebastian's teeth on edge had somehow been replaced with a subdued, but truer confidence. It made Kurt appear older, more intense, and had it been anyone else Sebastian would have probably found it pretty hot. _Too bad about the gay face and hermetically sealed legs_ , he thought.

 _Now who's staring at who?_ thought Kurt. He was about to ask Sebastian if he wanted to take a picture so it lasted longer, when Greg walked in.

"Six am, guys," he announced. "Our first customer is right behind me. Kurt, I want you on drinks. I'll man the register. Sebastian, you stand next to me and listen to what the customers order. Write their names and orders on the cups, and hand them off to Kurt. Try to get a feel for what the big sellers are, especially this time of day. When it slows down, we'll have you try making a few drinks yourself, like Marc showed you last night, and see how it goes. I'll have Kurt start showing you how to ring sales into the register after the lunch crunch."

Before he'd even finished speaking, a line of five people had already formed. Sebastian could tell this was going to be different than the evening shift he'd worked last night, where it had been steady but slow. It was awkward at first, trying to work beside Kurt. They kept bumping into each other, Sebastian moving slowly in his inexperience, and Kurt moving faster than usual to try and keep the line from backing up. It was hard to remember all the abbreviations for orders that Marc had showed him the night before, and of course people were ordering things that hadn't been last night. He could tell Kurt was trying not to lose patience and snap at him. "Seabastian," he said at one point (smiling rather grimly and with a false cheer that sounded almost manic), "If they want tea, you have to specify the kind on the cup; green, black, rooibos, etcetera. Can you do that, please?"

 _How about I shove this sharpie up your ass instead_ , Sebastian thought, stressed and tired even after just an hour of this madness they called the morning rush. But he swallowed the words, shooting a toothy, equally fake smile back at Kurt. "Sure thing, Kurt," he piped up spiritedly, loudly enough for Greg to hear him over the din. He knew Kurt wanted him out of the Lima Bean, but letting Kurt Hummel win was something he'd had to experience too many times for his liking. He'd fake positivity until it killed him, if necessary.

But as the morning marched on, Sebastian and Kurt eventually found a rhythm together. Kurt was able to understand Sebastian's scribbles better the more he looked at them, which resulted in less stopping to ask what the hell was written on the cup. And Sebastian began to notice that Greg had a habit of blinking a few times and hesitating just slightly when greeting what would inevitably turn out to be a difficult customer. So when the saw his boss do that, he would take special care to ink the orders and names as neatly as possible to avoid confusion. The constant stream of customers, orders and voices made it easy to focus on only what was happening in the present, and their animosity towards each other somehow floated away in the organized chaos.

When the line finally faded away in that brief oasis between the morning rush and the lunchtime crunch, Kurt turned to Sebastian, a genuine smile flicking up the corners of his mouth. "Not bad, newbie," he said teasingly. "That could have gone a lot worse."

"You could have fooled me," replied Sebastian, still in that weird zen state where his loathing for Kurt was inexplicably inaccessible at that moment. "Is it always like that?"

"Pretty much," replied Kurt. "On weekdays, at least. Weekend mornings, the rush lasts a little longer, but it's more spread out."

"Good job, guys," said Greg, having finished cashing out the last customer. "Why don't we start Sebastian on drinks by having him make a couple for the two of you, and then you can take your break together?"

Instantly the awkwardness between the two boys was back. "Uh…sure," said Sebastian. He flashed a crooked, uncomfortable smile at Kurt. "What can I get you?" he asked.

Kurt was tempted to ask for something incredibly complicated, just to watch Sebastian squirm, but he didn't want Greg to wonder why he was being difficult. "I'll have a small vanilla latte," he answered. He watched as Sebastian, despite some fumbling here and there, made his drink correctly. Then he made himself a cappuccino, accurately inverting the amounts of steamed milk and foam in Kurt's drink. Sebastian slid both cups into hot sleeves and capped them. He held the latte out to Kurt, who accepted it with a grudging nod of acceptance.

"Nicely done," said Greg approvingly, beaming at Sebastian. "Looks like we've got another winner, eh Kurt?"

Sebastian found it difficult not to laugh out loud at Kurt's expression, which rather looked like he'd just bitten unexpectedly into a lemon. "Thanks, Greg," he said, putting just the right touch of humble earnestness into his voice.

"No, really," Greg said. "You're coming right along. Right, Kurt?"

Kurt mentally counted to five, to make sure he was in control of his tongue before speaking. "A regular diamond in the rough," he responded, managing to keep the worst sarcasm out of his tone.

Greg clapped Kurt on the shoulder lightly, smiling. "I'll see you guys in ten," he said.

Kurt and Sebastian wordlessly made their way over to a table and sat down. They sat just as quietly for the first couple of minutes, looking everywhere but at each other. Neither boy knew how to even start a normal conversation with the other, or really even wanted to have one. Finally, Sebastian shrugged; he hated being bored more than just about anything, and sitting across from Kurt in silence definitely qualified. "So," he said, smiling a little when Kurt's eyes shot up to his in surprise. "You know why I'm here. What about you? Earning some cash to make more eye searing additions to your wardrobe for college?"

"Screw you", said Kurt, sending Sebastian an irritated glare. He crossed his arms defensively.

"Oh please," Sebastian scoffed. "Don't tell me you're actually going to try to pass as a man when you hit campus in the Fall. Unless you're attending a university for the blind, that is."

"As if you don't know," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "Nice attempt at trying to get under my skin, though."

Sebastian didn't have a single clue what Kurt was talking about. "Know what?" he asked, exasperated.

"That I'm not going to college," Kurt said. He was taken aback by Sebastian's dumbstruck look. "Wait, you didn't know?"

"How would I?" asked Sebastian.

Kurt frowned. Why did he assume that Sebastian knew? Was it his paranoia that everyone who looked at him could see what a failure he was? But what he refused to admit, even to himself, was his suspicion that Blaine may have had further contact with Sebastian after seeing them mend fences at Regionals. "I just thought you might have heard it through the grapevine," Kurt said vaguely.

"Not a peep," said Sebastian. "What happened? I thought you and Babs the Younger were off to New York after graduation?"

Kurt sipped his coffee. "I didn't make it into NYADA," he said flatly. "Rachel did."

Sebastian nodded with obvious false sympathy. "Bombed the audition, did you?"

"Actually, no," Kurt shot back. "I did great." At Sebastian's condescending look, he continued. "Not just in my own mind, thank you. I sang _Not The Boy Next Door_ , and the Dean said Hugh Jackman himself would have been impressed by my performance."

"So your BFF blew you out of the water, huh?" said Sebastian. "Didn't you learn anything from being in the Warblers? A guy needs to surround himself with the mediocre to really stand out. Rachel Berry may be an annoying little twit, but she's got one hell of a set of pipes on her. If the Dean liked you, she must have fallen in love with Rachel."

"Not really," said Kurt. "At least, not at the audition. Rachel choked."

Sebastian had seemed surprised that Kurt wasn't college-bound, but he looked utterly shocked at that piece of information. "What?" he said. "Miss Rachel Put-A-Quarter-In-Me-Like-I'm-A-Jukebox Berry choked?"

"Yeah," said Kurt. "She blew the lyrics. Twice."

"So how did she get in?" asked Sebastian, wrinkling his brow. "Did she score another audition somehow?"

"Sort of. She kept calling Dean Thibideaux non-stop, and then finally tracked her down in Chicago. She and Tina convinced her to come watch us at Regionals, and I guess that did it." Sebastian was squinting at him, like Kurt was trying to explain nuclear physics using only one-syllable words. "What?"

"Let me get this straight," said Sebastian, sure he must be missing something. "You nailed your audition like it was a drunk nymphomaniac just after last call. Rachel forgot the words twice during the most important five minutes of her entire life, then harassed the Dean of one of the most prestigious performing arts schools in the country until she gave in. And in the end, she got into NYADA and you didn't."

"That pretty much sums it up," said Kurt.

Sebastian nodded and took a long drink of his coffee. He set it down, and said in an entirely matter-of-fact tone, "Man, that's kind of fucked."

"I beg your pardon?" said Kurt.

"If you're telling the truth about all of that? That's really fucked up. It makes no sense. You must want to smother Rachel with a pillow in the dead of night for stealing your spot like that." Sebastian looked at the clock. "And on that note, I think breaktime's over." He unfolded his lanky frame from the chair and walked back to the counter, while Kurt stared after him, open-mouthed.

Kurt slowly got up. Sebastian's reaction hadn't exactly been what he was expecting. No one had ever really come out and said that to him before, that Kurt deserved to go to NYADA more than Rachel did. For sure, his family and friends thought the school was crazy for not accepting Kurt _and_ Rachel. But it was the first time that anyone had ever suggested that Rachel had unfairly been given the opportunity that rightfully should have been Kurt's. Countless times, he'd heard, "You're so talented, Kurt, how could they not take both of you?" But never once - not from Mr. Scheuster, or Finn, or even Blaine - did he hear "How could they have taken Rachel and not you?" Kurt was human, and the thought had of course crossed his mind; but he felt even more guilty and selfish for having it since no one else seemed to share the idea, even in passing. Until now.

Kurt wrote the time in on the sign-in sheet, still thinking. Sebastian wasn't one of them, so maybe it wasn't surprising he didn't get it. Sure other members of New Directions bitched from time to time that Rachel (and Blaine, for that matter) go too many solos, too much attention, and that it wasn't fair. But when the chips were down, and it was time to pick a soloist for important performances, in the end everyone always seemed to agree that Rachel was the best. Kurt was special, they were all special, but only one person could be the _most_ special. And time and time again, everyone was in agreement that that person was Rachel Berry. Sebastian, because he didn't see everything that Rachel did and said and sang, and because he didn't love her like they all did, he was just…Kurt broke off the thought, looking over to where Sebastian was paying attention to something Greg was showing him at the espresso machine.

 _Objective_ , a voice came suddenly from inside his head. It startled him, causing Kurt to drop the pencil. He turned around, clutching the counter. Maybe he was going crazy, hearing voices like that. To his dismay, it started up again. _Sebastian's objective. He doesn't have a history with Rachel, hasn't been subjected to her guilt trips and tirades and overwhelming presence for the last three years. Hasn't dated her, befriended her, broken her heart, laughed and cried with her, or stood awe of her talent. Maybe it's not that he doesn't see what everyone else sees, it's that he sees things that the rest of you refuse to._

"Everything okay, Kurt?" he heard Greg say from behind him.

Kurt took a deep breath, and pasted a smile on his face as he turned around. "Absolutely," he said. "My latte was very good, Sebastian. I think maybe you're ready to try making a few for the paying customers." As he did so often, he pushed all of his thoughts about anything personal aside, ready to focus on work. If he was going to have a psychotic break, he'd do it as discreetly as possible, at home in his own bedroom.

Kurt made sure to be home on time that day. Somehow the planets had aligned, and all four of the Hummel-Hudsons were free for family dinner together. With Kurt's work schedule, Finn's stocking up on social life before shipping out to Fort Benning in Georgia for basic training, and Carol and Burt's frequent trips to DC, all of them sitting down to a meal together had become increasingly rare. Carole had been simmering a pot roast with vegetables for hours, and Kurt began to smell the yeasty scent of fresh rolls baking as he changed out of his uniform and washed up.

Dinner was delicious, and the conversation flowed smoothly, especially since they all had a lot of catching up to do with each other. Kurt was glad when Finn spent most of his time talking about all the fun he was currently having hanging out with the guys, as opposed to how much he was looking forward to military service. The topic never failed to upset Kurt, though he tried to hide it as much as he could. He knew his dad and Carole were proud of Finn for enlisting, and that logically, the Army could afford some great opportunities to someone like his brother. But try as he may, whenever the subject came up, all he could picture was a flag-draped coffin, his stepmother's sobs, and a bedroom at the end of the hall that would forever be empty. It was morbid and probably melodramatic; but knowing what had happened to Finn's dad, along with the pain he still felt from losing his mom kept him from feeling very optimistic about the whole thing.

"So how's work going, buddy?" Burt asked Kurt. "Looks like you're still working a lot of hours."

"It's going really well," Kurt answered. "Greg finally got rid of Cody, I'm happy to say."

"Won't that mean even more hours?" said Carole, motherly concern evident in her words. "You already work so much, honey. I know you're young and full of energy, but you have to take care of yourself. You'll get sick."

"It's okay," said Kurt, not wanting to worry his stepmother, but basking in her coddling a little all the same. "My boss already hired someone, and they started last night."

"Seem like they're going to work out okay?" asked Burt.

"I wouldn't have though it yesterday when Greg introduced him to me," said Kurt, "but it's possible. The training went surprisingly well today."

"Why surprisingly?" asked Carole.

Kurt shot a look at Finn, and sighed. "I kind of already know him," he said. "Finn does too, and you guys have heard of him. It's Sebastian Smythe, from the Warblers."

"Dude!" exclaimed Finn. "Are you fu-" Remembering where he was, Finn started again, but no less heatedly. "Are you freaking kidding me?"

"The boy that nearly blinded Blaine?" asked Burt.

"And made fun of you so much?" said Carole, the concern back on her face.

"Yes," said Kurt dryly. "That Sebastian."

"That's not right, Kurt," said Finn angrily. "You shouldn't have to work with that douchenozzle! Sorry mom," he said, wincing at his mom's reproachful glare.

"Look, it's fine," said Kurt. "He's a jerk, but I can handle it. We managed to work an entire shift together without killing each other." They'd even made it through sharing their lunch break, although Sebastian certainly never let up on trying to needle Kurt.

" _What about the other schools you applied to?" Sebastian asked, chewing on his egg salad sandwich. "They turn you down too, I take it?"_

" _I didn't apply to any other schools," Kurt said._

" _Wow, all your eggs in one basket much?" snarked Sebastian. "I knew you weren't the brightest light at McKinley, but I'll admit I didn't think you were_ _ **that**_ _stupid."_

" _As always, I'm overjoyed to have disappointed you," said Kurt. He couldn't really get mad at Sebastian for stating something that had become painfully obvious, even to him. "Whatever, what's done is done," he said, waving his hand dismissively._

" _So you're putting in applications for the January term, I take it?" Sebastian asked. "Somewhere far away from me, hopefully?"_

" _No," said Kurt. "I'm just, you know, working here. Staying in Lima. Maybe not forever, but for the time being."_

_Sebastian looked like Kurt had told him he was disemboweling kittens in his spare time. "Why?" he asked, sounding horrified._

_Kurt started to feel uncomfortable. It was one thing to work with Sebastian, to even be forced to spend breaks with him. Even the bickering didn't bother him much; it was almost entertaining at times, getting to score points off the other boy. He spent so much time being polite to customers and trying to hide his true feelings from everyone, it was almost a relief to be openly cutting and sarcastic for a change. But even if he'd had an explanation for just giving up for the time being – which he didn't – he owed Sebastian Smythe exactly nothing. Less than nothing, really. Kurt pretended he'd felt the buzz of a text and pulled out his phone, pointedly ignoring his co-worker._

" _Suit yourself," said Sebastian, sprawling back in his chair and taking a bite of his sandwich. "Other than the blissful thought of never having to speak to you again, I couldn't care less if you spent the rest of your natural life in this shithole. Maybe you can even be barefoot and pregnant with your little snack wrap of a boyfriend by 2014."_

"Why does he even need a job?" asked Finn, throwing up his hands. "Isn't his family loaded?"

Kurt hesitated. As tempting as it was to share Sebastian's story with people who would find it as appalling as he did, something was telling him to think twice about it. Sebastian's father was a government employee, and Burt was now in Congress. The whole political thing was more complicated than his family had ever anticipated, and Kurt was wary about sharing information that could potentially be brought into that arena. Especially something as damaging as the trouble that Sebastian had gotten himself into. He had to come up with something that would keep Sebastian's secret, but still be plausible. He didn't think that any of them, especially Finn, would buy Sebastian's line to Greg about wanting to become a productive, working member of society.

"It was his dad's idea," said Kurt, going with the idea that the best kind of lie was one that was partially true. "He apparently got it in his head that Sebastian needed a reality check or something. He, uh…wanted him to learn the value of a hard day's work, I guess." He held his breath, waiting to see if his family would accept his explanation.

Finally, Burt nodded. "Commendable," he said. "I've met Stephen Smythe a couple of times. For a guy who's a lawyer _and_ a politician, he seems like a pretty straight shooter. Glad he's trying to get his kid under control." Kurt let his breath out, grateful when Burt shifted the conversation to talk about a non-discrimination task force he'd been asked to serve on.

When the plates were cleared and the conversation finally dwindled, Kurt and Finn rose without being asked to clear the table. Finn filled the dishwasher, while Kurt hand-washed the items that were too big to fit in. When they were done, Finn held up his hand for a high-five, which Kurt obligingly returned. Then Finn grabbed him by the shoulder in a one armed, brotherly hug. "Be careful, man," he said. Finn sounded almost careless, but Kurt could easily see the concern in his eyes, much like his mother's. "Don't turn your back on that dude, okay? He's trouble, and I got a bad feeling about him."

Kurt smiled, touched by Finn's concern, and slightly exasperated that he thought Kurt needed to warned about Sebastian of all people. "I won't take my eyes off him," agreed Kurt. "Promise."

Bidding Finn and then his parents good night, Kurt retired to his bedroom. Even though he could sleep in the next day, he was tired, and just wanted to idly surf the web for an hour or so before going to sleep. He could have called Blaine, but his boyfriend hadn't texted him since Kurt said he'd be spending the evening with his family. If Kurt called or texted him now, Blaine would want to get together, and Kurt just didn't feel up to it. He flipped open the lid on his laptop, then changed once more into soft jersey pajama bottoms and a white tank top.

Kurt checked in on Facebook and Twitter, then clicked for a new tab. He was thinking about streaming something on Netflix (his co-worker Megan kept begging him to watch some MTV show called Teen Wolf, which featured a pairing called "Sterek" that was apparently the hottest thing ever), but instead he looked at the blank tab, his mind unwillingly going back to the earlier conversation with Sebastian. Why had he given himself over to the idea that it was NYADA or nothing? Was it because if he couldn't have what he wanted most, he didn't want anything? Because not getting in had crushed him to the point where he was terrified to risk another rejection? Or because he was punishing himself for his failure? Maybe it was some combination of all of that, or some things he hadn't even thought of yet. But did he really want to stay in Lima, working at the coffee shop and living at his parent's house, while his boyfriend finished high school? And even if he did, what would happen when Blaine graduated? Would he then leave _Kurt_ behind, making drinks and mopping up dirty tables while he went off on his own NYADA-like dream?

Kurt used to want more for himself than that. He used to believe, was utterly convinced, that he deserved better than that. How had he gotten so far away from the boy who would have walked barefoot to New York City if it had been necessary to get there, who would have scaled mountains and built bridges with his own two hands if it meant leaving Lima far behind him? Was he so far away that he'd disappeared from sight entirely?

He thought about typing _New York Performing Arts Schools_ into the search bar. Or maybe even _Ohio State Universities._ But the thought of doing either made his heart race and his palms sweat. Perhaps an even smaller step needed to come first. There was a small, two year community school in Lima; Rhodes State College, where Greg had in fact gotten his Associates degree in Business Administration. Kurt quickly navigated to their website before he could second guess himself. He clicked to open the PDF of the course catalog, finding some introductory liberal arts classes that sounded kind of interesting. He knew his schedule at The Bean could be flexed, enough so that he could maybe take a class or two in the Fall, just to see what it was like.

Kurt's phone vibrated on the bedside stand next to him. He picked it up, surprised to see the words _SS Cell_ displayed. Greg encouraged all of the employees to have each other's contact phone numbers, in case there was an urgent need to get a hold of someone on one of his rare days or evenings off. He thumbed the screen, reading the text quickly.

_How the hell do you get coffee stains out of a white cotton polo shirt?_

Kurt snorted. _Laundry powder, cold water and vinegar. Make a paste, put on stain and let set for 5 min. Then wash whole shirt in cold water._

_Why white shirts, btw? Not something darker? That shows stains less?_

_White is the Spring/Summer shirt. In Fall/Winter it's green ones._

_Good to know. Sweet dreams, ectomorph._

Kurt flipped off the phone screen, as if Sebastian could see him. He turned the phone off and tossed it back on the bedside table, realizing he was chuckling softly under his breath as he shut down his laptop and got ready for bed. But the whole time he was brushing his teeth and hair, and taking his contacts out, there was something weirdly familiar about the text exchange poking at him. He had turned the light off and was just drifting towards sleep when it came to him; Kurt was so exhausted though, it slipped away before he could hold on to the thought _. When Sebastian was trying to get with Blaine, that was the excuse he used. Asking for laundry tips, to get stains out of a uniform. What a weird coincidence._

By the time Kurt awoke the next morning a little after ten am, feeling unusually well rested, he'd completely forgotten he'd ever made the connection in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

_Three weeks_ , thought Sebastian, looking down at his paycheck stub. Three fucking weeks, and he wasn't anywhere near to paying off his debt to his parents. The eight hundred and sixteen dollars that the fines had totaled would have been doable in a couple of months, tops, but the interest had him continuously going one step backwards for every two he took forward. Greg was giving him nearly full time hours, but it wasn't nearly as much money as Sebastian had worked out in his head upon taking the minimum wage job. He'd never realized how much got taken out of a paycheck, how many things you were forced to pay into when you had a job. Social fucking Security? He was seventeen, what the hell did he need to worry about that for? Medicare? His dad had perfectly good health insurance for him! By the time they took all that shit out, along with State and Federal taxes (and only now did he understand why adults seemed to always be bitching about taxes, hoo boy did he ever), his paycheck was substantially less than he'd figured.

Plus, since his allowance was cut off, he had to pay for anything he wanted out of his check. His dad had canceled the credit card that Sebastian's iTunes account had been hooked up to, forcing him to buy gift cards with cash to keep up his music collection. His dad had made him give back the gas card that he normally filled up his car with, too. Sebastian had never even really looked at how much gas cost per gallon, and he now found himself in the humiliating position of going to three different gas stations to find which one had the cheapest fuel. He got to eat and drink for free at work, but if Jeff and Nick called wanting to go out for pizza, he had to pay his own way. Why was everything so expensive, and why had he never noticed before?

The only thing he was saving money on by working was the expense of bar-hopping and clubbing. His fake ID had been confiscated, and he didn't have the money to get another decent one made. Plus, if he got caught out drinking again, his parents would probably cut him off for the rest of his life. But even if he'd wanted to take the chance, he was too tired to want to go out much anyway. He was in good shape and used to physical activity, but somehow carrying cases of coffee, standing at a register for hours, and dealing with pain in the ass customers was way more exhausting than playing lacrosse and rehearsing choreography. It was draining, and most nights he was in bed embarrassingly early. The one thing he really did miss though, was getting laid. Sebastian didn't keep phone numbers or contact information from any of his hookups, so without the bars to cull random fucks from, he was having the kind of dry spell he hadn't experienced since he'd lost his virginity two years ago. He didn't screw anyone he went to school with (you don't shit where you eat was his motto), and apparently, trying to score with customers was somewhat frowned upon. Which was a shame, because he'd been passed more than one business card or phone number along with cash or a debit card since he'd started. Mostly from girls and women, but there had been a couple of guys that seemed interested in a little more from Sebatian than a large mocha and their change. And sadly, it seemed that there was only one other Lima Bean employee that played for his team, who also happened to be the last guy on Earth Sebastian wanted to fuck.

Speaking of which, he needed to get back out to the counter to finish off his shift with Kurt. Over the past three weeks they'd worked several times together, and had learned to tolerate each other's presence fairly well. From a practical perspective, Sebastian didn't mind working with Kurt, because he was a hard worker and did more than his fair share. The other employees, including Sebastian, tended to slack off when and where they could, but Kurt was always doing something. Even when it was slow, he'd wipe out the bakery case, or sweep the dining room floor. Part of Sebastian figured it must be Kurt's common, blue collar roots surfacing. But it also just seemed like Kurt needed to be in perpetual motion to keep some troubling thoughts at bay. The few times Sebastian had caught him lost in thought, the expression on his face was rarely a happy one.

Sebastian relieved Greg at the register; now that he was fully trained, he worked a regular two person shift, with Greg jumping in to help when things got busy. Kurt, frothing half and half for a cafe breve, nodded at him briefly to acknowledge the switch. Sebastian waited on the next person in line, a young girl with a purple streak in her hair, who barely looked up from her phone to mumble out her order for a medium iced white raspberry mocha. When he handed Kurt her cup, their fingers brushed accidentally, which occasionally happened. They had both learned not to cringe away from each other in distaste, as it would result in strange looks from Greg and their other co-workers. The warmth of Kurt's fingers seemed to linger on Sebastian's skin, and he almost groaned audibly at the thought of being so hard up for physical contact, the unintentional caress had even the smallest effect on him.

He did have to admit that after spending so much time in close quarters with Kurt, the little brat wasn't quite as hideous as he'd once thought. The strange features seemed to somehow work together on Kurt's face, at least, once he got used to them. And whereas before he'd always found Kurt's skin to be unappealingly bare and baby-smooth, working next to him he was able to notice the light flocking of hair on his forearms, and the slight stubble that would sometimes show up on his chin if he hadn't shaved recently. Combined with the trim build of muscle on his frame, it was a little more difficult to write Kurt off as a girl or an infant, as he had in the past. Frequent proximity and frustrating celibacy were conspiring to make Sebastian occasionally think that if Kurt wasn't _Kurt_ , the notion of bending him over the nearest flat surface for a nice hard dicking wouldn't be entirely out of the question. But no way was he desperate enough to try prying open Kurt Hummel's iron-clad chastity belt.

"Crap," he heard Kurt mutter next to him, startling him out of his reverie. He heaved a sigh. "Can you switch with me and do drinks for the next few customers?"

"Why?" asked Sebastian. It was the first time anyone had asked him to switch over out of the blue like that.

Kurt lowered his voice to a whisper, jerking his head a little to indicate the line. "You see that older woman, in the red floral skirt?" he asked.

"Yeah?" answered Sebastian. The woman grey haired woman in question was looking straight ahead at the back of the person in front of her, not looking at either the menu or the counter.

"She doesn't like me to make her drink," Kurt said, slipping around Sebastian's back and over to the register. He took the next customer's order, apologizing for the delay,

"What'd you do?" asked Sebastian quietly when Kurt handed the cup over. He eyed the woman's stocky build. "Give her a low-fat beverage by mistake? The horror."

"Um, no," said Kurt, flushing a little.

Sebastian was confused. It wasn't like Kurt to be uncomfortable with the customers. In fact, most of the time he seemed to really enjoy greeting regulars by name, asking after their pets or children, or suggesting a new drink or pastry being offered. He looked at Kurt questioningly. It was so unusual to see Kurt distressed over work, he somehow found himself concerned. He looked over at the line, which only had three people in it, ending with the skirted woman. Sebastian stepped over to the register. "Sorry," he said to the next person in line. "It'll just be a moment. I need my colleague's help with something. He'll be right with you." He ignored Kurt's muffled protests, dragging him over by the empty lunch prep counter. "What's her problem, Kurt?"

"Sebastian, you can't ignore the customers," Kurt said heatedly. When Sebastian simply folded his arms and refused to budge, he caved, just wanting to get the line moving again before people started complaining. "She doesn't want me to make her drink because I'm gay," he admitted.

"What?" said Sebastian, a little too loudly. Kurt shushed him, so he said more quietly, "Did she come right out and say that? And how does she even know you're gay?"

"No, not outright," Kurt answered. "But she looks at me like I'm disgusting. And once she was here with a friend, and I overheard her say something about it being a disgrace that someone with a son like me was representing decent people Congress." There was a flash of hurt in Kurt's eyes at that, as if what people thought of his father was more hurtful than what they thought of him. "Besides," he said, eyes going cold, "I've got that _gay face_ , remember?"

Sebastian felt a strange pang of regret at Kurt's words. "What the hell does you being gay have to do with making her coffee, anyway?" he said, deflecting.

"She probably thinks I'll give her AIDS or something," Kurt said dismissively, like it didn't even matter. "She's not thrilled to have me take her order and cash her out, either, but she always uses a debit card, and doesn't have to touch anything that I have except for the cup."

"You should tell Greg," Sebastian said, knowing instinctively that Kurt never had. "He would never put up with someone treating you like that. Any of us, really, but especially not you."

"I don't want Greg to have to deal with it," Kurt said. "And I don't want him to lose business, even from homophobes." He looked over Sebastian's shoulder at the line, where one more person had added themselves to the queue. "Are we done here? Just make the damn drinks until she's gone, Sebastian." He started to walk back to the register, but Sebastian grabbed his arm. "What now?" he asked peevishly.

"But Kurt," Sebastian said. "I'm gay too."

In spite of himself, Kurt laughed. Sebastian had said it as if his sexuality had only just occurred to him. "She doesn't know that, and I doubt she'd suspect it, either. You're like Blaine," he said, eyes darting away. "You can pass, without much effort even."

Sebastian felt the regret swell up again, a little stronger this time. "Kurt," he started, not really knowing what was going to come out next.

"Can we please just go back to work?" said Kurt. Turning on his heel, he walked back to the register, apologizing again for the delay and announcing a ten percent discount to everyone already in line for the inconvenience. Sebastian watched out of the corner of his eye when it was the difficult customer's turn. As Kurt had said, she looked down her nose at him, as if he were a dirty piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. She gave her order tersely and then looked away, as if the sight of Kurt inking her iced coffee order on the plastic cup was too painful for her to watch. Kurt acted as if he didn't even notice, smiling and thanking her for her order, asking her to come back again.

It pissed Sebastian off. He'd been sheltered from a great deal of homophobia, because even if there were people in his parent's social circle who had a problem with homosexuality (and he bet there were), there was a polite agreement that Such Things We Not Discussed in Polite Company. Sebastian's family had always been supportive of him; he'd never even had a coming out, per se. He just knew he liked boys from a very early age, and it was always treated as a complete non-issue in his house. Every school he'd ever attended had been like Dalton, posh and structured, with strict anti-bullying policies and a fair number of openly gay students. And of course, there was what Kurt had brought up himself, that most people didn't even suspect that a tall, athletic boy with no effeminate qualities to speak of was gay. It was rare for Sebastian to even mention it in conversation, unless the subject of dating or sex came up. Who did that ugly old cow think she was, to treat someone like garbage because of who or what they liked to stick their cock in? Sebastianwas far superior to her, thank you very much, not the other way around.

Cashed out, the woman came to stand by the small pick-up shelf. Unlike with Kurt, she made eye contact with and smiled at Sebastian. He didn't return it, and she looked away, as if unsure what his problem was. He capped her drink with a clear plastic lid, reaching for a paper-wrapped straw. He found it ironic that she was more comfortable having Sebastian make her drink as opposed to Kurt, if her thoroughly ignorant concern about disease was indeed behind that. While both boys were gay and sexually active, Sebastian knew he'd had a lot more sex than Kurt, and not all of it as safe as it could have been. However, despite Kurt's insinuations, he'd never actually gotten an STD, and the HIV test he'd had after a particularly wild weekend (with multiple partners and way too many poppers for him to be sure he'd been careful enough) had been negative. _I almost wish I did have something nasty I could possibly pass along to you_ , _bitch,_ he thought. Then a thought occurred to him, and he finally found something to smile about.

He dropped the woman's straw on the floor. "Oops," he said, this time flashing her a bashful grin and a wink. She colored, the moron, preening under his flirtatiousness. Sinking to his knees to pick up the straw, he quickly popped the lid on her drink, worked his tongue and cheeks a few times, then spit the resulting saliva into her coffee. He replaced the cap and stood up. "Let me get you a new straw," he said, smiling brightly with as many perfectly white, straight teeth displayed as he could manage. "I'll just throw this dirty one away. But here's your drink," he said, holding out the cup. "I hope you enjoy it."

There was a blur of movement, and a shout that sounded like his name. The next thing Sebastian knew the cup had been slapped out of his hand, drenching his front with ice cold coffee. He turned in shock, barely able to keep the _Fuck!_ that wanted to escape his mouth from coming out. Kurt was standing there, brown liquid soaking into his polo shirt as well, blue eyes wide. Sebastian could hear the woman who had just seen her large ice coffee ruined yelling, and he just managed to resist turning around and telling her to shut the fuck up. Kurt and Sebastian stared at each other, cold coffee dripping onto their pants and shoes. _She had to order the twenty ounce size,_ he thought. _Largest fucking cup of coffee we have on the menu._

"What's going on here?" Greg bustled up to the counter. "You guys are a mess! What happened?"

"Your idiot barista just dumped my coffee all over this nice young man," she said angrily.

"Please don't call my employees idiots, ma'am," Greg said. "Kurt, Sebastian? Someone want to tell me what happened?"

Kurt's mind raced. He had just finished cashing out the last person in line, when he turned to deliver their cup to Sebastian. Who inexplicably was crouching on the floor, spitting into someone's coffee. It took him a minute to even believe his eyes, when he saw Sebastian hand the cup over to a customer, that woman with the…issues, smiling away like he hadn't just _spit in her coffee_. Running on pure instinct, he'd smacked the cup out of the customer's way, dousing both Sebastian and himself. He didn't know what to say to Greg; he only knew if he said what Sebastian had done, the other boy would be fired immediately. Sebastian was looking at Kurt, and pretty much the whole coffee house was staring with open mouths at the spectacle his shift had become.

"It was my fault," said Kurt, thinking quickly. "I…uh, thought I got her order wrong, and I was just trying to catch Sebastian before he gave it to her. I got a little carried away, and knocked into him much harder than I intended. I'm so sorry, Greg."

"It's okay, Kurt," said Greg, looking relieved. "You guys go clean up, grab a couple of clean shirts from the office." He turned to the woman, who was still glaring at Kurt with murderous eyes. "I'm very sorry, ma'am," he said. "I'll refund your money, and get you another coffee right away. I'll also give you a couple of free drink coupons for your trouble. I really apologize."

While the customer huffed, acting as put out as if the coffee had been dumped on her, Sebastian just stood there and gaped at Kurt. Kurt rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's get some fresh shirts," he said, taking Sebastian's wrist and tugging him along to the office. Once in Greg's tiny office, Kurt dropped Sebastian's wrist and spun around. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he said. "What would ever possess you to spit in that drink?"

"She's a bitch," Sebastian pointed out, as if the answer should have been obvious.

Kurt goggled in disbelief. "Well, no shit," he said. "It doesn't matter how horrible she is. You can't spit in someone's drink, Sebastian. Not ever." He could absolutely not believe Sebastian needed to be specifically instructed that it was not an acceptable thing to do.

"Why not?" asked Sebastian. "She deserved it. She shouldn't get away with treating you like that, just because you like dick."

Kurt didn't know which he was having a harder time absorbing; that Sebastian still didn't seem to think he'd done anything wrong, or that he'd done what he did because someone had treated Kurt badly. Both were beyond his grasp, but only one was a practical matter, so he addressed that. "I'm not saying what she did was okay," he said. "Or that I wouldn't enjoy it if she accidentally tripped and fell on her ass on the way out of the shop or something. But you can't intentionally cause harm to customers, no matter what they say or do."

"How was I harming her?" Sebastian said, shrugging. "She wouldn't even know about it, and it's not like I can actually make her sick from it."

"Oh my God, are you really that clueless about basic human decency?" asked Kurt, stunned. "You don't put your body fluids into another person without their permission. Jesus!" He threw up his hands, going into the small cabinet where he knew Greg kept the uniform supply. He grabbed out two shirts, tossing one at Sebastian. "Besides, it's just gross. And what if you'd been caught? Do you know what would happen if word got around that we spit in people's coffee? I know you don't care about anyone except yourself, but this place is Greg's whole life, and some of us actually need our jobs here. What you did could cause a health department investigation, and wouldn't _that_ be great for business?" It had been a long time since Kurt had really let his temper fly, and he was a little startled at how good it felt to blow up at someone for a change.

"All right, all right," groused Sebastian. He whipped off his wet shirt. "Calm down before you bring your period on."

"Shut up," said Kurt, trying very hard not to notice what an impressive chest Sebastian had. What seemed like acres of golden skin stretched over rippled taut muscles, and there was a scattering of disturbingly lickable dark freckles across it.

"Look, whatever," said Sebastian, apparently in no hurry to change into the other shirt. "It just pissed me off, okay? I get it, I won't do it again."

"You'd better not," said Kurt. "The only reason you still have a job is because I covered for you out there. I won't do that again." He took his own shirt off, no longer able to stand the clammy wetness clinging to his skin. Sebastian was probably going to make some rude comment about how pale and girly he was, but really, he just did not give a crap. Kurt just wanted to finish off his shift and get home. Blaine was supposed to be meeting him there for a Gene Kelly movie marathon, and hopefully a brisk mutual hand job. It had been nearly a month since they had been intimate with each other, his work and both of their moodiness seeming to always get in the way. Neither he nor Blaine were that highly sexed, which most of the time Kurt was grateful for. He knew from his friends that vastly different libidos could cause big problems in a relationship. But even without the incessant sex drive of the usual teenage boy, Kurt did get frustrated and needy after more than thirty days in a row with nothing but his own hand to get him off.

When Sebastian didn't say anything insulting, he looked up from where he was putting his arm into the new, clean polo. Instead of sneering at the pallid planes of his chest, Sebastian looked…well, very surprised. And there was a hot spark in his eyes, that Kurt was shocked to recognize as want. It was faint, but it was there, unmistakably. Kurt flushed, feeling his pulse get a little faster. No one ever checked him out, other than Blaine early on in their relationship, and even those looks had been more adoring than aroused. There was Chandler, of course, who had made no secret of his interest; but his flirting has been more playful, almost puppy-dog like. Sebastian looked…serious. _Hungry_.

To say that Kurt didn't look anything shirtless like Sebastian had expected would have been a rather large understatement. He knew from how Kurt filled out his shirts that the other boy couldn't be too soft or doughy, but he hadn't suspected how firm and toned he was in reality. Instead of pink, feminine nipples, Kurt's were medium-sized and café au lait colored. And he had body hair. Not a lot of chest hair, just a few fine wisps in the center of his chest. But when Kurt had raised his arms to lift off his shirt, Sebastian saw the silky dark hair of his underarms, and the neat ebony treasure trail that started under the shallow cup of his navel, then disappeared into the waistband of his pants. Starved for the sight of beautiful, warm boy flesh within touching distance, Sebastian forgot for a moment who he was ogling, and just admired the sight. There was really nothing not to like, and his fingers itched to make contact.

The air between them was charged and heavy, and Kurt felt vague pulling sensation, like he was a piece of debris that had floated into Sebastian's orbit. He realized he was tempted to reach out, to test the muscles of Sebastian's amazing abs and see it they were as hard and unforgiving as they looked with his fingers. The thought was so shocking, so forbidden, that he could just brush his fingers against skin and sinew that didn't belong to his boyfriend, he sucked in a breath at it. And at the sound of that soft gasp, the spell between them was instantly broken.

Both boys turned away from each other quickly, donning their shirts. They could hear the rasp of each other's zippers as they tucked their polos neatly into their pants, and it only seemed to add to the awkwardness. Hazarding a glance at Kurt, Sebastian saw that while he was once again completely clothed, there was a faint blush riding high on his cheekbones, and his normally perfect hair was mussed. Sebastian himself felt uncomfortably warm and kind of off-center. Getting a little turned on by someone he'd written off as grotesque months ago was a new experience for him. Kurt looked at him briefly before lowering his eyes to the floor. Sebastian felt like he needed to say something, but wasn't sure what. He took a breath, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. "I won't do anything like that again," he repeated, this time feeling a lot more sincere about it. "It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I still think she deserved it. But I get what you're saying. It won't happen again." He paused. "I don't really run into that kind of thing very often, so I guess I don't know how to deal with it. Sometimes I forget what assholes people can be about the gay thing. I guess I should know better, though, after what happened to Dave Karofsky."

Kurt's head whipped up, his eyes wide and for some strange reason, with guilt in their depths. He looked like he was going to respond, but instead just pressed his lips closed and nodded in silent agreement.

"How's he doing, anyway?" asked Sebastian, realizing he was genuinely curious. Dave had never again returned to Scandals, removing himself from Sebastian's radar screen entirely.

"What makes you think I would know?" said Kurt, looking away again.

"I went to see him in the hospital," Sebastian said. "I didn't know the guy hardly at all, but it seemed like the thing to do. I'm not much in the hand-holding department, and it was all really weird. He told me not to worry about it, or feel like I had to be concerned. He said what I said to him was just a drop in the bucket, and that it didn't matter anyway, because you were going to help him. He was going to be fine, so I could leave with a clear conscience, if that was what I was after. And basically, I guess it was, so I did. I haven't seen or heard of him since, so I just wondered."

Kurt closed his eyes, feeling a ball of shame well up in his chest. "I don't know how he's doing," he admitted. "I haven't spoken to him for a long time."

"Did something happen?" asked Sebastian. "Did he like, freak out on you or something?"

"No," Kurt said. "I just…I never helped him, like I said I would. I didn't follow through." Kurt had never really talked about it before, about how badly he'd dropped the ball with David. Only a few people even knew he'd even made the offer. And when he did try to talk to Blaine or his dad about it, they both brushed it off, insisting that Kurt shouldn't have felt obligated in the first place. "Right after, Quinn got into a terrible car accident, and was paralyzed. It was temporary, but we didn't know that at the time. And after that, everything got really crazy." Kurt knew all he had were excuses, and lame ones at that in retrospect. But it helped that ball loosen in his chest a little, getting it all out. Admitting, like at a confessional, what he'd put ahead of helping David. "Finn and Rachel postponed their wedding, and there was drama over that. We were prepping for NYADA as often as we could, rehearsing again and again until we were hoarse. And there was stuff with Blaine too. His brother showed up, and they didn't get along very well. Prom was in there too, with me worried that I'd be humiliated again, and some people boycotting the whole thing. The head of the prom committee banned hair gel, which almost gave Blaine a nervous breakdown." He risked a look at Sebastian, who seemed rather neutral in the face of Kurt's ramblings.

"I did think about it, but there always seemed to be something else to do. And then after graduation, when everything had settled down, and I didn't get into NYADA, I realized that weeks and weeks had passed and I'd never sent David so much as a text. So I called him and left a voice mail message, asking if we could get together for coffee or something, and catch up."

"So what, he never got back to you?" asked Sebastian.

"He didn't call me back," said Kurt. "But he did send me an email. He said that he didn't think it was a very good idea for us to see each other; at least, not now. He said he'd talked to his therapist about it, and she was concerned. It wouldn't have been a problem if I'd gotten in touch with him earlier, but he'd made a lot of progress, and the therapist was worried that me coming into the picture all this time later might cause some kind of setback, or regression." Kurt swallowed, the sting from reading those words on his laptop screen still present. "David said he didn't know if he agreed with her, but that he was going to take her advice. He didn't want me to feel bad, or be offended. But he said she had helped him to realize that he had to take care of himself first, because no one else was going to."

"Well, he's right about that," said Sebastian mildly. "I mean, it was shitty of you to make a promise like that and then disappear. But the world is full of shitty people doing shitty things to each other. If he's ever going to really be okay, he needs to figure out how to handle that without, you know, doing anything drastic."

"That's not the point," said Kurt, tears rising to eyes. "I shouldn't have been so selfish, so self-involved. I'm sorry that I left him in the lurch, with people he thought were his friends harassing him, and a mother who believed, maybe still believes, that he needs to be cured instead of loved and supported. I have a whole lot of regrets about the past year, Sebastian," Kurt said, choking up. "But that's one of my biggest ones."

"Your regret doesn't really have anything to do with him," Sebastian pointed out. He'd never been a fan of self-reproach, personally. "He's getting his shit together. Seems like that's the important thing. Maybe one of these days he'll want to sit down with you, and you can have a go at telling him how sorry you are for as long as you want. But until then, martyring yourself over it doesn't seem to be doing anything except helping you throw yourself a lame, depressing pity party that's a lot more about you than him. Seems like kind of a waste of energy to me." Sebastian shrugged, glad that the discussion had shaken off his peculiar feelings about the state of Kurt's body and emotions. "We should get back out there," he said.

Kurt stared as Sebastian sauntered out the door. His feelings were no less confused; in fact, after the whole shirtless thing, he was pretty sure things might be even more confusing. But Kurt knew Sebastian was right about one thing, that it was time to go out there and do his job. He could sort it all out later, maybe even try to talk to about it Blaine again. He could explain to him that he didn't need someone to tell him none of it was his fault, he just needed someone to _listen_ to him. Squaring his shoulders, Kurt left the office, not wanting to be far behind Sebastian in case Greg noticed.

Three hours later, Kurt was finished with his shift and ready to go home. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and when he was safely stopped at a red light, he took it out and glanced at it. It was a text from Blaine. _At your house. Finn let me in but left. Text me when you're on your way._ He put the phone down as soon as the light turned green, continuing the trip to his house. His parents were in DC, and Finn was gone. The hand job was looking even more likely, and if Finn was going to be out for most of the night, they could even do more. Kurt's blood started to hum, as he pictured them actually taking the time to undress completely, to touch and taste each other's bare skin, to make as much noise as they wanted to. He couldn't even remember the last time they'd done that, and he found himself suddenly, unbearably excited. Kurt thought the lick of desire he'd felt in Greg's office with Sebastian had been extinguished, but apparently it had only been banked, flaring up again even brighter and stronger as he approached his house.

Kurt pulled into the driveway, feeling like he wanted this time between him and Blaine to be different, maybe a little more exciting or unexpected. Maybe he wouldn't text Blaine back, maybe he'd just sneak into the house and throw open his bedroom door, tackle his boyfriend into the bedsheets and ravish him. _Spontaneous_ , Kurt thought. _Just like he wanted that night at Scandals_. Wanting to make sure Blaine was really, truly surprised, he picked up his phone and quickly replied to Blaine's text. _Just leaving work now. Sorry to be late. Please stay right where you are, I miss you._ Stowing his phone in his pocket, he grinned, flipping down the mirrored visor and tousling his hair artfully _._ This way, even if Blaine heard the faint noises of Kurt sneaking up the stairs, he'd dismiss them as the house settling or something.

 _I'll give you spontaneous, Blaine,_ he thought heatedly. _I'll give you the surprise of your life, my love._

Kurt entered his house as quietly as he could, holding his breath as he ascended the staircase. He crept down the hall to his door, grasping the knob and twisting is as slowly as he could. When it would turn no further, he edged the door open, his heart racing and the extra blood pumping south to firm his dick. He felt hot and predatory, and was absolutely convinced he and Blaine were in for the best sex of their entire relationship.

But when the door was fully opened, and he saw what his boyfriend was doing, it was like he'd been doused with a bucket of cold water. The beginnings of his erection died instantly, and lust was replaced with betrayal so quickly it was physically painful. Instead of the sultry greeting he'd been planning, a broken query slipped uncontrollably from his lips. "What are you doing, Blaine?" he asked, in a trembling voice, unable to believe his eyes for the second time that day.

Blaine jumped a mile and slapped the lid of Kurt's laptop down, but it was too late. Kurt had already seen the evidence all too clearly, since Blaine had been sitting on the bed with his back to the door, the computer screen revealing all. While Kurt had been creeping upstairs and easing open his bedroom door with the greatest of care, Blaine had apparently been busily scrolling through the browser history on Kurt's laptop.

Blaine sat frozen, his upper half twisted around to face Kurt. "What are you doing here?" he said, obviously panicked. "You just said you were leaving work a couple of minutes ago!"

Kurt ignored his question. He had a horrible sense of déjà vu, back to the time when he'd come into his room to see Blaine going through his phone. "You first," he said, angrily. "What were you doing on my computer?" When Blaine opened his mouth to answer, Kurt cut him off. "You know what? Don't bother. I saw what you were doing, I have eyes and I'm not stupid. You were snooping through the history!" His eyes narrowed. "Why?"

For a moment, Blaine looked ashamed. But then he seemed to shake it off, standing up and tossing the laptop onto the bed. He looked back at Kurt, his entire posture becoming stiff and defensive. "Maybe because I feel like there's things you're not telling me?" he flung out. "Things that maybe the person you've been dating for a year and a half ought to know? The person you say you love?" He pointed at the laptop. "You've been looking at colleges again, Kurt. Out of state ones. You said you just wanted to try community college here in Lima, but you've been googling four-year schools all over the country!"

Kurt was shocked. Blaine being upset over another guy texting him was understandable. After all, he hadn't exactly tried to hide his delighted reactions to Chandler's texts in Blaine's presence. In what was hardly his finest hour, he'd wanted his boyfriend to be jealous, to suspect that someone else wanted him. But this was a whole other level of invasiveness. Every Lifetime Movie he'd ever watched flashed through his mind. _Controlling._ The voice in his head was back, but this time instead of scaring Kurt, it comforted him. Even if it was just imaginary, even if he was going nuts, it made him feel less alone and vulnerable in this terrible situation. _It's controlling, and it's_ _ **not**_ _okay._ "Are you saying I have to report everything I look at on the internet to you?" he asked.

"Of course not!" said Blaine, as if the idea were ridiculous. "I'm talking about what's in your head, Kurt. I should know if you're thinking about moving away for school again, you know."

Kurt listened to the words, feeling sick. Not only because of what Blaine was saying, but because there was a part of him wanting to leap up and apologize, to beg forgiveness for keeping Blaine in the dark. But another part of him, one that was getting stronger by the day, blocked the weakness with little effort. Kurt was tired of always backing down, and always taking the blame. It had gotten him nowhere, and made both him and Blaine unhappy in the long run. Things needed to change, and it looked like, terrifying or not, this was the moment to finally do it.

"Just because you're my boyfriend, it doesn't mean I have to tell you everything I'm thinking," said Kurt, amazed at how calm he was. It was like someone else was speaking for him, and he was just watching from the sidelines, in awe of their confidence. "Even in a relationship, people deserve privacy. You violated that tonight, Blaine. And it's not the first time."

Blaine gasped, outrage streaming from every pore. "Can you blame me?" he said, voice rising to just short of a yell. "This isn't some small thing, any more than the cheating was. Shouldn't you want to tell me if you're thinking about leaving me again?"

"You're right, I should have wanted to tell you that," Kurt agreed. Blaine's tension decreased visibly. _He's expecting me to say I was wrong_ , thought Kurt. _He's waiting for an apology. Despite our problems, I really do know you too well, Blaine._ "But I think that's the problem, really. I should have wanted to tell the person I love, and who loves me, that I'm starting to let myself dream again. But I didn't want you to know that about me."

Blaine's eyes widened with surprise and hurt. "But why?" he asked, much more quietly than before. He seemed so honestly puzzled, it made Kurt's heart clench with emotion.

"Because I didn't want it to start all over again," Kurt answered, honestly. "You being mad that I'm happy about something that takes me away from you, and me resenting that you can't be happy for me unconditionally. We haven't been the best together this summer as it is, and I knew bringing that back into the mix was hardly going to help. That's why I didn't tell you."

Blaine just stood there, and Kurt could tell he was at a loss as to what to say or do. Conversations like this were not a frequent occurrence in their relationship. Kurt said nothing, letting his words sink in, and counting the moments until, predictably, Blaine went into back-pedal mode. "Okay," he said gently, coming closer to Kurt for the first time since the fight started. "It's okay, I understand. I just love you so much, Kurt, it kills me to think of being without you. We'll be all right, though." He smiled softly. "We always are."

Kurt took Blaine's hand, tears beginning to burn his eyes. "No, Blaine," he said. "We won't. We won't be okay if we just keep glossing over things and pretending everything is fine. It's not fine, and it hasn't been for a long time." Kurt took a deep breath, tightening his grip on Blaine's hand. "The last time we tried to get things out in the open, we managed to do it, but we never worked through any of those things, not really. And they haven't gone anywhere, because we didn't. I still hate feeling like I'm playing second fiddle to you all the time. I resent that you got more solos than me, even though you had another year in glee club and this was my last chance. It made me angry that you talked to Sebastian behind my back, and that you never told him to shove it when he insulted me right in front of you."

Blaine pulled his hand away. "I told you, those conversations were-"

"Family friendly, I remember," Kurt said. "Blaine, I've been working with Sebastian for nearly a month. If he's capable of having a family friendly conversation in private, it's news to me."

"So this is all my fault?" said Blaine, starting to tear up. "I've been a terrible boyfriend to you, is that it?"

"No," said Kurt. "We're both in this, and we've both screwed up. I shouldn't have pressured you into transferring, and I should have realized you were only doing it for me, no matter what you said. I just wanted to spend this past year with you so much, I didn't really think about what was best for you. But most of all, I shouldn't have let us get into the habit of avoiding problems when they came up. I had every chance to tell you when I was upset, or unhappy, and I didn't. I talked to Rachel, Finn, Mercedes…everyone but the one person I should have been talking to. You deserved a chance to explain yourself, but instead I shoved it all down inside of me almost every time. I shouldn't have been so afraid that talking about the bad things would make us break up. I should have had more faith in you than that. More faith in us."

He could see that Blaine now knew where this was going, and tears began to drip down both of their cheeks. "Please Kurt," he said. "Don't do this. We could fix things."

"If we'd had this conversation a long time ago, maybe," said Kurt. "But we spent the whole school year putting _being_ in a relationship ahead of the actual relationship itself. And even though I love you, Blaine, I really, really do…when I think about not being together with you anymore, what scares me the most is being alone. Not so much being without you, but being single again. And I think if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit you feel the same way about me."

"No," said Blaine, backing away as shaking his head. "This is you, Kurt." Kurt's heart broke; he had hoped that Blaine would have been aware enough to see what was happening between them, but the denial they'd both clung to for so long obviously still had a strong hold on him. "This is you, breaking us up. Don't you dare try to put this on me! I don't want to break up with you, I don't want this!" Blaine was openly crying now, gasping with sobs.

"I know," said Kurt, trying to keep his own weeping at bay, trying to be the strong one in the face of Blaine's devastation. "But we keep hurting each other, and we're going to keep hurting each other. It's not good for either of us."

"I don't care!" cried Blaine.

 _But he should_ , thought Kurt, not saying the words aloud because he knew Blaine wasn't in a place where he would hear them. _He should care about himself more than that, and me too. The fact that he doesn't…well, it's just more proof I'm doing the right thing, ending it. Even though it feels like the most horrible thing I've ever done to another person._ "I'm sorry, Blaine," he said, knowing how inadequate it was. He'd never meant to cause another person so much pain, and to do it to someone he'd been in love with so deeply, someone he'd given his heart and body to and had given their own to him in turn, was crushing.

"Fuck your sorry!" screamed Blaine. He actually _screamed_ it, and Kurt was filled with anguish to see Blaine lose control so uncharacteristically. "Fuck your sorry, and fuck you, Kurt!" He pushed Kurt out of the way roughly, bounding past him towards the stairs. Kurt made no move to restrain him, and a moment later, he heard the front door slam.

Kurt crawled into his bed, fully clothed. He indulged himself in a good ten minute cry, hoping that maybe now that he'd been able to break things off with Blaine, such jags might become less frequent. He supposed that he could have called Mercedes or Tina to come over for ice cream and sympathy, but he found that he'd really rather just spend the evening alone, quietly mourning the loss of his first boyfriend and lover. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he winced as he drew it out, hoping like hell it wasn't from Blaine. It wasn't.

 _Can you switch shifts with me on Saturday?_ Sebastian's text read. _Going out after work Friday night. Don't want to work the morning shift the next day._

 _OK_ Kurt typed back. It would mean having to work Friday night and then Saturday morning two weeks in a row, something that Greg tried to rotate among the employees. But knowing that he didn't have to worry about not being able to get together with Blaine after work, he'd be able to get plenty of rest for the quick turnaround. He was about to hit the send button when his fingers started moving again, as if on their own. _BTW I broke up with Blaine. Coast is clear if you're interested_. He sent the text, wondering what had possessed him to do so. Maybe it was just that it would feel more real if at least one other person knew about what had just happened. Or perhaps the thought of Blaine being pursued by Sebastian might make it a little easier to move on.

After a few minutes, longer than Kurt had anticipated, his phone buzzed again. _How many times do I have to say it, princess? You're not really my type. Flattered that you keep trying, though._

Kurt flushed. Oh God, Sebastian thought Kurt had meant himself? He was mortified, and not a little surprised that Sebastian would make that assumption. _OMG you wish_ , he typed back. _I meant Blaine, dummy._

Once again, it took much longer for Sebastian to respond than Kurt would have thought. But after nearly five minutes, his phone signaled an incoming text. _Appreciate the heads up. But I think I'll pass. 'Night, single lady._

Kurt sat looking at the text for a long time, not sure what to make of it. He felt a tiny flutter of relief that Sebastian didn't want to go after Blaine. The only problem was, he suddenly suspected that had more to do with the Sebastian side of the equation than the Blaine one. And he didn't know what to about that. Not at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go out in this chapter to Spookibibi on tumblr, for helping me with a certain French phrase. :)

By the time Friday afternoon rolled around, Sebastian was already wishing that it were ten-thirty pm, when he could close the door of the Lima Bean behind him, and move on to the night's main event. After almost four weeks without fucking, he was finally going to get laid. Normally, Sebastian preferred to do his hooking up in person; while there were many ways to do so online, he avoided it, not wanting to waste his time with anyone who might be exaggerating their charms and ending up disappointed with the real deal. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and he was sick of suffering when what he needed was only a Grindr app away. Even if he wound up with someone who had used a fake picture or something, as long as they had a cock and a pulse, he was pretty sure he could work with it. Sebastian wasn't feeling picky.

In fact, how absolutely non-picky he was these days was evidenced by the fact that he'd actually used Kurt Hummel as masturbation fodder a couple of times since seeing him shirtless in Greg's office. It wasn't that Kurt's body was _that_ amazing, but it was the first bare flesh he'd seen in person with his own eyes in a while. Sebastian wasn't the most imaginative person, and when he would jerk off, the image was easily at hand since it had been so recent. After tonight, he would blissfully fap away to the memories of this evening's encounter with Rob, a college student from Wapakoneta who enjoyed the Transformers movie series, Panda Express takeout, and giving head. Sebastian, of course, was more than happy to indulge him on the last one.

He'd already packed a change of clothes into his car earlier in the day, so wearing his Lima Bean uniform, he went downstairs to catch a few minutes of the Reds game against the Yankees before taking off. But when he walked past the kitchen, he was distracted by a delicious smell, and the sound of his mother talking to herself. Looking in the doorway, he found her as expected, putting a spoon into a stainless steel sauté pan and then tasting.

"Hmm…maybe a bit more acid," she said. "Lemon juice? Don't want it too tart, though." Another sip from the spoon. "Maybe the wine's enough on its own, but I need something drier than this white burgundy. A pinot grigio?" She picked up a pen and made a few notes in a spiral notebook on the counter.

"An Italian wine, mother?" asked Sebastian. "I'm shocked."

"Oh hush, you," said Julia, smiling. "Come here and taste this, I need another opinion."

"Like I'm ever short of those," Sebastian said, moving over and taking the spoon from his mother. In the center of the pan was an expertly seared, creamy-white piece of skinless fish, simmering in a light colored broth. "It sure looks good," he said. He took tasted the broth, closing his eyes when the bright flavors exploded on his tongue. "Oh, man, it tastes even better though. What's in it?"

"It's halibut braised in white wine, fennel and saffron broth," Julia replied. "You don't think it's unbalanced? Fennel and saffron are so strong, I don't want to overdo one or the other."

"I'm not getting hit over the head with either," said Sebastian. "I wouldn't change a thing, but then again, you're the expert."

Julia Mason-Smythe was actually somewhat of an expert when it came to cooking, particularly French cuisine. Her heritage was about as Anglo-Saxon as one could get, but her parents were avid Francophiles, who had fallen in love with everything about the country while on their European honeymoon. She had grown up with regular trips to the various regions of France, and her home was always filled with French food, wine, art and furniture. French was spoken in their house as equally as English, and she had even been named after an American woman who had become as enamored with France as her parents had - the famous chef, Julia Child. Upon retirement, Sebastian's grandparents had moved to Paris, where they lived in a beautiful apartment with a stunning view of the Seine. Sebastian was always amused that, when he would tell people he'd lived with them, they usually pictured a couple of dark haired, dusky skinned Parisians with Mediterranean blood; when in actual appearance they were both as stereotypically American as apple pie.

Sebastian was very proud of his mother's career as a cookbook author and, more recently, a food blogger. It had started ten years ago, when Julia had been on a hospital fundraising committee in Virginia. While brainstorming, another member suggested she write a small cookbook on classic French cuisine and cooking techniques, which could be sold in the hospital's gift shop. The idea was met with great enthusiasm, as everyone on the committee had been to the Smythe's dinner parties on one occasion or another, and experienced Julia's talented hand with food. The book had been picked up by an editor from New York, who was at the hospital to visit his nice after her recent surgery. He'd brought the book back home with him and shown his superiors at his publishing house, and they immediately saw the same potential he had. Seven print cookbooks later, and two years after launching her _Une_ _Gourmande Frivole_ blog, Julia was well-known and respected among the foodie crowd. She wasn't a household name like Paula Deen or Bobby Flay, but then again, she didn't have a restaurant or a television show. She'd been offered opportunities to delve into both, but preferred to keep a lower profile, to better balance her work with her responsibilities as a wife and mother. Sebastian didn't doubt, though, that his mom would have succeeded as onscreen talent if she'd gone that route. She was warm and engaging, and admittedly, a very beautiful woman (he hoped Thad still had the bruise that resulted when Sebastian overheard him refer to his mother as a MILF).

Julia was beaming happily at her son's praise, so Sebastian thought it might be a good time to bring up his plans for later in the evening. "So mom," he said, returning her smile, "I was going to go out after work tonight, if that's okay with you."

Julia's smile dimmed considerably. "Out?" she said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Nothing illegal, I promise." Sebastian said. "I've learned my lesson, believe me."

Julia was very skeptical of that, and wasn't fooled by the overly guileless expression on Sebastian's face. "Have you now?" she said, tucking a strand of light brown hair behind her ear.

"Look, it's no big deal," Sebastian said. "I'm just getting together with the guys at Nick's house. I haven't seen them in weeks because of my work schedule. We're just going to watch movies and play video games. Someone will probably spontaneously break into song, because that does happen from time to time, but that's as exciting as it'll get. I swear. You can even call his parents, they know all about it." In fact, the get together had been Sebastian's idea, and he did plan on showing up at Nick's eventually. He certainly had no interest in spending any more time with Rob than necessary; he just wanted to get his rocks off, quick and dirty, and go hang out with his friends. He really had missed them, and missed having a social life in general.

Julia considered, eyeing Sebastian in his work uniform, beseeching her with green eyes that matched her own. Something seemed a little fishy to her, but on the other hand, they really did need to start trusting their son at some point. She sighed. "You have been working a lot of hours," she admitted. "And to be honest, you've done a lot better with this job than I expected. I thought you'd try to get out of it, but you really have done everything we've asked you to do."

"It's not as bad as I thought," said Sebastian, finding the words to be quite true. "Everyone works together pretty well, and it's actually interesting sometimes. Usually the summer goes by in kind of a blur, nothing but sleeping and lying by the pool day after day. Not that I don't miss that, but it's cool that every day is different now. And sometimes at the end of a shift, even though I'm beat, I feel good too. Sort of like I do after I pass a test at school that I studied a lot for. Isn't that weird?"

"No," said Julia, laughing a little. "It's not weird at all. There's nothing strange about feeling a sense of achievement after a hard day's work. It's a shame it's taken you this long to experience it, but that's your dad and I's fault, not yours. You might have been lazy, Sebastian, but we let you get away with it."

"Well, you certainly can't accuse me of being lazy now," said Sebastian playfully. "I even got five hours of overtime this week. And you know what?" His voice rose a little in excitement. "When I work overtime, I get paid time and a half! It's really great of Greg to do that."

Julia looked at Sebastian strangely, then burst into laughter. "Honey, I'm glad you like your boss," she said, at his questioning look. "But paying you a premium for anything over forty hours is the law. He has to do it, or he could get into trouble with the Department of Labor." She shook her head, amazed again at how little her son knew about how the world worked. But then again, that was also her and Stephen's fault, wasn't it? "In any case," she said, "no, I can't call you lazy any more. I'm actually very proud of you, and I wasn't sure how long it would be before I felt that again, after last month."

"Mom, you know I'm sorry about all that." Sebastian said.

"I know you're sorry you got caught," Julia said pointedly. When Sebastian winced, she gentled her tone a bit. "Sebastian, I'm not saying your dad or I were perfect when we were teenagers. We did some dumb things, and got in trouble with our own parents."

"Like what?" Sebastian asked.

"Oh please," Julia responded, rolling her eyes. "Like I'm giving you that ammunition. But you can ask your grandparents next time you see them. I'm sure they'd love to wax poetic about my adolescent misadventures." She jovially poked Sebastian in the ribs. "Just like I'll do with your kid, if you have one someday."

"How mature," Sebastian said kiddingly.

"Hey, it's one of the perks of being a parent. But seriously," she said, getting back to the original subject, "the point I'm making is that, while we did some stupid things, it was never on the level of what you did. At least, not all at the same time. That was a whole lot of stupid for a single evening, you know."

"I know," said Sebastian. While he didn't regret most of the things he did, he did feel bad about disappointing his parents. If only he'd been able to keep them in the dark about his wilder side. There were certain things you just didn't want your mom and dad to know about you.

Julia looked at her son, unable to keep the fondness from bubbling up. She loved Sebastian so much. It had always filled her with pride that she'd raised such a smart, witty, handsome and talented young man. No matter how many cookbooks she sold, or visitors her blog, her son would always be her greatest and most wonderful accomplishment. But he sure didn't make parenting easy, and never had. "When we've tried to warn you about things like drinking and drugs, it's not because we enjoy nagging you," she said. "We just want to prevent you from getting mixed up with things that will inevitably lead to trouble." Sebastian looked down, and she waited until he met her eyes again before continuing. "But you know, you've always been the kind of person who has to find things out the hard way. Maybe you always will be. I wish I could protect you from the resulting pain that accompanies that approach, because I'm your mother and I love you. Making you get a job and pay us back was a punishment, true, but it was more about trying to show you that your actions have consequences. Because no matter what you do with your life, Sebastian, that's a universal truth you can't escape."

Sebastian looked at her soberly. "I don't know what to say," he admitted. "I'm sorry I upset you guys. I hate doing that."

"You don't have to say anything," Julia said. "Just think about it, okay? You're the most important thing in our lives, and we just want you to be safe and happy. She held out her arms, and Sebastian went into them easily. Her tight embrace was returned, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek as they separated. "So with that in mind, have a good time tonight. Will you be spending the night at Nick's?"

"I'll play that by ear," Sebastian said. "Thanks mom. Really, thank you so much. I _really_ need this tonight." And God, did he ever. If he didn't get some serious penis on penis action soon, he was going to go crazy. He shook the thought off, though, because thinking about sex when his mother was looking at him adoringly was off-putting even to him.

When he got to The Lima Bean, he wasn't surprised to see that it was already getting busy. An open mic was being held, which was always a big draw. But in addition, business had been up in the evenings due to the heat wave that seemed to be hovering over the entire country. But unlike in areas that were used to such heat, air conditioning was not found in every house in Lima. People were escaping to the movies, restaurants and yes, The Lima Bean, just to get some relief from the sweltering temperatures. Sebastian didn't think he'd ever seen one hundred degrees on his car's dashboard thermometer before that day.

He quickly donned his apron, and wrote his name in on the sign-in sheet. He saw that Kurt was on drinks, and Angela was on register. Sebastian hadn't known quite what to make of Angela at first; she was around his age, but although she was pleasant and polite, she seemed distant, and there was something in her eyes that made her look older than she was. When Sebastian asked Kurt about it, he was told that Angela had gone to McKinley and had been in the same grade as Kurt, though they were never friends. Angela had not graduated with Kurt, however. She had gotten pregnant by her boyfriend over the previous summer, and dropped out in March, just before her baby was born. All Kurt knew was that she had had a baby boy named Marshall, she lived with her parents, and that the boyfriend was no longer in the picture. Other than that, she never spoke about her personal life, limiting conversations during slow periods to neutral topics like work, or the weather. But it didn't look like there would be much chance for even that sort of inane conversation, the way the shop was filling up.

"Is Greg in the back?" Sebastian asked, approaching Kurt.

Kurt jumped a little, looking up at Sebastian somewhat uncomfortably. They hadn't worked together since the spitting incident, and it was obvious that Kurt was feeling off-kilter. "No, he took the night off, believe it or not."

"On a Friday night?" asked Sebastian, very surprised. Greg was always at the shop during their busiest times. "Did someone die?"

Kurt had wondered if it would be weird the first time they saw each other after the…whatever it was, in Greg's office. Sebastian seemed perfectly normal, but Kurt was finding it difficult to keep his eyes from not darting down to the other boy's torso. He was embarrassed to acknowledge, even to himself, that Sebastian had crept into his dreams more than once that week. Kurt tried to cut himself some slack, telling himself that it was the result of an extended period of sexual frustration, made even worse by how worked up he'd gotten prior to finding Blaine going through his laptop in his bedroom. And it was impossible not to admit that shirtless was hardly a bad look for Sebastian. Kurt couldn't deny the attractiveness of his bare chest, even if it was attached to one of the most awful people Kurt had ever had the misfortune to meet.

But when Sebastian had asked if Greg's absence was due to a death in the family, Kurt startled himself by laughing. He too had said the same thing when Greg informed him earlier in the day. "Actually, no." he said. "He has a date tonight."

"Greg dates?" asked Sebastian, taking a cup from Angela and moving over to the blender to make a frappe. He dumped a scoop of ice in from the bin, adding a few syrups and skim milk to top it off. "I know I haven't been here long, but I got the impression from everyone here that he was married to The Bean."

"I think he always has been," replied Kurt, continuing to fill hot drink orders. He didn't mind telling Sebastian the backstory; even Angela had cracked a genuinely happy smile when he'd filled her in. "You know Pam? Redhead, comes in almost every day after work, usually still in her scrubs?"

Sebastian searched his memory, and a cheerful face popped into his head. "Medium half-caf toffee nut latte with one percent?"

"That's her," Kurt affirmed, grudgingly impressed by Sebastian's recall of her regular order. "She and Greg are always looking at each other and blushing when they chat at the register."

"I noticed," said Sebastian. He'd have had to be blind not to. He'd even pointed it out to his boss once, who had demurred, insisting that she was just being a nice, courteous customer. _Well, if you ever want to hit that, I think she'd climb you like a tree_ , Sebastian had thought, but wisely kept his opinion to himself.

"Megan was there when it happened, she told me all about it," said Kurt. "I guess Pam came back to the register after having gotten her drink, looking miffed. Greg asked if there was anything wrong, and she said there was something in her coffee that he needed to see. He asked her if there was a problem, and she said 'Well, let's just say it's something I hope you have an answer for.' So he opened the lid, thinking it might be a bug or something, but the cup was empty except for a folded up piece of paper in it. Greg took it out, turned bright red and couldn't string three words together according to Megan. By that time, Pam was smiling, and Megan said Greg was too, and he said 'Yes.' Then Pam left."

"Did he show the note to Megan?" asked Sebastian?

"Yeah," answered Kurt. "It read _Will you go out with me on Friday?_ with her phone number underneath." He smiled broadly. "I guess she got tired of waiting for him to ask her. But it was a really sweet way of her to go about it."

Sebastian didn't comment, not being much on the giving or receiving end of grand romantic gestures himself. But Greg was a great guy, and a good boss, and Sebastian found himself genuinely happy that he was out with a woman for possibly the first time in years. _Looks like getting some is in the air tonight_ , he thought. _That chick's probably not nearly the sure thing that my suitor for the evening is, but maybe Greg will get to second base at least._ The thought had him smiling as widely as Kurt, and when he looked at him, he realized they were grinning at each other like idiots. Sebastian immediately turned away and busied himself with the blender again.

 _And we're back to awkward again_ , thought Kurt. He accepted another cup from Angela and set about filling orders as quickly as he could. The three of them worked as smoothly together as possible to keep the customers happy. The open mic started, and the coffee house was filled with the sounds of singing and instruments, with the occasional spoken word performance. Some of the participants were extremely good, and it wasn't unusual for some of the New Directions to show up for a song or two. If any of them were there that night though, Kurt missed them entirely. The hours passed in a blur of cups, coffee, the whir of the blender and the beep of the cash register.

Around eight-thirty, Kurt started to feel very warm, and noticed that he was starting to sweat. He looked into the crowd, and saw that several people were fanning themselves with magazines and their hands. He went over to the wall where the thermostat was, but instead of the usual sixty-eight degrees, the LCD display read seventy-six degrees. _Oh shit._ He went back over to the counter, tugging on both Angela and Sebastian's shirts to get their attention. "I think there's something wrong with the a/c," Kurt said in a low voice. "It's nearly ten degrees warmer in here than it should be."

"Should we call Greg?" asked Angela, looking worried.

"No way," said Kurt vehemently. "He never takes a night off. We're not ruining that for him, unless there's no other option." He looked to Sebastian, who gave him a small nod of agreement. "I'm going to go out back and take a look at the unit, see if I can see what the problem is. You guys hold down the fort. If anyone asks about the air, tell them we're looking into it."

Grabbing a flashlight from Greg's office, Kurt went out the back door to where the large commercial air conditioning unit was. In the past, when he'd gone by it to empty trash into the dumpster, his ears had been assaulted by its loud whirring noise. But tonight, it was completely, ominously silent. Kurt liked the unit over as best he could, but he didn't see anything obvious like the wiring severed, or something plugging up the vents. It had simply stopped working for no visible reason. Kurt was sure only an HVAC technician would be able to correctly diagnose the problem. He went back into the Lima Bean, where it was still much cooler than the outside, but not exactly the blast of chilled air he was used to.

"What's the deal?" asked Sebastian, when Kurt returned to the counter.

"The unit's dead," said Kurt. "It's not making any noise at all."

" _Now_ can we call Greg?" Angela said.

"What would be the point?" said Kurt. "That thing needs to be looked at by a professional repairman, and he's not going to be able to get one in here until the morning no matter when he finds out about it. All it's going to do is ruin his date with Pam, and I for one am not going to let that happen." He folded his arms stubbornly.

"It's going to get really hot in here, especially with all these people." Sebastian said. "They're going to start bitching about it sooner or later."

"Then we'll let them know, and they can decide whether or not they want to leave." Kurt said firmly. "It's less than two hours until closing anyway." With a toss of his head, he turned around and marched over to the microphone, which was being unused at that moment. "Excuse me," he said, "Can I have everyone's attention please?"

"Hey, the barista's gonna sing!" someone shouted.

"Go Kurt!" yelled another.

"No, no," said Kurt, flushing. "No singing from me tonight." There were a few scattered boos, which made his cheeks even redder. "Listen, you guys have probably noticed that it's getting a little warm in here. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but our air conditioning is out for the night." There were even more boos at that announcement, and Kurt was hoping no one would throw a coffee cup or half eaten muffin at him. "We'll stay open until ten as usual, though I can understand if you'd rather leave. But if you stick around," he said, in a burst of inspiration that he hoped Greg wouldn't mind the next day, "all cold drinks are twenty percent off." This time instead of boos, there was some scattered cheering, so Kurt stepped away from the mic. Although it looked like a lot of people were gathering their things and preparing to leave, more than a few were settling in, or heading over to the counter. The next performer, a brunette girl of about twenty with her hair in braids and holding an acoustic guitar headed to where Kurt had just been, and began singing a soulful rendition of Jessie J's "Price Tag".

Over the next hour, there developed an inverse relationship between the rising temperature inside The Lima Bean, and the number of customers who were willing to stay around for discount drinks. Despite the fact that it was nearly nine-thirty pm, the temperature had only dropped outside to ninety-six degrees. With the door constantly being opened by people leaving, and also those coming in and turning right back around when they realized there was no a/c, the inside of the coffee house was in the mid-eighties. There were only five or six people left by that time, but they didn't seem like they were going anywhere until they were kicked out at closing. Kurt, Sebastian and Angela tried to do as much cleanup as they could, but there was only so much you could accomplish with customers in the store. Still, Kurt didn't see any reason for all three of them to be there at that point, and Angela looked just about dead on her feet.

"Hey Angela?" said Kurt.

The girl turned around listlessly, with a sigh. Like him and Sebastian, her hairline was dark with sweat, and there were damp patches all over her uniform shirt. They were all pretty miserable at that point, but Angela just seemed drained. "Yeah, Kurt?" she said.

"Why don't you get out of here?" he said, completely missing how Sebastian's head whipped around at his words. "Sebastian and I can take care of the rest. You go home and get into some cooler clothes, okay? Do your parents have air conditioning?"

Angela's face lit up a little. "Yes, they do," she said. "Just a couple of window units, but..."

"Better than here, I bet," said Kurt. "Go ahead, we've got this. Right Sebastian?" There was silence, so he turned to look, and was taken aback by the glare being shot his way. He frowned. "Right?" he repeated.

"Oh, absolutely," said Sebastian. His facial expression did not match his affirmation, though. He was looking at Kurt like he'd like to strangle him.

"Well, if you're sure," said Angela.

"Very sure," said Kurt, turning back to her. "I'll tell Greg all about it in the morning. If he doesn't want to pay you, he can take it out of my check. But you know Greg, he's pretty good about that kind of thing."

"Thanks," Angela said, untying her apron and wiping her forehead with it. "Thanks so much, Kurt. You too, Sebastian."

"A thousand welcomes," said Sebastian acerbically.

Kurt wanted to say something about his rudeness, but held off. They were both hot and irritable, which would hardly improve their usual bitchy dynamic. Plus, with only a few customers in the store, it was very quiet, and Kurt didn't need them overhearing the two of them trying to out-snark each other. They watched Angela escape out the door, then stood behind the counter in sullen silence until it was finally ten o'clock. Kurt nicely shooed their customers out, politely but firmly refusing to make them one more drink "for the road." Under normal circumstances, Kurt would have complied, but on that particular evening he had no problem strictly enforcing shop policy. As soon as he had them out the door and the alarm had been engaged, a loud bang sounded from behind him. He turned around to see that Sebastian was tossing the dirty stainless steel milk pitchers into the sink with way more force than needed.

 _God, what is his problem?_ thought Kurt. "Is there a reason you're making such a racket?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Sebastian, in a tone that suggested he was anything but. "Is this bothering you?" He grabbed a few spoons and flung them into the sink. "Is that better, oh benevolent dictator?" Sebastian had been getting tenser and more irritated as the night progressed. He'd never expected to need a shower between work and his rendezvous, and now he was going to have to take the time to stop home and do that, and probably be late. It also might make his parents suspicious, wondering why Sebastian was so concerned with hygiene if he was just hanging out at his friend's house after work. His sexual frustration fed his anger, like shoving newspaper into a fire. If Kurt fucking Hummel had screwed up his chance to get laid tonight, Sebastian was going to set his goddamn car on fire.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," said Kurt, his own ire rising.

"Oh really?" said Sebastian. He pointed his finger at Kurt. "Who died and put you in charge? Stopping us from calling our real boss? Keeping the place open with no a/c, even encouraging people to stick the fuck around with cheap drinks? Telling Angela she can go home? What makes you think you can tell me what to do?" His volume increased with each question, ending in a shout.

Kurt stared, stunned by the volley of furious questions. "Are you seriously having a temper tantrum over this?" he asked. "What are you, five?"

"Fuck you!" Sebastian yelled. "Unlike you and Angela, who have no place to be except your sad little houses, I have plans tonight. I would have loved to get an early start on them. Why send _her_ home?"

"Because she was exhausted, you moron," said Kurt, now yelling himself. "Are you actually questioning why I sent home a single mother, who, when she gets home, will have a whole other job waiting for her? Who shows up on time and works her ass off, even though she's probably up half the night with a kid who most likely doesn't sleep through yet?"

"That's her own damn fault," said Sebastian coldly. "She's the one who got herself knocked up. How does _her_ mistake become _my_ problem?"

Kurt was aghast at Sebastian's insensitivity. "You selfish bastard," he said, venom dripping from every syllable. "How dare you judge her? Neither you nor I have any idea what happened between her and her boyfriend. Who do you think you are, to act like you know enough about her life to sit in judgment of her, you spoiled brat?"

Kurt's use of the word _spoiled_ pissed Sebastian off even more. He'd heard the word from his own parents way too many times for his liking since getting arrested, and it needled him the way few others did. "Well excuse me for not being a bleeding heart for every sob story that comes around, like you. I'm not going to apologize for looking out for my own best interests. Maybe if you did that more often yourself, you wouldn't be such a pathetic mess."

Normally Sebastian's insults bounced off of Kurt as if they were made out of rubber. But that one hit a little too close to home, and it stung. "You might not feel the need to apologize for being such a heartless creep, but I'm certainly not ashamed of the fact that I have feelings and empathy inside me, instead of a massive black hole like someone else I know. For God's sake, Sebastian, what could you possibly have going on tonight, that I should have sent you home instead of Angela?"

"I have a date." said Sebatian flatly.

"A date?" repeated Kurt, not sure he was hearing correctly.

"Yes," Sebastian said, "A date. And by a date, I mean I'm getting my cock sucked." Kurt's mouth dropped open, and Sebastian continued, feeling a sudden need to see how far he could push Kurt. "And then, when I've recovered from that, I'm going to finger my _date_ open, nice and thorough, until he's literally crying for me to fill him up with my dick. I'm going to fuck him as hard as I can, until I come again, and then maybe...just maybe, mind you, I'll let him come." To his surprise, just verbalizing what he needed so badly was starting to turn him on. He was already overly warm, and he felt a heat pool in his lower stomach that was not helping.

Kurt was speechless, both at Sebastian's reasoning, and his crude description. He felt a buzzing in his ears, as heat swept through his entire body. He'd gotten mad at people before, been what he would have considered absolutely furious in the past. But the feeling bubbling up in him was different than anything he'd felt before. It was like there was something inside him clawing to get out, like he was burning up from the inside out. "You're a disgusting pig," he hissed. "Is that all you ever think about? Is that's all that's important to you? Sex?" He shook his head. "God, where did you even find someone willing to sleep with you? I thought you couldn't go out any more."

"Remember when you said I smelled like Craigslist?" said Sebastian, smirking. "Well, not that exactly, because even that's a bit below my standards. But I did make a connection, so to speak, with someone online. Someone who's just as interested in having a good time tonight as I am."

"You're going to have sex with someone you've never even met?" asked Kurt.

"That's the plan," said Sebastian, with mock cheerfulness.

Kurt had certainly had his share of friends who didn't exactly share his morals when it came to sex. Certainly listening to Puck, with all his conquests, had always been somewhat of an interesting experience for Kurt. But talking to Sebastian was like talking to someone who didn't even live on the same planet as he did. That level of promiscuity was totally outside of his schema. "You know, for someone who thinks sex is so important, you think you'd actually assign some value to it, some meaning." He didn't even try to keep the disdain out of his voice. "Instead you just give it away, as if it's worthless. As if _you're_ worthless."

Infuriatingly, Sebastian laughed. "Now who's being judgmental?" he said. "You're such a fucking hypocrite, Kurt, you know that? You think you're better than me, because you'll only screw a guy if he tells you what you want to hear first. How much he _loves_ you. Well you're not better than me, and you never will be, no matter how many strangers I fuck. You're nothing but a condescending, slut-shaming prude, and I don't give a shit _what_ you think of me."

"There's nothing wrong with believing that sex should mean something," said Kurt stubbornly, unwilling to back down.

"Just because sex _can_ mean something, doesn't mean it _has to_ mean something," Sebastian replied.

Kurt was speechless again. He'd never expected Sebastian to admit, or even think, that sex could be more meaningful than scratching an itch. He was trying to formulate a reply, when Sebastian continued.

"I'm not ashamed that I like to fuck around, and I don't let anyone else shame me, either," he said. "Who made that rule, that screwing without love or even affection makes me a terrible person? Society? Well _fuck_ society, because half of it apparently already thinks I'm a lesser being because I have sex with men. I'll do what I want, and _who_ I want, and you and everyone else can screw right the fuck off." Sebastian looked scathingly at Kurt. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to finish cleaning this place up so I can get out of here and put that into practice."

At first, Kurt just stood there, motionless and trying to process all the emotions running through him. He still felt angry and frustrated, but now he was confused as well. He didn't want Sebastian's justifications for being so easy to make sense to him, but they kind of did. He didn't want to think about why; didn't want to think that maybe what he'd been taught and believed about sex might be wrong or different, and that Sebastian Smythe, of all people, might be the one who had the right idea. Denial, his old friend, welled up inside him, fueling his self-righteousness. _He can make any excuse he wants_ , Kurt told himself. _If he wants to defend the fact that he's no better than an animal when it comes to controlling his penis, he can have at it. He may be selling, but I'm not buying it._ He got out the mop and started to clean the floors. He didn't think it was possible for him to become hotter, more uncomfortable or sweatier than he had been, but mopping a floor in the middle of a heat wave with no air conditioning was apparently just the ticket. The more miserable he got, the more indignant he was, and he became unable to shake the thought of what Sebastian was going to do later. Kurt kept getting mental flashes of damp skin, dilated eyes, moans and slapping noises; two male bodies writhing and crashing together endlessly. _It's so gross_ , he tried to tell himself, refusing to admit that there was more than a little arousal buried in his outrage.

Finishing his mopping, Kurt looked over to the counter to see what Sebastian was doing. He saw that the boy had his phone out, and was texting busily. Was he texting the guy he was hooking up with that night? Maybe they were sexting, even. Could Sebastian really not control himself until it was time to punch out? _I've got just the thing to cool you off, you pervert,_ he thought. As quietly as he could, he slipped behind the counter and reached into the ice bin, grabbing a handful.

Sebastian had just finished emptying the dishwasher, when a thought occurred to him. He took out his phone and texted Nick, asking if he could shower at his house before heading out for a while. He promised to come back as soon as he could, and bring pizza and wings to make up for it. He had just sent the text, when he felt a jerk at the back collar of his polo. Before he could react, a shocking, freezing cold sensation skated down the feverish skin of his back and settled at his waist. He yelped and turned around, only to see Kurt standing there, water dripping from his fingers, and a slightly maniacal grin on his face. "What the fuck?" he shouted, scrabbling for the hem of his shirt and pulling it out. A few small cubes of ice clattered to the floor. He looked at Kurt, whose smile hadn't faded a bit. "Did you just put ice down my shirt?" he asked.

"I was just trying to make things a little cooler for you," said Kurt, with false innocence.

"You little prick," said Sebastian, eyes narrowing. He pushed past Kurt, going over to the ice bin and taking out a double handful. "If you think you're getting away with that, you're fucking crazy." He leapt towards Kurt, but in an unexpected show of athleticism, Kurt jumped over the counter. The ice was melting, the extreme cold hurting his hands, but no way was he giving up. He was going to shove two handfuls of ice down Kurt's pants, where it would probably be frigid enough to keep the cubes frozen for hours. He walked around the back of the counter, never taking his eyes off Kurt. "You are in so much trouble," he warned.

"Not if you can't catch me," said Kurt, running to the back of the shop and bracing himself behind a table. Childishly, he stuck his tongue out at Sebastian.

"Oh, you did not even," muttered Sebastian, then took off at a run towards Kurt.

The two boys raced around the coffee shop, Sebastian coming close but never quite catching Kurt. Kurt, who had had more than his fair share of experience running away, seemed to be able to predict easily when Sebastian was going for a fake. Neither stopped to consider how irrational it was to be running around their place of employment, getting even more overheated, both now positively drenched with perspiration. Sebastian knew he had to catch Kurt before the ice melted completely, and when he saw Kurt stumble over a chair leg, he pounced.

Kurt found himself pinned under one hundred and sixty pounds of solid, sticky boy. He began trying to shove Sebastian off of him, but was distracted by the realization that there were hands at the waistband of his pants, trying to gain access. He started bucking upwards in addition to pushing with his hands, but Sebastian was both slightly larger and extremely determined.

The ice in Sebastian's hands was almost entirely melted, but there were a few slivers left, and he'd come too far to give up now. Transferring the few chips into one hand, he yanked Kurt's shirt out of his pants. His closed fist came into contact with the wet skin of Kurt's belly, the heat nearly scorching him. He sought the waistband of Kurt's khakis, trying to wedge his hand under, while at the same time trying to subdue Kurt long enough to toss the ice in. He was lost in his mission, everything around him a haze of red, the scent of clean male perspiration tickling his nose. Because of this, it took him a while to notice that Kurt's voice had gone from an outraged screech to a serious, panicked yell.

"Sebastian, _stop_!"

The clear, unmistakable distress snapped Sebastian back to reality immediately, and he stopped moving. Looking down, he saw that Kurt's blue eyes were wide and frantic. In that same moment he noticed something he couldn't believe he'd missed. A thick ridge of hard cock, a rather familiar and unmistakable shape, was pressing into his thigh. Kurt had an erection, and it only took Sebastian a second to realize that he wasn't the only one. His own dick was taut and straining, and now that it had been brought to his attention, it was all he could feel. He stared down at Kurt, trying to understand how this insanity had come about.

For once, Kurt's thoughts were tracking right alongside Sebastian's. He'd sensed he was getting hard fairly soon after hitting the floor. But when he realized that they were both erect, and that their wrestling had somehow turned sexual, Kurt had started trying to get Sebastian's attention immediately. Despite the hands working at his pants, he knew Sebastian wasn't trying for anything except icy revenge. That the pranking had turned into frotting was both unexpected and baffling.

They lay there, the minutes stretching out, panting with faces so close together they could feel the puff of each other's breath. A drop of sweat dripped from Sebastian's forehead onto Kurt's cheek, and the boy on top was riveted by the sight. Sebastian was surrounded by the heat and smell of their bodies, and unable to resist, he dropped his head and lapped the bead of perspiration up with his tongue.

Kurt moaned, hardening further. He'd never imagined that having someone lick his face would be a turn-on, but then again, this night was just full of surprises. He tried to remember where he was, and who he was beneath, but his lust was boiling up and clouding everything. He opened his eyes, hoping it would help, but instead it made it a thousand times worse.

Sebastian gazed heatedly at Kurt's face, the other boy's eyes soft and somehow confused, his lips slackened in helpless awe. Kurt was falling apart beneath him, and he could have never predicted how arousing it would be, to witness the ice queen melt into a warm puddle of need. "Kurt," he said, wanting Kurt to hear his voice; to know who it was pressing against him, reducing him to sheer want. As soon as the name finished escaping, Sebastian lowered his head again and captured Kurt's lips in a searing kiss. He used every tool in his impressive arsenal, licking, biting and sucking at Kurt's lips until they were both shaking. He began to gently, slowly rock his hips forward and back, creating a pleasurable friction. He tore his mouth from Kurt's, dancing his lips across his cheek to his earlobe, and biting down on the tender flesh once there. At Kurt's groan, he released the morsel and whispered into the delicate shell of his ear. "Say my name," he demanded. He then nibbled Kurt's earlobe in earnest, tugging with his teeth until the boy gave in.

"Sebastian!" cried Kurt, lost to sensation. His ears were extremely sensitive, a no-fail erogenous zone under any circumstances. He was rewarded for his surrender with the swipe of a hot tongue into his ear canal, and he thrust upwards helplessly in response. "Guh!"

Pleased, Sebastian explored further, trailing his lips and tongue down the side of Kurt's neck, sipping at the saltiness he found. What he wanted, what he needed was right there under him, and he increased both the pressure and speed of his hips, groaning. He sucked harder on Kurt's neck, too, when he realized it caused him to cant his hips into Sebastian's with equal fervor. He'd missed this so much, the desperate grinding of pelvises together, the feel of his cock being rubbed mercilessly against the cotton of his briefs.

Kurt had heard of people saying they felt like they were burning up while in the throes of passion. He always thought they must be exaggerating. For all Sebastian taunted him about being frigid, the truth was he'd enjoyed sex very much when he and Blaine had indulged. Particularly early on, but after the nerves had worn off, he'd reveled in the sensation of his skin dragging against Blaine's, the tastes and scents and warmth of their bodies coming together in different ways. But rutting against Sebastian, harder than he could remember being in recent memory, he finally understood what they were talking about. It was like there were flames licking at his insides, rising up to meet every point where he and Sebastian touched. He knew what it was like to be lost in the moment, particularly when climaxing, but for the first time during sex he felt completely out of control, like his body was driving the car and his brain had been left at a rest stop several exits back. It was impossible to do anything but feel and want, and God, it was _amazing_. As if on auto-pilot, his hands slipped under the hem of Sebastian's shirt, sliding through the slick sweat and digging his nails into the bunched muscles of his lower back.

"Fuck," moaned Sebastian, the word muffled against Kurt's throat. He loved it when guys used their nails, when they scratched and left red marks that took hours to fade. "Harder, do it harder," he said. Sebastian was never afraid to ask for what he wanted during sex, or to indicate his increased pleasure when his demands were met. Kurt's nails burrowed deeper, and he let out a loud, grateful moan. "Of fuck, yeah, just like that." He lifted his head from the purpling bruise he'd raised on Kurt's neck and dove for his mouth, thrusting his tongue inside and twining it with Kurt's. He could feel his thigh muscles twitching, a sure sign that his release was very near.

Kissing Sebastian was much different than kissing Blaine. It was so different, in fact, that Kurt wondered if maybe the two of them had been doing it wrong all along. Other than going off the rails and trying out girl kisses as a one time thing on both of their parts, they'd really only even made out with each other until tonight. It wasn't like Blaine's kisses were _bad_ compared to Sebastian's, they were just really different. Aggressive, seeking…toothy. Apparently those strong white teeth of Sebastian's were good for a lot more than flashing irritating, slightly douchey grins. The way they tugged on Kurt's bottom lip, that one perfect increment less than too painful, was a revelation for Kurt. His balls drew up tightly, warning him that orgasm was imminent. "Sebastian," he said brokenly, rolling his head to the side. "I think I'm gonna-" He broke off, unable to complete the sentence.

Sebastian wasn't sure if Kurt's words were supposed to be a determent, but if they were, they had the opposite effect. "Do it," he breathed hotly, directly into Kurt's ear. "Mess yourself. Be dirty and sticky and wet for me." His arms slid under Kurt's shoulder blades, his fingers curling over his shoulders and bracing there. Sebastian bucked forward forcefully, seeking both Kurt's completion as well as his own. "Come, Kurt."

Of all the things that had come as a surprise to Kurt that night, the biggest one had to be that Sebastian giving him an order was what finally pushed him over the edge. Before Sebastian had even finished saying his name, Kurt was _there_. "Uhnh!" Kurt groaned, spilling into his underwear. He kept thrusting as he rode out the waves, the hot slide of his cock though his own come drawing it out longer than any other time he could remember. Just as he became aware of his surroundings again, he heard Sebastian shout something unintelligible, and suddenly his hips were crushed into the floor by Sebastian's. _Good thing the floor's not wood_ , he thought dizzily, _probably would have gone right through into the basement, like on Buffy._

Sebastian felt the tingling rush of his seed rising. He loved a lot of things about sex, but that moment when he just _knew_ his orgasm was going to be particularly fantastic was right up there in the top five. It took only seconds for his body to follow through on the promise, pumping semen into his briefs and causing every muscle in his body to contract almost painfully. Coming against a firm, warm body was so much better than doing it into his own hand under any conditions, but after a month of celibacy it felt better than anything he could remember. He ground down against Kurt so hard, he wouldn't have been surprised if it cracked the tile beneath Kurt's ass. The pleasure roared though him like a tidal wave, leaving him gasping and utterly spent. He couldn't even move, he just lay there on top of Kurt, who surprisingly bore his weight with no complaint.

Kurt was as brain-dead as Sebastian for several minutes. As when he and Blaine would come off of a long dry spell, bone deep satisfaction rippled gently through him. But all too soon, the reality of his situation began to chase it away. His underwear was clinging to him in a now unpleasantly moist way, and his lower back hurt from being shoved into the ceramic tile. Actually, he felt sticky and sore all over, and Sebastian's previously comfortable weight was becoming stifling. And how did this work, exactly? Kurt's usual post-coital activities included snuggling, kissing and saying "I love you." He didn't have the slightest urge to do any of those things, and even if he did, he doubted Sebastian would stop laughing long enough for him to make the attempt. And why did he even have to figure it out? Sebastian was the expert, after all. Surely the other boy had elevated "rolling off some guy you just came on" to an art form by this tim. As if on cue, Sebastian began to stir, and eventually pushed up and off of Kurt.

Still a bit lightheaded, Sebastian got to his feet. He brushed off his shirt and pants, avoiding the wet spot that was starting to seep through the crotch of his khakis. The change of clothes he'd brought along seemed particularly fortuitous. He looked down at Kurt, expecting to see him curl up in a ball and start weeping about his womanly virtue. But instead, Kurt's face was a combination of irritation, bemusement and gratification. It was surprising, and kind of…cute? Sebastian shook his head. He really must have come his brains out. He found guys hot, smoking, fuck-worthy. Not _cute_. And even if he did, he certainly wouldn't apply the label to Kurt. Though he had to admit, Kurt had kept up with him on the floor in a way he could have never predicted. And his cock was fairly substantial, too. He'd teased Kurt endlessly about being a girl, but at least in one way, Kurt Hummel was all man. Who'd have thunk it? He stuck his hand out, offering it to Kurt. After a moment of hesitation, Kurt took it, and Sebastian helped pull him to his feet. "We should probably finish closing," Sebastian said.

That was it? Let's finish closing? Not _how did we go from being co-workers who barely get along to one of us having what feels like one hell of a hickey, and the other with come seeping through their pants?_ Not _hey Kurt, how does it feel to basically have sex with someone you not only don't love, but aren't even sure you like very much? You okay with that?_ But no, apparently Sebastian's main concern was who was going to take out the trash, or close out the cash drawer. _Good to know._ Quite suddenly, Kurt didn't want Sebastian anywhere near him. "Why don't you just go?" he said dismissively. "Like you wanted to earlier. I'll finish up here, and call Greg about the a/c on my way home. At least then he won't be tempted to come in, knowing we're closed for the night."

"Oh," said Sebastian. "Sure, I'll take off. Appreciate it." Like Kurt had mentioned, it was what he wanted, so why was he finding it hard to walk out the door? Even realizing he had the urge to stay was disconcerting to him, so he reached for the reason he wanted to leave in the first place. "Don't want to leave my date hanging," he said.

Kurt tried not to react. He knew Sebastian didn't care about or respect him. But no matter what Sebastian had explained earlier about how free he was with his sexuality, Kurt felt an unwanted pang of disappointment. _I guess I was just the opening act_ , he thought. _On to the main event, huh?_ Even though their encounter on the floor hadn't exactly been in line with his dad's advice to not throw himself around, he hadn't felt really dirty, or used. _Until now._ "Of course not," Kurt said coolly. "Good night, Sebastian." He turned and walked back to the counter, opening up the drawer and busying himself counting out the cash inside. He kept his eyes down, ignoring Sebastian completely.

Sebastian went to the door, intending to disable the alarm and stride through it carelessly. But as his hand touched the brass knob, he found himself hesitating. "Goodnight, Kurt," he said, still facing the door. When there was no response to be heard, he left, the click of the door closing sounding very loud from where he stood on the hot, muggy sidewalk. Suppressing the urge to turn and take one more look at Kurt from the front window, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to his car. A shower was sounding just about perfect at the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

The following Wednesday afternoon, Sebastian found himself sitting in his parked car in the Lima Bean parking lot. It wasn't the most unusual place for him to be, but seeing as how he wasn't working that day, it was somewhat out of character for him. Now that he worked at the Bean, he rarely went there on his off hours for coffee, but then again, it wasn't really coffee he was looking for. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, keeping beat with the song playing on the radio while he eyed the front door of the coffee house expectantly.

_I had a way then_

_Losing it all on my own_

_I had a heart then_

_But the queen has been overthrown_

He spotted the door opening, and finally saw what he'd been waiting for. Kurt was leaving the Lima Bean, looking down at his phone, his apron bunched up in his hand. Greg posted everyone's schedule in the office, so it had been easy for him to find out what shifts Kurt had been scheduled for that week. Sebastian knew he had to time things as perfectly as possible to get what he wanted. He needed to see Kurt before they worked together again, but at the same time let enough time pass for the reality of what they'd done on Friday to really sink in. Tonight was ideal in that regard, so Sebastian had dressed carefully and driven downtown. It was time he and Kurt Hummel had a little chat. Sebastian got out of his car, standing directly in the path Kurt was taking to his own vehicle.

Thumbing through his texts, it took Kurt almost until he bumped into him to notice Sebastian. He looked up with a smile, expecting to pass a customer on their way into the Lima Bean. The smile fell from his face immediately, and he froze in place as soon as he recognized who he was standing in front of. It wasn't like he didn't know he'd be running into Sebastian again; they did work together, after all. But he'd expected it to be on their first shift together tomorrow night, with them both on even ground. Instead, Kurt found himself with an eyeful of Sebastian's long, rangy physique clad in a form fitting short-sleeve gray button down shirt and dark maroon skinny jeans. He swallowed, unable to speak, and equally unable to keep his eyes from crawling all over the body he'd become so recently and intimately acquainted with.

"Hey there, Kurt," said Sebastian, flashing the blinding grin that normally resulted in pants flying off at record speed. "Good shift?"

Kurt was both stunned and horrified to witness Sebastian's smarmy come-on routine directed his way. He'd expected Sebastian to either ignore what had happened between the two of them, or maybe make it all extra painful by ragging on how quickly Kurt had given in to his touches and kisses. But the ingratiating manner that Kurt was much more used to seeing directed towards his ex was both surprising and unwelcome when aimed his way. "What do you want?" he asked flatly, the corners of his mouth pulling down.

Sebastian was equally surprised by Kurt's instantaneous shift from uncomfortably unsure to one hundred percent bitch mode. He barreled forward again with his normally successful false charm. "Easy, killer," he said, completely unaware of how rage-inducing the pet name was for Kurt. "I just thought we could talk." Sebastian reached out and touched Kurt's shoulder, then ran his hand down his arm.

Kurt jerked his arm back sharply, as if Sebastian's fingers were razor blades. "Don't touch me," he said, glaring. The oily quality of Sebastian's voice made him feel dirty all over again, and not in a good way.

Confused, Sebastian's confidence started to drop a bit. "You seemed to like it when I touched you Friday night," he said, but the words held no bite to them.

"Friday was Friday," said Kurt, repeating the words he'd told himself many a time over the last few days. "It has no bearing on today, so keep your hands to yourself."

 _Damn_ , thought Sebastian. _Time to regroup_. He hadn't expected Kurt to be consumed with lust again at the very sight of him, but the sheer thickness of the wall of ice being thrown up by the other boy was unexpected. Especially now that he knew how blazingly hot Kurt could be, under the right conditions. Sebastian had thought that Kurt's romantic nature would respond much better to flattery than honesty, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd underestimated Kurt. It was getting to be distressingly habitual at this point. He held his hands up. "Done," he said, completely serious. "Now can we talk?" he said.

Kurt sighed. "I don't think there's anything worth discussing," he said.

"I disagree," Sebastian replied. "At least, not on my end. I want to ask you something. Will you come sit in my car with me for a few minutes?" Part of him wanted to abandon his plan entirely, but he'd never been a coward, and never taken rejection much to heart. He'd known from the start that Kurt might not be receptive to his idea, but what life was worth living without taking chances? He sucked in a breath, finding a well of patience somewhere inside of him. "Please?"

Boggled that Sebastian even knew the word, Kurt was startled into agreement. "Fine," he said. "Just make it quick."

Sebastian led the way to his car, a silver 2005 Infiniti Q45, handed down to him by his father for his sixteenth birthday. Originally he'd been planning to open the door for Kurt, imagining how much the other boy would enjoy the gesture. But upon seeing Kurt stomp his way to the passenger door, he thought better of it, and just slipped into the driver's seat directly. He turned on the car so he could get the air conditioning going, and turned the radio down to a bare whisper. "About the other night," he started.

"What about it?" said Kurt. He just didn't get what Sebastian was after. It was doubtful to him that Sebastian had feelings at all about their impromptu frotting session, let alone the compulsion to have a heartfelt discussion about them.

Hearing the emotionless tone in Kurt's voice, Sebastian abandoned all pretense, and decided to just lay everything out on the line. "Are you okay with it?" he asked. "What we did?"

"Why do you care?" asked Kurt. If Sebastian had asked the same question right after they'd both gotten off, Kurt would have responded much differently. But seeing how Sebastian had been too busy tripping over his own feet in his hurry to meet up with his _date_ , for Kurt it was too little, too late. And he wasn't used to being physically intimate with someone who ignored him for days afterwards either.

"Because I have a proposition for you," Sebastian said bluntly.

"And that would be?" asked Kurt. He was finding it a little easier to talk to Sebastian now that he'd dropped the icky gay bar superstar act. He started to relax his guard a little, which was probably why Sebastian's next words hit him like a two-by-four.

"I want to have sex with you."

Heat immediately coursed through Kurt's body, a confusing mix of embarrassment, outrage and admittedly, arousal. "What?" he asked, figuring he must have misheard, or misunderstood.

"I think we should have sex," Sebastian said. "With each other."

Only one word came to Kurt's mind, and it flew out of his mouth almost involuntarily. "Why?"

It wasn't like Sebastian hadn't expected the question. He'd asked himself the same thing several times since the idea had occurred to him. Luckily, their time apart had given him the ability to be able to answer Kurt's question easily, having turned the facts over in his head a multitude of times by then. He'd have to ease Kurt's mind before he could spread his legs, that was for sure, and a confident response was necessary. "I just think we could help each other out, is all," he said off-handedly. "I need sex on a regular basis, and you're not getting any from Blaine anymore. We got each other off just fine on Friday, so why not keep doing it?"

His matter-of-fact delivery wasn't helping Kurt's astonishment much. There were so many things wrong with the idea, he didn't know where to begin. But since Sebastian had brought Friday up, he decided to start there. "You could have fooled me," Kurt said. "If it was fine, I doubt you'd have needed to hurry off for your _date_. You should be extending the offer to him instead."

Sebastian looked down at the console. He'd hoped he wouldn't have to admit this, but if it got him laid faster he really didn't care. "I didn't go," he said, bringing his eyes back up to Kurt's.

"Bullshit," said Kurt.

"No, really," Sebastian said. He wasn't lying. Sebastian had driven to Nick's house and arrived wearing his apron to hide the wet spot on his khakis. He'd gone upstairs to shower and change, fully intending to head out to Rob's. But once he'd gotten ready, he'd found that the warm shower, combined with working an unusually stressful shift and having an amazing orgasm left him rather tired and relaxed. Suddenly driving a half hour to hook up with a guy who might turn out to be a disappointment seemed like too much effort. After all, he'd really only needed to finally come outside of masturbation, and thanks to Kurt that mission was accomplished. So instead he went down to Nick's family room where his friends were gathered, and asked if they could order the pizza and wings to be delivered, instead of him picking them up. At first they looked disappointed, assuming that Sebastian had decided to spend the night with Rob after all. But when he instead flopped onto the couch and requested a Mario Kart battle of the Warblers, he was rewarded with cheers and playful shoulder punches. "I was planning on it, but then I just didn't see the point. I wanted to come, and I came. With you. Why waste the gas when I got what I needed already?"

The knowledge that Sebastian hadn't gone from him to some random guy on the internet made Kurt feel a little less misused. This didn't mean, however, that he was anywhere near even considering the arrangement being suggested. Was he supposed to be flattered that he came in first because Sebastian found traveling to meet his hookup inconvenient? "There is no way I'm doing anything with you again," he insisted. "I can't believe you would think I would even consider being your…" he trailed off, unable to think of a word to accurate describe the role.

 _It's called a fuckbuddy, Kurt_ , Sebastian's mind eagerly supplied. But he toned it down a bit, not wanting to chase Kurt off. "Friend with benefits?" he suggested helpfully.

Kurt made a face. "Some benefit," he said. "What exactly would _I_ be getting out of this arrangement?"

Sebastian looked at him disbelievingly. "Um, sex?" he said. "That was pretty much implied in the whole 'I want to have sex with you' thing."

"Please," scoffed Kurt. "You may be obsessed with sex, but not everyone is. It's not that big of a deal to me."

"You liked it well enough Friday night," Sebastian pointed out.

"There were extenuating circumstances," Kurt said, flushing.

"Such as?" Sebastian said.

"It had just been a really long time for me, okay?" Kurt said, closing his eyes, repeating the things he'd told himself over the last few days in an attempt to make sense of what had happened. "It was hot, and we were mad at each other. We were running around, resulting in one hell of an endorphin rush, which confused my body into thinking it was getting excited about something completely different. But all of that's over, and I don't need it anymore." He opened his eyes, giving Sebastian a hard look. "I don't need it, and I certainly don't need _you_. _"_

"It felt good, though, didn't it?" said Sebastian, not dissuaded in the least. Kurt could hardly deny that and expect Sebastian to believe him.

"Of course it felt good," said Kurt, rolling his eyes. "Having an orgasm feels good. That's hardly breaking news."

"And you don't want to feel good on a regular basis?" Sebastian asked. "You'd rather not feel good, even if the opportunity were there, right in front of you?"

"If the only opportunity is with you, I'll pass," said Kurt. "Unlike you, I don't let what's in my pants dictate my life choices. I know it's probably impossible for you to relate to, but sex just isn't that high of a priority for me."

"I would have found that very easy to believe a week ago," said Sebastian. He lowered his voice a bit. "But that was before I had you beneath me, moaning and panting while you fell apart under my hands. It was a pleasant surprise, how responsive you were."

Sebastian's douchey routine was a total turn off for Kurt, but the sincere thread of roughness in his voice as he described what had happened on the floor was having the opposite effect on him. Kurt felt a curl of desire rise up, and sucked in a breath to try and beat it back. "It doesn't matter. I'm not like you. I don't do casual sex."

"You did on Friday," Sebastian said.

"Will you please stop bringing that up like it means anything?" Kurt said, hating how the words came out pleading rather than angry. "I told you why it happened."

"Oh, I heard you," said Sebastian. "It was because it had been so long since you'd done something sexual with another person. And because we were pissed at each other, and it was almost ninety degrees in the Bean, and you were on an adrenaline high from me chasing you around the seating area for nearly ten minutes." He ticked the reasons Kurt had given him on his fingers as he rattled them off. "Did I get everything?"

"Yes," said Kurt, gathering strength from Sebastian repeating his excuses back to him. _Not excuses_ , he told himself hastily. _Reasons. Perfectly legitimate reasons for his aberrant behavior._

"Good," Sebastian said. "Tell you what. I'll make you a deal."

And just like that, Kurt was off-kilter again. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't believe you," said Sebastian, holding up his hand to ward off Kurt's automatic protest. "But I'll give you the chance to prove it to me."

"Why should I care if you believe me or not?" said Kurt.

"Because you love to be right, and you love me being wrong even more," said Sebastian. "And because if you don't agree to what I'm proposing, I'll be forced to conclude that you're afraid of the truth."

"What truth?" asked Kurt.

Sebastian's eyes darkened further. "That only reason you whimpered and moaned and came in your damn pants against my cock is because we're hot as fucking hell together."

Kurt tried to shake his head, but he seemed to have lost the ability to move at that moment. The warmth in his lower belly was back, and he could actually feel his palms start to dampen. "What exactly are you proposing?" he asked weakly. He wasn't sure when he'd lost the upper hand in the conversation, but it had definitely happened at some point.

"Let me have you again," said Sebastian, his voice soft and seductive. "But this time without any of those things you mentioned. The first one's already taken care of. It's only been a few days since your last sexual contact." He reached out and ran his finger around the shell of Kurt's ear; this time Kurt didn't shy away, just let out a shuddery breath at the teasing touch. Kurt's lips were slightly parted, and his pupils were enormous. _Gotcha_ , thought Sebastian. "I'll make sure you're cool and relaxed before we start," he continued. "And we won't be fighting. Do you know why?"

Kurt tried to shake his head, and he just managed to move it minutely. His mouth was so dry, he couldn't have spoken if it meant winning a starring role on Broadway. Sebastian had woven some sort of spell around him, and everything felt a little fuzzy around the edges.

"We won't be fighting, because I'm going to be nice to you," said Sebastian, circling in for the kill. He'd never taken this particular approach with a guy before, going for sultry and tender instead of brash and crude. It worked perfectly on Kurt, though, and watching the other boy give in inch by inch until he was pliant and willing was adding to Sebastian's arousal tremendously. "I'm going to be so very nice to you, Kurt." He trailed his fingers down Kurt's cheek over to his mouth, catching the lower lip with his thumb for a moment before drawing away. Sebastian smiled and relaxed back into his seat. "So what do you say? Do we have a deal?"

Still a little foggy, Kurt sat back in his own seat and licked his lips. He tasted a tiny bit of the salty tang from Sebastian's skin, and sharp wanting suddenly cramped up inside of him. It cut cleanly through his doubts and confusion, leaving him with only one way of answering Sebastian's question.

"Deal."

And that was how, three hours later, Kurt found himself pulling into the driveway of Sebastian's house. It was positively surreal to him, sitting in his dark car and realizing that once he got inside, he was going to have willing, premeditated sex with Sebastian Smythe. How had this happened again?

" _When?" asked Sebastian. "Tonight? I have the night off, you have the night off…"_

" _Sure," said Kurt absently, still feeling as if he were in some sort of bizarre dream._

" _My place or yours?" asked Sebastian._

The thought of rolling around in the same bed with Sebastian where he'd made love with Blaine a handful of times had snapped Kurt back to reality quickly. To quote a song he'd heard Mercedes had sung while he'd been at Dalton, hell to the no.

" _Your place," Kurt said quickly. "If that's okay."_

" _Yeah, my parents are having dinner with friends in Columbus," Sebastian said. "They won't be back until midnight or later. Give me your phone, I'll put my address in."_

Kurt had gone home, showered, and changed into street clothes. While it was still quite warm, the worst of the heat wave had broken, and Kurt chose his clothes accordingly. Tight black jeans and his knee-high Docs on the bottom. On top, a red cotton dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, pinstripe black vest, and a black continental cross tie. He'd left a note for Finn and his parents, who had gone bowling, to let them know that he was going out for the evening. He'd easily found Sebastian's home with his GPS, but now that he was there, he wasn't sure what he was doing. Was he just there to prove Sebastian wrong, or did part of him actually crave the arrangement being suggested? Kurt had always believed that love and romance came first, and sex was a result of that. That it was a way to express that love, not a means to an end in itself. But Kurt had to come to realize lately that a lot of things he'd once believed held little to no water. He'd believed that if you struggled and worked and strived towards a goal, success would naturally result. He'd believed that love and trust went hand in hand, and that you couldn't possibly feel one without the other. And Kurt had once believed that he never could have been attracted to Sebastian under any circumstances. Kurt was questioning his entire belief system lately, and he guessed that the only way to find out if sex without love was really as empty as he'd always assumed was to give it a go. With that in mind, he left his car and went up to the front door.

Just a moment after Kurt rang the bell, the door opened. Sebastian stood in the doorway, wearing the same clothes as earlier in the day, his head tilted slightly to the side as he took in Kurt's appearance. "Hey," Sebastian said, smiling in an unusually soft way. "You made it. Come on in." He opened the door wider and stepped to the side, so Kurt could enter the house.

Kurt looked around the front entrance hall, which like the structure itself was large but somehow managed to not be imposing. The effect was repeated in the rooms that Kurt saw as he followed Sebastian. Everything looked expensive, but in a warm, eclectic way that had Kurt feeling more comfortable that he'd ever felt in Blaine's more formally decorated house. There was a distinctly European feel to the furnishings, sophisticated yet lived in at the same time. Sebastian stopped in a large open area, directly in front of a staircase. Kurt's eyes darted from the stairs to Sebastian, then back again. He thought that he'd begin to climb the stairs to where his room presumably was, but Sebastian surprised him.

"Have you had dinner?" he asked Kurt.

Kurt had been so overwhelmed and nervous getting ready, eating had never crossed his mind. "Um, no," said Kurt, wondering why Sebastian was asking. "Have you?"

"I did," Sebastian said. "But there's plenty left. Come into the kitchen and I'll warm some of what my mom left me up for you."

"Oh no, you don't have to-" he started to say, but he was talking to Sebastian's back as the boy turned to the left and went into what Kurt saw was a huge, open concept kitchen. Shrugging, he followed along. His eyes widened when he got a load of the whole kitchen. While it had the same welcoming feel as the rest of the house, it was much more lavish. Whoever had designed this room had spared no expense; from the top of the line stainless steel appliances, to the glossy black granite countertops, to the iridescent glass mosaic backsplash that was practically a work of art. Kurt stared at the enormous stove, which must have been meant more for a commercial kitchen or restaurant. It had two ovens, eight burners and a griddle. As someone who enjoyed cooking, Kurt was in awe of it.

Sebastian walked over to the monstrous stove, twisting the handle to heat it up. He then went over to the counter, where he started spooning something into a medium-sized pottery ramekin glazed in deep blue. "It hasn't cooled off much, so it'll heat up quick," he told Kurt.

While Sebastian had made Kurt the occasional sandwich or drink for his break at work, having him warm up leftovers for him in his family's home was beyond weird. "What is it?" asked Kurt, simply for something to say.

Sebastian slid the dish inside the cavernous oven and closed the door. "It's a spring vegetable ratatouille, with tomato-curry sauce and smoked goat cheese," he said, the words flowing off his tongue like he was the matre d' in a fancy restaurant.

Kurt's mouth dropped. "Your mom made that?" he said, his surprise cancelling out his discomfort instantly.

"Yeah," said Sebastian. "She was trying it out for her blog next week. It's the first time she's made it, but it turned out great."

"Your mother has a blog?" asked Kurt, in the same stunned voice.

"A food blog," Sebastian affirmed. "She's written a few cookbooks too. Mom takes classic French dishes and updates them, puts a little twist in there." After a few moments he went over to the stove and removed the dish with a potholder, putting in on a plate so he could carry it over to Kurt.

Kurt looked at the small casserole in front of him, seeing eggplant, squash, zucchini, grape tomatoes, red peppers and asparagus tips. It smelled better than anything he'd ever smelled before, and he picked up the fork that Sebastian handed him to take a bite. Carol was a great cook, and Kurt was no slouch himself, but this was food like he'd never tasted it. He suddenly understood what all those people on Top Chef and Chopped meant when they talked about depth of flavors and how to layer them. _Holy crap_. In an instant, he realized who Sebastian's mother was. "Oh my God," he said, laying down his fork. "Your mother is Julia Mason-Smythe?"

"The one and only," Sebastian said, He'd heard Kurt talk about food at work, and knew that a couple of the items on the Lima Bean's menu were his creations, like the niçoise tuna salad sandwich on a mini French baguette. Sebastian had a feeling Kurt might be familiar with his mother's work, but had held the information back. Something had told him it might come in handy at some point, though he'd never thought the reason would be to impress Kurt enough to make his pants come off faster.

"I didn't know she lived near Lima," said Kurt. "I didn't even know she lived in Ohio!"

"She likes to keep a low profile," said Sebastian. "We moved around a lot, before my dad got into politics, so Mom never wanted to associate herself with any particular regional scene, professionally speaking." He could tell Kurt was bowled over by the news, and he smiled broadly. "You want some wine with that?" he asked Kurt. "I was just about to get a glass myself."

"Won't you get in trouble?" said Kurt.

"Nah, they don't mind, as long as it's at home, and I don't drink to get drunk," Sebastian said truthfully. He went over to the wine refrigerator and selected a Merlot. He snagged two Riedel stemless wine glasses from the cupboard and gave each of them a healthy pour. "It's the whole French thing. My parents started giving me watered down wine when I was around ten, so I'd develop the palate for it. My mom was raised the same way, and she's certainly no alcoholic, so they followed suit with me."

Kurt took a sip of the wine Sebastian had poured. Other than the champagne at Burt and Carole's wedding, he had little experience with wine other than cooking with it occasionally. The Merlot was a little bitter to his untried taste buds, but there was a fruitiness and earthiness underneath that he thought he could probably get used to. "It's good," said Kurt, digging back into his dinner. Now that he was more relaxed, he realized how hungry he was. His plate was cleaned and glass empty in minutes.

Sebastian watched Kurt as he sipped his wine. Everything was going exactly as he'd planned. As much as he'd never had anything resembling a relationship before, he had become really attached to the idea of having a sex partner on retainer. Without the bars and clubs, it was such a hassle to hook up. Kurt lived near him, worked with him, and was available only a short text or phone call away. He needed to make Kurt understand what a win-win situation this was for both of them. Sex on demand, whenever either of them needed or wanted it. It was the perfect scenario. "More?" he asked, nodding his head towards the empty dish.

"No, I'm full, thanks," said Kurt. The wine was causing a soft, cottony feeling around the edges of his brain that was quite pleasant. "Maybe some more wine, though."

"Okay, but just half a glass," said Sebastian, pouring the dark ruby liquid.

"Why?" said Kurt.

Sebastian got up and came around the back of where Kurt was perched on his stool. He lowered his lips to Kurt's ear, letting his chest touch Kurt's back. "Because I don't want you to be able to say you only liked what we're about to do because I got you drunk," he said in a near whisper. "There's nothing wrong with taking the edge off a little, but I want you to feel and remember everything." He smiled at the shiver that passed through Kurt. "Once I prove to you that we're going to be amazing in bed together with no distractions, I'd be more than happy to introduce you to how awesome a drunk, sloppy fuck can be. I'd like to show you all sorts of things, Kurt. You just have to let me in."

Sebastian's seductive words and warm body surrounding him made Kurt unable to remember any of the reasons why he thought tonight might be a bad idea. He took a large mouthful of wine and swallowed it, closing his eyes. By the time he opened them, the last lingering shreds of doubt had disappeared. "Okay," he said, a little breathless. "I'm ready. Take me upstairs, Sebastian."

"I thought you'd never ask," said Sebastian, lightly circling his fingers around Kurt's wrist. He tugged Kurt gently off the stool, out of the kitchen and up the stairs, until he came to a stop at a door in the upstairs hallway. Without a word, he opened the door and stepped inside, letting go of Kurt's wrist.

Kurt stood in the hallway for a moment, unmoving. He knew that things were going to change once he stepped over the threshold of the doorway. He'd had the same feeling when he and Blaine had gone back to Blaine's house after West Side Story's opening night; that he would enter the room in one state, and leave it in a different one. That night, he'd gone into his boyfriend's bedroom a virgin and left it…well, not one. He would go into Sebastian's as a person who had only ever been to bed with someone that he loved, that he was in a committed relationship with. He'd leave it the type of boy who would have sex solely for the physical pleasure of the act. He hadn't thought that was who he was, but then again, who he was hadn't been making him very happy lately, had it? Kurt walked through the doorway, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was through the door, Sebastian approached him, putting a one hand on his shoulder and the other on his lower back. "I'll make this so good for you," he said. "I'm glad you're here, Kurt." He guided Kurt over to the bed and sat him down on it, going to his knees. He huffed out a laugh at Kurt's wide eyes, his fingers going to the laces of the knee-high boots. "It's okay," he said, working the sides of the Docs open. "I'm just getting you more comfortable." Sebastian removed both boots, then toed off his own shoes and climbed onto the bed next to Kurt.

Kurt swung his legs up onto the bed and sat there, not knowing what to do or say. Sebastian ran a hand from the top button of his shirt down to the waistband of his jeans. Kurt gasped at the sensation.

"So many layers," Sebastian said.

"Sorry," Kurt mumbled.

"It's fine," said Sebastian. "It means I get to unwrap you, like a present." He unbuttoned the single button of Kurt's tie and drew it off, then popped the first two buttons of his red shirt. Kurt was starting to breathe heavily, a good sign indeed. "Before we get started though…we should probably discuss the ground rules, if you have any."

Kurt was confused. "You mean, like no kissing?"

"You don't want me to kiss you?" asked Sebastian.

"No, I just didn't know if kissing was appropriate," said Kurt. "For this kind of thing."

"Why would kissing not be okay?" asked Sebastian, puzzled. "Kissing is hot."

"I don't know," said Kurt. "I've probably seen Pretty Woman a few too many times. Kissing is fine, I like kissing." He shut up before he embarrassed himself further.

"What else do you like?" asked Sebastian.

Kurt's mind went blank. He'd never had a conversation like this before. "I don't know," he said. There wasn't really he and Blaine had tried that had bothered him. "I like everything, I guess," he said.

Sebastian's mind went to the multitude of sexual acts he'd participated in, some of which he doubted Kurt even knew existed. As much as he'd have liked to have taken Kurt at his word, he knew better. "I doubt that," Sebastian said mildly.

"No, really," said Kurt, totally weirded out by having a detailed conversation about sex in bed. He and Blaine had pretty much played everything by ear as they went along. "Whatever, it's all good."

"So you don't mind if I piss on you?" asked Sebastian, unable to resist teasing Kurt.

"What!" said Kurt. "Ew, no! Of course not. I thought we were talking about sex!" When Sebastian just looked at him intently, he got the picture. "Oh, gross," he said. "People do that? Do you?"

"Yes, some people find urine play exciting," said Sebastian calmly. "And no, it's not really my thing. I'm pretty adventurous, though. I never say never." He chuckled at Kurt's obvious shock. "Look, I know you're not, which is why I asked. If I'm going to make this good for you, I have to know what you like, and don't like."

Kurt was at a loss. "Well, not peeing," he said in a small voice.

Sebastian found Kurt's innocence even more alluring than he'd expected, and adorable even though he didn't usually do either. "Let's start with something a little less open ended," he said. "Top, bottom, or switch?"

"I beg your pardon?" asked Kurt.

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, trying not to laugh. He was pretty sure Kurt wouldn't appreciate it. When he knew he'd be able to keep a straight face, he spoke. "Do you like to be penetrated, or do you like to do the honors?" he asked. "Or are you good either way?" When Kurt said nothing, a thought occurred to him. "Did you and Blaine not have anal sex?"

"Of course we did!" said Kurt, offended. "We may not have swung from the chandeliers, but we did have sex, for crying out loud."

"Not judging you," said Sebastian, holding up his hands. "Not everyone does, okay?"

"Well, we did," said Kurt, a little testily.

"And when you did?" asked Sebastian, still trying to get an answer from Kurt.

Kurt's irritation melted into embarrassment again. "Um, I was usually the one…taking it," he said, feeling heat come into his cheeks.

"Usually?" said Sebastian.

"Okay, fine," said Kurt. "Always. I was always on the bottom. We tried it the other way, but Blaine said it hurt, and I didn't want to hurt him."

"Did you like it?" asked Sebastian. "Having him in you?"

"Yes," said Kurt. "I liked it a lot, actually. Can we please stop talking about it now?"

"We sure can," replied Sebastian. He surged forward, crashing his lips into Kurt's and rolling him underneath him. He could taste the remnants of the wine in Kurt's mouth and he chased it with his tongue, licking the insides of Kurt's cheeks and the roof of his mouth. He found Kurt's tongue and prodded it with his own, encouraging him to respond. With a sharp inhale, Kurt's mouth sprang to life, and he began kissing Sebastian back energetically. Without removing his lips, Sebastian managed to get both Kurt's vest and the rest of his shirt unbuttoned. He finally detached his mouth, biting into Kurt's bottom lip and worrying it gently between his teeth. At this, Kurt let out his first audible moan, pleasing Sebastian greatly. He began a journey over Kurt's chin, cheek, ear and neck, kissing and sucking and biting his way over the pale skin. When he got to his neck he found the faint shadow of the bruise he'd made there on Friday. He laved it gently with his tongue twice, causing Kurt's breath to hitch, then buried his face in, sucking as strongly as he could. Sebastian wanted the hickey back, just as dark as or even darker than it had been in the first place. He knew that every time Kurt saw it in the mirror, he'd remember how good Sebastian had made him feel. He bit down forcefully on the already tender skin, and Kurt's entire body jerked beneath him.

Pleasure raced through Kurt's veins, as if his blood were on fire. He didn't know how Sebastian was able to do this to him, to reduce him to nothing but mindless, shivering need with just his mouth. He arched his throat, wordlessly begging for more suction, more teeth...more of everything Sebastian was giving him. Kurt felt fingers run down the side of his face and the opposite side of his neck, then slide further until they touched the skin just above his nipple. Hyperaware of all sensation, he consciously felt his flesh tighten, budding and reaching upwards as if begging for attention. Still sucking on Kurt's neck, Sebastian brought his fingers down to brush over the hardened tip. When Kurt groaned helplessly, they returned, this time catching the peak between thumb and forefinger and squeezing firmly in short, rapid pulses. The dual sensation of having his neck and nipple attended to so expertly unraveled Kurt, and he thrust his hips upwards, crying out.

Now that he'd discovered how sensitive Kurt's nipples were, Sebastian abandoned his neck with one last look and lick over the vivid purple mark he'd made. He kissed down Kurt's chest to where his fingers busily worked his hard nipple and added his tongue to the mix, swiping it over the protruding tip. He worked his way over to the other one, licking around it until it was just as stiff as the other. Sebastian sucked the bud into his mouth until his cheeks were hollowed, then raked across it with his teeth. Kurt was keening and moaning incessantly, and his responsiveness was making Sebastian hard as a rock. He removed his mouth so he could look at Kurt, who was just as wrecked and sweaty as he'd hoped. Sebastian brought his hands to the sides of Kurt's open shirt and vest, turning him this way and that to work the garments off of him. When he was done and had tossed them to his bedroom floor he sat up, straddling Kurt's hips and fetching their equally hard cocks up against each other inside their respective jeans. Sebastian trailed caressed Kurt's face, neck and chest, taking in the flushed skin, the deep hickey, and the rosy abraded nipples. Kurt's fair skin was like a map of everywhere Sebastian had been, and it was arousing as hell. "Fuck, Kurt," he said heatedly. "Your body was made for foreplay. I could tease you all night long and never get bored."

Kurt couldn't decide if Sebastian toying with his body for hours and hours was the best idea he'd ever heard, or the worst. He tried to say something, but all that came out when he opened his mouth was a strangled, "God."

Sebastian started to unbutton his own shirt, smiling at how Kurt's eyes rounded appreciatively as more and more of his chest was revealed. "I can't wait that long though," he said, tossing it to the floor on top of Kurt's discarded clothes. "I want your cock too badly." He smoothed his hand over the bulge in Kurt's jeans, bringing his hands to the button. He stopped, looking at Kurt. "Can I take your pants off?" he asked, making sure that Kurt would never be able to deny his willing participation. Kurt nodded somewhat desperately, so Sebastian unbuttoned and unzipped, working the tight denim over Kurt's hips and legs until they were off completely. This left Kurt splayed on the crisp white sheets of Sebastian's bed, only a pair of sexy turquoise Andrew Christian briefs keeping Sebastian from his prize. There was a damp spot on the crotch, where Kurt had leaked pre-come into the cotton. He brought his fingers to the moisture and rubbed against it, causing Kurt to groan at the contact. Sebastian continued, enjoying how easily he could feel the ridge of Kurt's cockhead through the fabric, which was becoming even damper under his ministrations. When the cotton was soaked through to his liking, he took his fingers away, loving the soft whine Kurt gave at their departure. Sebastian waited until Kurt made eye contact with him, then brought his lightly glossed fingers to his mouth and sucked the liquid off of them.

"Oh, shit," said Kurt, a bolt of lust shooting through him. Sebastian was humming around his fingers, the corners of his mouth turning up in obvious enjoyment.

Sebastian finished extracting all of Kurt's flavor from the digits, aware of how much it was turning Kurt on. He released them from his mouth with a pop. "You're delicious," he told Kurt. "Can I have more? It tastes so good." When Kurt nodded again, he brought his hands to Kurt's briefs and stripped them off, taking a moment to suck more moisture from the wet spot before tossing them on the ground. "Wouldn't want to waste any," he said, winking at Kurt.

 _Am I in a porno?_ Kurt thought dizzily. Sebastian was certainly a lot more creative than he or Blaine had ever been. He was doing things that Kurt would have never even expected would excite him. But the thought was gone when he realized that Sebastian was looking at his exposed dick, and Kurt could not figure out what to make of his expression.

It probably seemed like a no-brainer, but Sebastian liked penises. He really did, though. Some people thought they were unattractive or weird looking, but Sebastian had always esthetically appreciated that part of the male anatomy since he'd discovered porn around the age of thirteen. One of the reasons he'd pursued multiple partners was his fascination with how different each one was from the other. Practically like snowflakes. He'd been with men whose cocks were big, small, thick, thin, cut, uncut, dark-skinned, light-skinned, and every combination of the above. Sebastian liked feeling how unique each guy tasted, their heft in his hand, mouth or ass. Whenever he was with a guy, there was always a thrill in the reveal; would he have a curly nest of pubic hair, or be shaved clean? Would his prick turn red at the tip, or more of a purplish shade? Would he have prominent veins that bulged out from his erection, or would his shaft be sleek and smooth? Even in his quickie bathroom hookups, Sebastian would usually find something notable about his partner's dick, even if everything else about the man was completely unmemorable hours later. Ever since he'd felt Kurt's cock against his for the first time, speculation on what it might look like was never far from Sebastian's mind.

He was hardly disappointed. Kurt's cock was long, pale and elegant, just like its owner. It was of average thickness, with a slight upward curve that Sebastian knew could do amazing things to his prostate if given the chance. If Blaine didn't want to bottom to that, he had no idea what he was missing. Kurt's pubic hair was a few shades darker than the hair on his head, silky and thick but neatly trimmed into a triangular shape. The flared head of his dick was tinged a beautiful orchid color, and his balls were tight and drawn up against his body. Sebastian knew he'd miss variety eventually; but in the meantime, if he had to stick with one penis, he was glad it was such an impressive specimen. He licked his lips and shifted his gaze to Kurt, surprised to see concern marring his features. "Your cock is gorgeous," he said truthfully.

Kurt didn't know what he'd expected Sebastian's reaction to be, but that certainly wasn't it. He didn't like to think about the scores of men and boys Sebastian had been with, but he had to admit, it was particularly flattering that someone who'd seen as many dicks as Sebastian actually liked his. Blaine had always seemed happy with how Kurt was put together down there, but it wasn't like he had a lot to compare his boyfriend to either. "It is?" he asked.

"It is," Sebastian confirmed. He wanted to reach out and grab it, pump it and swallow it down as far as he could. Kurt wouldn't doubt his sincerity once Sebastian was gagging on his prick, he was sure. But again, he held back, wanting Kurt's buy in before proceeding further. "I want to touch it," he said, eyes burning into Kurt's. "I want to jack you off, put you in my mouth and suck you, 'till you come all warm and salty inside it. Can I?"

Kurt, inflamed even further by Sebastian's words, didn't think twice. "Yes," he gasped. "Yes, God, yes, just do it, Sebastian."

Sebastian took a hold of Kurt's cock, squeezing it once before loosening his grip slightly and beginning to move his hand up and down the length. He experimented with what Kurt liked. He noticed that Kurt would breathe more heavily when he was closer to the top of the shaft than the bottom, and that his hips would thrust upwards if Sebastian ran his thumb over the tip just before the downstroke. Every time a bead of pre-come appeared, Sebastian would lap it away eagerly with his tongue, which always wrenched a cry from Kurt. Soon however, his hand and the occasional swipes of his tongue weren't enough. He needed all of Kurt in his mouth, so he sank down and engulfed as much as he could, using his fist to make up for the few inches he couldn't get down. Sebastian sucked strongly, using a firm grip on the base of Kurt's cock. He moved up and down, breathing through his nose, taking a break every now and then to lick stripes up the shaft, or flicker the tip of his tongue on the underside where the head and shaft met. Sebastian knew he gave great head, and the yelps and moans coming from Kurt were only reinforcing that opinion.

Blaine and Kurt had given each other blowjobs, but both of their techniques must have been lacking, because Kurt knew it had never felt like this for him in the past. And he was sure he'd never made Blaine feel this good, or he would have been scraping him off the ceiling afterwards. Kurt's oral sex method had basically been to suck what he could, up and down the shaft as steady as a metronome, until the moment when Blaine said he was going to come. Then Kurt would take his mouth off quickly, and Blaine would ejaculate into some tissues they always had at the ready. Since Kurt had been the first to give head in their relationship, Blaine simply copied what Kurt had done, and they figured they must be doing it right since it always resulted in an orgasm for the recipient. But what Sebastian was doing was much different, and wonderful. He kept switching up what he was doing, so just when Kurt felt like he was relaxing into the movement over his erection, Sebastian would do something else and his excitement would start all over again. In the same way, when Kurt felt himself nearing the edge, Sebastian would ease off with soft, barely there licks. It kept his desire going longer and stronger than he'd ever experienced, and it was starting to disintegrate his mind. He felt like Sebastian had been blowing him for hours; days, even.

After bringing Kurt to the peak a half-dozen times and backing off quickly, Sebastian decided it was time for Kurt to finally come. He wanted to see Kurt orgasm beneath him again, and he also needed to finish him off, so he could pound into Kurt's ass and get off himself. Drawing his lips back, he gently clamped his teeth towards the bottom of the shaft and slowly, delicately dragged them up the length to the head. Sebastian heard a strangled shout erupt from above him, and started working his lips, tongue and hand aggressively over Kurt's cock, not stopping for a moment.

"Ah, ah, ah," Kurt panted. He could feel the rush of seed moments before he exploded, and he tried to warn Sebastian. "Fuck!" he managed to get out. "I'm…I'm…" In a flash of white he came, nearly shrieking with release.

Sebastian felt the first warm pulses of come land on his tongue, and he swallowed it down. He kept swallowing, gulping down every drop of Kurt's creamy load, until there was nothing left. Sebastian pulled off, licking at his lips to make sure he hadn't missed anything. He found Kurt boneless and lax, a blissed-out look on his face as he nearly melted into the mattress. Smiling, he figured Kurt's brain would be offline for a while, so he got up to remove his own pants and underwear, and grab supplies from his bedside table drawer.

When Kurt came back to his senses, he found Sebastian sitting up next to him, lazily stroking his own erection. "When…" he stammered, "when did you get naked?"

"Welcome back," said Sebastian, continuing to fondle himself unashamedly. "Enjoy your trip?"

Kurt was finding it hard to look away from Sebastian's cock, which was long, straight and thick in his hand. "It was…good," he said. Talk about the understatement of the century. If it had been any better, he'd probably have still been out like a light.

Sebastian chuckled softly. "I'm glad," he said. "I seem to have this problem, though," he said, indicating his lap. "Wanna help me out with it?"

"Um, sure," said Kurt. "Should I…?" he started to turn over onto his stomach, as usual.

"Woah," said Sebastian, tugging him back. "We've got time, just relax a little." He let go of his erection and slid down onto the bed until he was lying next to Kurt. He brought his hand to the back of Kurt's neck, urging his head forward so they could kiss. They made out slowly and thoroughly, and eventually Sebastian trailed his hand down Kurt's bare back, until he reached the firm globes of his ass. He massaged the firm, smooth flesh, working his fingers into the crease and brushing dry fingers over the puckered hole secreted inside. After a few moments of this, he stopped kissing Kurt and gently pushed him onto his back. He picked up the lube, showing it to Kurt. "I want to fuck you," Sebastian said. "Can I? Can I open you up, then slide my cock into your tight ass?"

Sebastian's words make Kurt both excited and nervous. Obviously, he'd proven his point. Sebastian could give Kurt pleasure; make him come easily without any promises of love or devotion. But to have Sebastian inside of him, where only his first love and first lover had ever been before? He'd been ready to turn over passively and have Sebastian fuck him a moment ago, but it seemed different now with Sebastian asking permission, and needing Kurt to say out loud that it was okay for him to come inside. He bit his lip indecisively.

Sebastian could tell that Kurt was torn, but knew the only way Kurt would agree to a repeat of tonight was if he actively chose this type of arrangement between the two of them. Still, there was nothing wrong with a little friendly encouragement. "You don't owe me anything," he said, though it was hard to say. Sebastian wasn't used to being left wanting. "You can get dressed and walk out the door right now. I'll jerk off, and never bring tonight or Friday up again to you." He brought his hand back to Kurt's ass and caressed it. "But if you stay, I'll make it worth your while. I'll take you higher than you've ever been, I promise."

Kurt thought back to how wonderful it had felt to give himself over to need and want, for a short time to not worry about anything but the here and now. _Why not?_ he asked himself _. Who does it hurt? No one._ "Okay," said Kurt. "I'll stay."

"And what do you want me to do to you?" Sebastian asked. "If you stay."

Kurt closed his eyes, gathering his courage. He opened them, and met Sebastian's eyes directly. "I want you to fuck me, Sebastian," he said.

Sebastian pulled Kurt back to him and kissed him passionately. He tore his mouth away after a few moments, pushing on Kurt's shoulder until he was on his back again. Sebastian got to his knees, grabbing the lube from the sheets where he'd dropped it and flicking the lid up. "Put your knees up," he directed Kurt, who complied. Not satisfied, Sebastian took one of the pillows and worked it under Kurt, until his pelvis was tilted upwards at the perfect angle. He leaned forward and pulled one cheek out of the way, drizzling a short stream of lube onto the pink furrow that was revealed. Sebastian brought his fingers to Kurt's closed hole, spreading the lube around and coating his fingers. He rubbed in a circular motion, only occasionally pressing against the opening to gauge how relaxed it was becoming. A couple of minutes in, he pushed a little harder, and his finger slipped in to the first knuckle.

"Oh!" Kurt exclaimed, clenching down on Sebastian's finger automatically.

The pressure around his finger was exquisite. The thought of that tightness around his cock made Sebastian even harder. He gently worked his finger in and out of, going deep so the palm of his hand came to rest against the curve of Kurt's ass. The moaning it was resulting in was encouraging, so when he felt that Kurt was loose enough, he added another finger. He added more lube and watched the greedy way Kurt's hole flexed around the digits. Sebastian began to scissor and twist his fingers, trying to spread Kurt as much as he could. He watched Kurt's face for signs of discomfort, backing off for a bit at the slightest wince. Soon Kurt felt loose and open, and Sebastian tried to add a third finger, but met too much resistance. "Bear down," he instructed Kurt. "I want to see you take three fingers before I'll know you're ready for my cock."

 _Three?_ thought Kurt. He'd never had more than two fingers inside him, even his own. In fact, the length of time Sebastian was spending on prep was a whole new experience for Kurt. He and Blaine had figured a few minutes of fingering were all that was needed; maybe that's why it had been so uncomfortable for Blaine when Kurt tried to go inside him? It didn't hurt Kurt, at least, not after a while, but maybe some boys needed more help in that area. Sebastian must have thought he needed a whole lot of help, apparently, because it seemed like he'd been fingering him forever. Kurt must have gotten lost in his own thoughts, because Sebastian repeated his command.

"Bear down, Kurt," Sebastian said, rougher than before. "Push out against my hand a little."

"Why?"asked Kurt.

"You'll see," Sebastian said. "Just do it." Kurt did as he was told, and Sebastian felt the ring of Kurt's anus flare outward slightly. He slipped the tip of the third finger in deftly. "Perfect," Sebastian said. "Now relax." As soon as Kurt's ass closed back up, Sebastian gave a slight push, and all of his fingers were drawn in eagerly.

"Oh, God," groaned Kurt, as Sebastian wiggled and twisted more than half his fingers inside him.

"Good?" asked Sebastan.

"So good," agreed Kurt, panting. "It feels so good." Amazingly, he felt himself start to get hard again.

Sebastian thrust a little harder, until he was pistoning his hand in and out rapidly. Kurt was crying out again, and his cock was half hard where it lay on his belly. "You're ready," Sebastian said. "You're ready, so fucking ready for my cock." He withdrew his fingers and scrabbled for the box of condoms, dropping it once before popping it open and withdrawing a foil packet. His hands were shaking a little with need; it had been a long time since he'd drawn things out like this. Sebastian also hadn't topped in a while; while he considered himself versatile, he usually wound up bottoming, either because of his own preference or his partner's. It had been a couple of months since he'd had his dick up someone's ass, and tonight it was exactly what he needed and wanted. To rut and fuck like an animal, until he came deep inside Kurt's walls.

"Ohhhh," gasped Kurt, reaching with his hips towards Sebastian. He'd felt so empty since Sebastian took his fingers away. He pushed against the mattress with flat feet, mindlessly bearing down like Sebastian had asked him to for his fingers. God, he just wanted to be filled, he needed it so _bad_.

Cock sheathed in latex and slicked up generously with lube, Sebastian turned his attention to where Kurt was writhing on the sheets beneath him, his rosy hole propped up invitingly by the pillow. He'd just taken hold of the base of his erection to bring it to Kurt's entrance, when the hole fluttered open on its own. "Jesus," he whispered, catching a brief glimpse of the red, soft tissue within Kurt's rectum. "Look at you," he said, a little louder. "Look at that gaping hole. You're such a greedy little bitch for my cock, aren't you?"

"Yes!" shouted Kurt, tossing his head from side to side. "Now, please," he begged.

Sebastian put the head of his prick against Kurt's now furled opening. "Open up for me," he said. "Show me what a perfect little bottom you are." Kurt's sphincter widened again, and Sebastian drove forward, sliding every inch of his shaft in smoothly until his balls pressed up against Kurt's ass. "Fuuuuuuuuck," he moaned loudly. Kurt's channel was a hot vise, already twitching and clenching around his turgid length.

"Unnnhh!" grunted Kurt. It was what he needed, to be impaled, penetrated… _taken_.

The time Sebastian had taken warming Kurt up had been well spent. He drew out until only his cockhead was inside Kurt, then thrust forward sharply all the way back in. The path was smooth and unresisting through the internal muscles of Kurt's ass. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's kneecaps, bracing himself as he set up a punishing pace with his hips. Both of them were erupting with low, rough noises every time Sebastian shoved into Kurt. The room grew warmer and filled with the scent of sweat and sex. Sebastian's hands ran from Kurt's knees down his shins to his slender ankles. Circling his hands just about Kurt's feet, he started raising his legs a little at a time.

"Ahhhh!" cried Kurt, the change in angle creating the most incredible pleasure as Sebastian pounded away inside him. He'd only ever had sex on his hands and knees, and he couldn't believe how much a difference a change in position made. Even as Sebastian slowly raised his legs, every inch of height caused a slightly different sensation. Kurt's cock was now fully hard, bouncing against his own abs as Sebastian rutted away inside him.

Sebastian got Kurt's feet even with his shoulders, never stopping his urgent thrusts. Kurt was keening now, completely erect and beginning to leak onto himself. Sebastian knew he was getting there, was going to blow his wad inside Kurt explosively. He wanted one last shot at making this night utterly unforgettable for Kurt, something that he'd never stop craving. He took both of Kurt's legs and forced them to the left, so he was turned on his side, knees drawn up. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's top leg and brought it across his chest, propping the foot on his shoulder before hunkering down a bit. He kept driving in and out of Kurt's ass vigorously. When Kurt gave a barely muffled scream, Sebastian knew he'd finally reached his prostate.

Kurt wasn't completely naïve. He knew what the prostate was, and that stimulation of the gland was supposed to feel especially good during anal intercourse. He and Blaine had even tried to find each other's fruitlessly a couple of times, before giving up in embarrassment. But if he'd ever doubted he had a fully functioning one, there was no question now. Every time Sebastian drove forward, a jolt of pleasure reverberated through his entire body. His cock grew harder and harder, even though there was no direct stimulation.

Sebastian turned his head to the side, taking a chance. Kurt had so far responded beautifully to everything he'd done, after all. The foot propped on his shoulder was easily accessible, so without warning he twisted his neck and captured Kurt's toes in his mouth. Sebastian sucked and licked at Kurt's foot, which unsurprisingly appeared to be perfectly pedicured.

"Shit! Fuck!" screamed Kurt, the additional sensation pushing him nearly across the line into orgasm. _I have a foot fetish when the fuck did that happen oh my God_ his mind yammered.

"Oh yeah," said Sebastian, voice deep and gravely. He stared at Kurt's rigid erection. "You can do it, baby. Come again, I know you can." Turning his head to the side again, he sank his teeth into the soft arch of Kurt's foot.

"Uh! Uh! Uh!" Kurt cried, in time with the pulses from his untouched cock. He came all over his stomach, shooting up in the air and landing several of the jets onto Sebastian's lower torso.

"Two for you and one for me," said Sebastian proudly, tearing his teeth away from Kurt's foot. "I can do that for you. No one else. I can make you come and come and-" He broke off with a cry of his own as his climax hit. Sebastian continued to thrust, yelling "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" with every pump of semen into the condom. Finally spent, he shoved Kurt's foot off of his shoulder and collapsed onto the slightly smaller body under him.

Like the last time, they lay there panting and gasping for a while. Sebastian eventually rolled off, grasping the bottom of the condom and pulling out of Kurt, who gave a sweet whimper at the withdrawal from his battered hole. He removed the rubber and tossed it in the direction of his trash basket, not really caring if it hit the mark or not. Sebastian reached between Kurt's legs and gently, tenderly massaged his sore entrance, still slick with traces of silicone lube. Beneath his soft ministrations, Kurt's pried open hole began to gradually tighten back up to its previous condition. Kurt gave a happy sigh, which brought a silly, genuine grin to Sebastian's face.

"So," said Sebastian, rubbing his nose against Kurt's. "Was I right?"

Kurt gave a tired, equally silly giggle. "You sure were," he agreed. "And I don't even hate you for it." He reached forward with his head and kissed Sebastian lightly.

"No?" questioned Sebastian.

"No," said Kurt. "Not even a little bit."


	7. Chapter 7

"Kurt, you almost ready?" Burt's voice boomed up the staircase. "If we don't leave in the next ten minutes, we're going to be late."

Kurt, wearing an unbuttoned light blue dress shirt, walked over to his bedroom door. "I just need a few more minutes, Dad," he said loudly. "My hair and everything is done, I just need to finish getting dressed." Going over to his vanity mirror, he began to button up his shirt, giving his appearance another once-over. Kurt really liked the highlights he'd recently put in his hair, though they had met with mixed approval from his family and co-workers. His dad had just closed his eyes and sighed when Kurt returned from the salon; he'd gone to get a haircut, but instead the stylist had suggested playing up how long his thick hair had gotten with the light streaks. Carol thought they were 'darling', and Finn had declared them 'awesome'. Sebastian, unsurprisingly, had teased him about it, saying that he felt like he was sleeping with Carmen Electra. But as with all of Sebastian's ribbing since they'd started their arrangement a little over a month ago, it was lighter and much less mean-spirited than in the increasingly distant past. They had already toned it down somewhat in order to work together more effectively, and now that they were physically intimate, their snarking was mostly humorous. Besides, Sebastian could complain about his highlights all he wanted. The truth was in the way that Sebastian had stroked them gently the next day after Kurt had collapsed on his chest, panting from the exertion of riding Sebastian's cock for nearly fifteen minutes straight.

Kurt felt his cheeks warm at the memory. He and Sebastian's arrangement had worked out every bit as well as Sebastian had hoped. Their first night of mindblowing sex certainly hadn't been a fluke. Four and a half weeks of some kind of sexual activity every two or three days had convinced Kurt that casual sex was in his wheelhouse after all. He'd never thought he had much of a sex drive before, at least compared to other boys his age, but apparently he was as late a bloomer on that front as he'd been on so many others. Sex with Blaine hadn't been frequent, even though it had been good for both of them when it did happen. But Sebastian was a very different type of lover than Kurt was used to; adventurous, skilled and experienced. He was a sexual athlete, with the bedroom as his Olympic field. Sebastian's appetite for sex was voracious, and Kurt felt his own grow with every explosive encounter. Kurt's confidence in his own abilities was growing too. Sebastian might still enjoy poking fun at Kurt outside of bed, but in it he was effusive in his praise for Kurt's body and technique. Sebastian loved to talk during sex, and most of it was as complimentary as it was filthy. Kurt and Blaine had made a stab at dirty talk a few times, but it always felt stilted and artificial. Sebastian was a natural at it, though, and Kurt was surprised by how much the crude narration turned him on.

Sebastian craved variety, and since he couldn't get it through multiple partners, he was apparently trying to accomplish it with an astonishing (well, to Kurt at least) assortment of acts and positions. Kurt didn't think there was anything Sebastian wouldn't do or hadn't done, and instead of finding Kurt's occasional reticence or embarrassment frustrating, he seemed to find it an exciting challenge to overcome. There were certain things Kurt still wouldn't agree to, but there were a lot he'd given a try, and he was yet to regret any of them. Especially what they'd done for the first time last week, in the very same bedroom he was currently sitting in.

It had been during the day, with Burt at the garage, and Finn and Carole visiting the Army Recruiting Center for an orientation meeting. Sebastian had texted Kurt from work to confirm the coast was clear, parking his car around the corner just in case Kurt's family came home early, or someone stopped by unexpectedly. The one thing Kurt and Sebastian agreed on completely was that no one other than the two of them would know they were sleeping together. They were pretty sure that Greg and some of their co-workers suspected something might be going on between them, especially since Sebastian's hands would occasionally wander at work if he thought it wouldn't be observed. Kurt thought that Sebastian's ultimate goal might be to screw him senseless in the Bean after closing, but as far as Kurt was concerned, that was not happening. Work was no place for sex, their first encounter notwithstanding. Kurt's bedroom was a different story, of course, and was often the site of their various assignations. He'd gotten over associating his bed with Blaine more easily than he'd expected. Sebastian had arrived quickly after getting Kurt's response text, beginning to shed his uniform before the bedroom door had even closed behind him.

_Kurt sat on the end of the bed, smiling and raising an eyebrow at the growing bulge in Sebastian's dark green boxer-briefs. "My, my," he said. "Someone's a little eager."_

_Sebastian sank to his knees in front of Kurt, putting their heads at a comparable height. "I've been so horny all day," he said. He kissed Kurt, hands fumbling for the hem of his t-shirt. "I can't wait to have you." He lifted the shirt up and off._

_"You're insatiable," teased Kurt, as Sebastian eased his soft yoga pants off, revealing the steadily increasing erection in his own underwear._

_"And this is news to you?" Sebastian asked, grinning. He kissed Kurt again, urging him down and backwards onto the bed, so they could lie against each other chest to chest. They were side by side for a while, but then Sebastian rolled them so that Kurt was on top. He thrust his clothed cock against Kurt's, gripping his ass tightly. "God, you look so fucking hot above me like that."_

_"Huh?" said Kurt, pumping his own hips leisurely. As compliments went, it was an unusual one. Why would him being above Sebastian be particularly sexy?_

_"Can we try something?" Sebastian asked._

_Kurt gave the answer he always did. "It depends on what it is."_

_"I want to switch it up," Sebastian said._

_"We're always switching things up," said Kurt, confused. "I don't think we've ever done anything the same way twice."_

_Sebastian stopped moving, and tightened his hold on Kurt's ass to get him to do the same. "Well, we've never done this before, that's for sure," he said. "When I say I want to switch, what I mean is that I want you to top this time."_

_"Oh," said Kurt. "You mean, um, me inside you? You like it that way?"_

_"I do," said Sebastian. "Actually, I prefer it slightly."_

_"Really?" said Kurt. He was surprised. Sebastian's strong personality combined with how much he seemed to enjoy pounding into Kurt had led him to assume the opposite. "But we've been doing it the other way since the beginning. Why would you do that if you don't like it?"_

_"I never said I didn't like it, just that I preferred bottoming," Sebastian said. "Slightly._ _**Very** _ _slightly. The only reason I haven't asked before now is that I know you haven't done it before, and I thought you might need me to work up to it a little." He paused, smiling. "Actually, scratch that, there's one more reason."_

_"Which is?" asked Kurt. He was a little nervous, but he recognized the growing excitement inside him at the idea of being inside Sebastian._

_Sebastian let go of one of Kurt's buttocks, and slipped his hand into Kurt's briefs. With the other hand, he pulled slightly, opening the cleft of Kurt's ass. Sebastian brushed the puckered hole softly with a finger. "This," he said, repeating the motion when Kurt groaned. "This tight, hot little asshole of yours. It's super distracting. I haven't missed having a dick in my ass much, because having mine in this little slice of heaven has been so fucking amazing the last few weeks." He rubbed his warm, dry finger a little harder back and across Kurt's anus, until he could feel that Kurt was fully hard again._

_"But...but now you do?" asked Kurt. It was hard to have a rational discussion when Sebastian was touching him like that. "Miss it?"_

_Sebastian took his stroking hand away, bringing it around and wedging it between their bodies until he could get into the front of Kurt's underwear. He palmed Kurt's bare cock for a moment, before curling his fingers around the shaft. "I've had this in my hand before," he said, squeezing. "My mouth too." He grinned at the needy whine that came from Kurt. "I suggest we make it a trifecta. Will you put your cock inside my ass, Kurt?"_

_"Oh God, yes," said Kurt, gasping out the words desperately. In that moment, he couldn't think of anything he'd ever wanted more._

_Sebastian reached above his head, and felt underneath the pillows where Kurt usually stashed the lube and condoms when he knew Sebastian was coming over. He withdrew the small bottle of clear lubricant, holding it out to Kurt like a prize. "I want you to prep me," Sebastian said. "I haven't bottomed in over three months; you'll have to stretch me out really good, so I can take every inch of your beautiful prick inside me." When uncertainty began to creep into Kurt's expression, he gentled his tone. "It's okay, I'll walk you through it." He worked his way up the bed a bit. "Why don't you start by taking off my underwear?"_

_Kurt licked his suddenly dry lips. He'd taken Sebastian's underwear off before, including one memorable time when Sebastian had bet him five dollars that Kurt couldn't get them all the way off just using his teeth (Kurt won). But somehow this time seemed a little intimidating to him. Kurt got to his knees and reached for the boxer-briefs, though, and they slipped easily over Sebastian's hips and down his long legs. Sebastian's erection lay stiff and needy on top of his lower abdomen, shifting slightly as he raised his knees and then spread them wide. Kurt then took the proffered bottle of lube, sucking a deep breath._

" _Relax, Kurt," said Sebastian, snorting softly with laughter. "You look like you're preparing to take the SAT's or something. It's not nearly that difficult, I promise. You'll do fine. Slick up your finger and massage my hole for a little bit. I know you like it when I do that for you, and it'll feel just as good for me." He hummed happily when Kurt complied. "Mmmmm, that's it. Just like that, keep going."_

_Kurt rubbed his finger firmly in small circles. After a while he could actually feel on his fingertip when the ring of muscle was becoming a little more lax than when he first started. The arrangement with Sebastian had been educational for Kurt, to say the least, but probably the most important thing he'd learned was how to be more aware of his own body during sex, and that of his partner. When you really took the time, and left self-consciousness at the door, even the subtlest of differences became apparent – the flush of skin, the set of a mouth or size of pupils. The different degrees of tension or looseness of muscles said more about readiness than any spoken word, Kurt had come to realize. So when he felt the slight loosening of Sebatian's entrance, he pushed forward and was rewarded with an easy breach, sinking in to his second knuckle. Kurt stopped and concentrated on the contrast of the tight grip at the middle of his finger with the more velvety yield of the fleshy walls past it._

_Sebastian groaned at the familiar, wonderful feeling of being penetrated. "So good," he said. "More. Give me more of that." He lifted his hips, causing Kurt's finger to slide the rest of the way in. Sebastian met Kurt's eyes, and without another word exchanged, Kurt began to move his finger in and out, slowly at first but with increasing speed. "See, baby?," said Sebastian. "It's not hard, you know what to do to make me feel good." He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, giving himself over to Kurt's fingering._

_Kurt felt a flush of pride at Sebastian's surrender. He knew far too well from trying this with Blaine that if you didn't do it right, discomfort and even pain could result. The memory of Blaine's watery eyes with a faint light of panic in them as Kurt awkwardly tried to stretch him out wasn't one of his favorites of their time together. Blaine had urged him to try putting his cock in anyway, telling Kurt it was fine, that he really did want to try it. Though he had said all the right things, his body language communicated exactly the opposite, but Kurt as took Blaine at his word. The result had been a disaster, with Blaine crying out in pain before Kurt had managed to even work the entire head in. Kurt realized now that Blaine had been way too nervous and not prepped adequately, but at the time he had just felt like there must be something wrong with him if he hurt his boyfriend so much. He'd gathered Blaine into his arms, calmed his apologetic sniffles with his own, and silently vowed never to try_ _**that** _ _again._

_Now though, Sebastian's vocalizations suggested nothing but pleasure and approval, so Kurt continued, gradually adding fingers and twisting them surely. It was a powerful feeling, watching Sebastian begin to perspire and writhe on the sheets, all because of what Kurt was doing to him. "Are you ready?" he asked, his cock throbbing when Sebastian opened his eyes and Kurt saw how hazy they were. "You feel ready. Do you want me to put it in you?"_

" _Oh yeah, do it," moaned Sebastian eagerly. "Want your cock in me so much."_

_Kurt withdrew his fingers and reached up into the pillows where the strip of condoms was, stopping to kiss Sebastian deeply along the way. He fumbled briefly with the condom but managed to roll it on without too much trouble. As Kurt started to squeeze lube onto his sheathed erection, Sebastian turned over onto his stomach. Kurt paused. "What are you doing?" he asked. Doubt was creeping in. Did Sebastian not want to see his face while he fucked him?_

_Sebastian turned his head as he got up onto his hands and knees, presenting his ass like a gift. "Your first time," he said, breathing rapidly, "Want to give you a good view. You can watch every inch of you slide my ass this way. It's so hot when you can see it and feel it at the same time, you'll see. No hardship for me, I fucking love getting it this way. Just fuck me, Kurt." He wiggled his rear from side to side invitingly._

_In the face of Sebastian's sincere desperation, Kurt felt his reservations melt away. He parted the cheeks of Sebastian's ass, taking a minute to examine the tight, glistening pucker. Remembering something Sebastian had done to him once, Kurt brought his lips close and blew a stream of air against the hole. Kurt felt the shudder rock through Sebastian's body, heard his needy whine at the sensation. He smiled and repeated the action twice more, squeezing the globes of Sebastian's ass with his long fingers. Then he drew away and reached for his prick, pressing the head against the hole. "Now?" he asked._

" _Yes fucking now!" Sebastian shouted, pushing back wantonly._

_Kurt thrust forward, his cockhead popping through the ring and seating itself inside. He and Sebastian moaned together, loudly. The snug clench just under the ridge of his glans was incredible, and Sebastian was right; seeing how the other boy was accepting his cock at the same time was the hottest thing Kurt had ever seen. "Oh, Sebastian," he groaned._

" _More," gasped Sebastian. It seemed to be his word of the hour. "All of it, all the way, fucking fill me with your cock I need it…"_

_Kurt pushed, and watched with wide eyes as his shaft disappeared inside Sebastian slowly. Heat and pressure surrounded the sensitive skin, engulfing the entire length. It was tighter than any fist, hotter than any mouth, and as his groin bumped up against the curve of Sebastian's ass, Kurt struggled not to come at the knowledge that he was inside another boy for the first time. It was even better than anything he'd imagined._

_Sebastian must have understood how overwhelming the moment was for Kurt, because he stilled his hips momentarily and just let him be in the moment. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the sheets, though, so it must have taken some effort. After a minute, he spoke. "You feel so good in me," he gritted out. "So deep, the way you are inside me right now. Can you feel how perfect you are at filling my ass?"_

" _It's tight," said Kurt, inhaling. "So tight. It doesn't hurt?"_

" _No," said Sebastian, craning his head around to look at Kurt. He must have remembered what Kurt had told him about the last time he'd attempted this, because his eyes softened, and Kurt's heart gave a little lurch at the now familiar quiet understanding in them. "It doesn't hurt at all. It feels amazing. But you know what would feel better?" he asked. "If you started moving. I'll tell you if anything's wrong, but this isn't exactly my first time at the rodeo. You can go as hard as you want now, you won't hurt me, I promise."_

_Kurt began to withdraw and thrust back in. Sebastian turned his head back around, but kept up a steady stream of encouraging noises and words. Kurt's hands went to Sebastian's hips as he built up speed and power, fascinated with how the cheeks of Sebastian's ass rippled when his pelvis crashed into them. There was a very clear delineation between the golden, tanned skin of his lower back and the firm, paler mounds that accentuated the movement. Kurt knew he wasn't going to last long, but couldn't really coordinate his mind and body to do anything about Sebastian's erection. At the moment, it would be like patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time. "Sebastian," he gasped. "Soon…you, I can't…" Apparently words were failing him as well, as his climax approached._

" _S'okay," said Sebastian. Kurt saw his arm move as Sebastian went to take himself in hand. "I've got it. Just keep going, keep fucking me Kurt. Soon for me too."_

_Watching Sebastian's elbow jerk rapidly pushed Kurt even closer to the edge. He could easily picture what was happening out of his sight, having both watched Sebastian bring himself off with his hand several times, as well as doing the honors himself. He knew what it looked like, how Sebastian would give a twist at the top and drag his fingers over the ruddy head on the way down, how clear fluid would bead at the slit and be used for further lubrication as it was worked over the plump head and straining shaft. He wanted to at least make an attempt to bring Sebastian's orgasm on, to prove that he too could make his partner come first. Knowing how much Sebastian liked it, he took his hands off his hips and brought them to Sebastian's shoulder blades. He dug his short nails in and raked roughly down the sleek lines of Sebastian's back and over his ass, leaving red furrows in their wake. Sebastian yelled something unintelligible, and his entire body started to spasm. Knowing Sebastian was coming, Kurt slammed into him one last time with a shout of his own, emptying himself inside of his lover._

_They collapsed to Kurt's bed in a sweaty tangle of limbs, panting. Sebastian turned his head, kissing Kurt before softly biting his chin. He looked up with gentle fondness in his green eyes again, and Kurt forced himself to remember it was only because he'd enjoyed what Kurt had done for him physically. Giving affectionate afterglow kept Kurt receptive to more sex, and the circle of their arrangement continued to revolve nicely for both him and Sebastian. "So," Kurt said, his breathing finally slowing to where conversation was possible. "Not bad for a first timer?"_

_Sebastian's eyes cleared a bit, a smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. "Nope," he said. "Not bad at all. I like that about you, Kurt. You're one hell of a quick study." He winked. "Especially when it comes to getting me off." With one last peck at Kurt's lips, he turned back so Kurt could pull out more effectively._

"Kurt!"

Jumping a mile at his dad's voice, Kurt realized he'd gotten lost in thought. He finished buttoning up his shirt, grabbing his jacket and tie as he ran out of the room. He'd have to put them on in the car. "Coming!" he said loudly, as he raced to the foot of the stairs where his family stood, looking very surprised at his dishabille. "Sorry, I was texting and got distracted. Let's go, I don't want to make us late."

As it was, they arrived at the Ohio Statehouse just in time. Burt handed off his keys to the valet and bustled his family inside to the Rotunda, where the reception was almost but not quite in full swing. The event was ostensibly an opportunity for various Ohio politicians to have a meet and greet one last time before the Republican and Democratic National Conventions. To keep things more casual, the representatives were encouraged to bring their spouses and older children, to put a more human face on each other before the inevitable mud-slinging and hysterics began. Burt immediately began shaking hands, introducing his family as they made their way across the room. Kurt smiled and remained quiet for the most part. Despite the fact that Burt had never kept his son's sexuality a secret, Kurt always worried that his high voice or mannerisms would cause problems for his father in the political arena. Finn was a much easier sell, despite being his step-son and clearly not the brightest person; but Kurt didn't miss how some people's eyes would skip right over him to the tall, masculine boy on the verge of entering the Armed Services. He just focused on the fact that his dad was doing important things in Congress, things that would make the country a better place for him and other people like him, and Kurt knew he'd do whatever he could to make sure his father succeed.

"Congressman Hummel," said a deep voice. "A pleasure to see you again." Kurt watched his father shake hands with a tall man, dressed in an impeccable suit that he instantly pegged as last year's Perry Ellis ready-to-wear collection.

Burt smiled in a more genuine manner than in the last few introductions. "Same here," he said. "This is my family; my wife, Carole, and my sons Kurt and Finn. Guys, this is States Attorney Stephen Smythe."

Kurt immediately saw the resemblance, once the name was mentioned. Stephen reached for his hand first, shaking it firmly. "It's nice to meet you, Kurt," he said. "You're the first one of Sebastian's co-workers I've gotten a chance to have the honor with. I appreciate you teaching him the ropes."

 _He's taught me a few ropes of my own_ , thought Kurt, trying to control his blush. "Not a problem," he said instead. "He's become a real asset at the Lima Bean. I know Greg is very happy with his performance."

"Surely that's not a surprise to anyone," said Sebastian, coming around from behind his father. "I've had some legendary performances in my day, after all." He grinned at Kurt, holding out his hand. "Hey Kurt. Nice to see you outside of work for a change."

"Sure is," said Kurt, parroting the lines they had worked out ahead of time when they realized they would be at this reception together. He shook Sebastian's hand, ignoring the way the other boy subtly stroked the inside of his wrist. That was Sebastian for you, always trying to push boundaries. Then again, Kurt was struggling to maintain them himself when he took a look at Sebastian in his well cut, charcoal grey suit. The material draped effortlessly over Sebastian's frame, reminding Kurt all too well of what lay underneath. _God, you look good_ , he thought, but what came out instead was what they had rehearsed. "It's nice to be somewhere where someone can get _us_ a latte for once."

There was a burst of laughter from their small group. Sebastian gave a small wave to the side, and within moments a very attractive woman in a chic black dress came up to him, putting her arm around his waist. "You rang, dear?" she said, bumping him slightly with her hip and smiling knowingly.

"I did," said Sebastian. "We're being introduced." He was quiet while his father introduced the other members of the Hummel-Hudson clan, but spoke up when he got to Kurt. "This is my co-worker, Kurt," Sebastian said. "He loves your blog. Kurt, this is my mother, Julia Mason-Smythe."

"I'm a huge fan, I admit," said Kurt. "Your blood orange soufflé with vanilla bean crème freche was an epiphany for me." He shook her hand, remembering that Sebastian was presenting him as a fan and co-worker, not the boy who was currently sleeping with her son. "I apologize in advance for all the gushing I'm going to do. You've just been a real inspiration."

"Gush away," Julia said, laughing. "I never get tired of people telling me I'm wonderful."

"That must be where Sebastian gets it from," said Kurt. He'd meant the words to come out as a good natured dig, but some fondness must have crept in there, because everyone looked at him very strangely. _Oops._ "I'm still trying to perfect my buerre blanc, though. It keeps breaking on me, and I'm not sure why."

"Why don't you two grab a table?" suggested Sebastian. He shrugged when Kurt looked at him, surprised. "I can tell by the look in her eye, she's about to wax poetic about the principles of emulsification and butter temperature. It could take a while."

"Oh, I don't want to take up too much of your time," Kurt said to Julia. "There are probably people you have to say hello to. I've been to a few of these, I know how it is."

Julia looked from her son to her son to her husband, and finally back to Kurt. "I think I've earned a break from pressing the flesh," she said. "I'd love to dish technique with a fellow foodie. As long as your father doesn't mind me stealing you for a bit?"

"Not at all," said Burt. He knew these evenings could be boring and even uncomfortable at times for Kurt, but they both thought it was important to make sure it didn't look like he was being hidden away like a dirty secret. If his son could get some pure enjoyment out of the evening, Burt was all for it. "Take your time. Kurt, you come find us when you're done, okay?"

"Sure thing, Dad," Kurt said.

Julia took Kurt by the arm and guided him towards the tables along the edge of the room. "Sebastian," she said, "when you have a chance, could you pick up a couple of drinks for Kurt and I?"

"Absolutely," said Sebastian. "One Chardonnay, one Diet Coke. Tout de suite, Madame." He started for the bar, not even realizing he'd inadvertently revealed how familiar he was with Kurt's beverage of choice outside of coffee. The Lima Bean didn't even have a soda fountain. When Sebastian got to the packed bar, he put in his order and turned to scan the room while he waited. His eyes kept drifting back to where his mother and Kurt sat, talking animatedly and gesturing with their hands. Julia said something, and when Kurt threw his head back and laughed, Sebastian admired the long line of his pale throat. He felt a stir in his groin, remembering the times he'd nipped and sucked up the slender column. It had only been two days since they'd last been together, but Sebastian found himself wanting Kurt again fiercely.

The last month, most of his life had revolved around two things: work and sex with Kurt. He'd never turned all his sexual energy towards a single person before, though he'd been attracted enough to Blaine to want to try it with him. It was…interesting. He didn't feel any of the boredom or occasional irritation he'd expected to. Kurt's initial responsiveness didn't wane, and he was more open-minded than Sebastian would have guessed. He'd never planned on an arrangement that included hate sex, since he didn't peg Kurt as the type to be into it, but he hadn't thought things would be so amenable between the two of them, either. They had a few things in common though, and it wasn't hard to come up with idle conversation when the two of them were lying in bed, working up the energy for round two or even three. It seemed like the _friends_ part of _friends with benefits_ had somehow happened without either of them really noticing it. Not that Sebastian was losing focus on the more important part, though. His interest was firmly seated in the part that lay to the right of the word _with_ in that particular idom. He'd had sex with guys whose company he'd enjoyed out of bed, but never on an ongoing basis. It was kind of nice, but his priorities were clear.

Like right now. He and Kurt were supposed to get together after work the next day. They usually managed to find a few hours at either of their houses where no one else was home, though they had settled for their cars a couple of times. And once, when their plans to spend the whole night at Sebastian's fell through when his mom canceled her plans, they'd splurged and split the cost of a simple but decent motel room. They still weren't sure where they were going to end up the next day, and Sebastian frowned at the thought. What if they couldn't find a place? He was horny, and he was sure Kurt was too. Maybe they could take the edge off a little tonight, just in case tomorrow didn't work out. It sounded very sensible to him. The drinks were finally delivered, so Sebastian brought them over to the table and set them down, settling into the chair next to Kurt.

"You did not!" Kurt was saying, muffling peals of laughter behind his hand. "You did not say that to him."

"I did," Julia insisted.

"I'm not sure what we're discussing,"said Sebastian, "but whatever it is, if it's about food it's probably true." As a politician's wife, Julia was usually the soul of discretion and diplomacy. Unless the subject was food-related, in which case her filter was shaky at best.

"I was telling Kurt about that time I got a chance to meet Joe Bastainich last year at the Newport Mansions Food and Wine Festival," Julia said.

"Oh my God, that was classic," said Sebastian, snorting with laughter. "His face was priceless."

"Look, ever since I got hooked on Master Chef, I promised myself if I ever got the chance to meet him, I'd ask. Really, I don't even see what's so outrageous about ' _When you smell the contestants' food, are you doing that because you really care about the smell, or because you know how intimidating it is?'"_

"What did he say?" asked Kurt.

"He picked up a canapé from the table in front of it, and took a big whiff," said Julia, trying to catch her breath from the giggling. "Then he said, _'What do you think','_ popped it into his mouth, and walked away."

"I was looking for ice for that burn for an hour," said Sebastian, sniggering. "It was all in the delivery. You could just feel the waves of condescendence rolling off of him."

The three of them sat talking for a while longer, regaling Kurt with stories of some of the more notable encounters they had had with celebrity chefs and the like. Every once in a while, Sebastian would rub his foot teasingly up the back of Kurt's calf under the tablecloth. Knowing the gesture was hidden, Kurt made no attempt to kick him away, or get him to stop. He smiled, laughed and drank his soda, having by far the best time he'd ever had at one of these events. Once his drink was gone, though, he realized something.

"I hate to say it, but I have to excuse myself," Kurt said. "I need to visit the men's room."

They were exactly the words Sebastian had been waiting for. "Oh, me too," he said, despite the fact that his bladder was completely empty. "Mom, you should probably go help Dad. Senator Jarvis's wife has a hold of him, and his eyes are starting to glaze over."

Julia sighed. "I guess you're right," she said. "It's been lovely talking with you, Kurt. My email address is on my blog, and I'd like to stay in touch if you want. I don't often get to meet my son's…co-workers." She smiled, but there was a touch of mischief in it. "Maybe you could come for dinner some night?"

"Yeah, that's a great idea, we'll have to talk about that, Kurt and I," Sebastian said quickly. "Gotta go, kitten bladder and all that." He grabbed Kurt's arm and bustled him towards the front of the room and out of the Rotunda, Kurt barely managing to squeak out a quick goodbye as he was practically dragged away. "Sorry about that," Sebastian said, as they got to the bathroom. "My mom's pretty sharp. I should have figured she might sense we did more than just work together."

"Its fine," said Kurt, going over to the urinal and relieving himself. "I really liked meeting her. She's very nice, you're lucky."

Sebastian stared at Kurt's ass as he bent over slightly to wash his hands. "Don't I know it," he said. As soon as Kurt had moved to the paper towel dispenser and completed drying off, Sebastian grabbed him by the hips from behind. He kissed his neck, pressing his crotch against Kurt's bottom.

"Sebastian," Kurt said chidingly, but his breath caught as the back of his jaw was nipped firmly. "We shouldn't be doing this here."

"If you think two guys messing around in the bathroom of a government building is unheard of," Sebastian murmured, "you haven't been watching the news enough." His hand slid around to the front of Kurt's pants and cupped the mid-sized bulge there. Sebastian licked the shell of Kurt's ear while he rubbed, bringing him from half-hard to erect in no time.

"You shouldn't start something you can't finish," said Kurt, unable to keep from thrusting towards Sebastian's hand. "That's mean."

"Who says I can't finish it?" said Sebastian, letting go to turn Kurt around. He kissed Kurt deeply. "Try me."

"I'm not having sex with you in a public bathroom, Sebastian," Kurt said. "I know it's kind of a thing for you, but it's not happening with me."

"I wasn't even going to try," Sebastian said lightly. "I know you a little better than that. I've got another place in mind. Come on."

They exited the bathroom, but instead of heading to the ballroom, Sebastian directed Kurt down the hallway in the opposite direction. About halfway down, he looked both ways and opened up a door, tugging Kurt by the wrist through it. It was pitch dark at first, but then there was a click and the room was flooded with light. Kurt looked around, not seeing much except a large room with boxes and a few chairs in it. The walls were bare, and the floor was covered with a thin, cheap carpet. "What is this place?" asked Kurt.

"It's a storage room, for most of the stuff that's in the Rotunda right now," said Sebastian.

"How did you ever find it?" asked Kurt.

"I was at a gala here last year, bored out of my fucking mind," Sebastian said. "This girl I know, a Congressman's daughter who gets dragged to these things too sometimes, showed it to me."

"Why?" asked Kurt.

"She'd snuck a bottle of vodka off the bar, and didn't feel like drinking alone," said Sebastian. "We did a few shots and bitched about the hardships of being a political brat. I think she invited me hoping we'd get it on, but she was a pretty good sport when I made it clear she was missing some essential equipment from my perspective." He leered at the front of Kurt's slightly tented pants.

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea," said Kurt. "What if they wonder where we are?"

"We'll make it quick," Sebastian said. "You blow me, and then I'll return the favor." Seeing that Kurt wasn't nearly convinced, Sebastian put his arms around him and murmured hotly in his ear. "Plus tomorrow, when we have more time? I'll rim you for as long as you want. Hours, even."

Kurt groaned. While he wasn't up for putting his tongue on anyone's asshole personally, he'd discovered that being on the receiving end was quite wonderful. The thought of Sebastian attending to him like that for as long as he wanted was certainly appealing. He considered, but then stopped short. "I can't," he said, looking around the room. "What would I do with the come? There aren't even any tissues in here."

As adventurous as Kurt had become, there were certain things the Sebastian had never been able to sell him on the idea of. Swallowing while giving head was, without a doubt, number one on the list. He'd tried it once with Blaine, and nearly tossed his cookies on the sheets. It wasn't so much the taste, but the texture. _If you don't mind swallowing something that feels like someone blew their nose in your mouth, be my guest_ , Kurt had told Sebastian when the subject had come up. _But don't expect me to. It's gross. I don't like it and I won't do it._ Sebastian had agreed to always warn Kurt when he was about to come during oral sex, so he could pull off in time. He'd kept his word, without exception.

Sebastian began to pepper tiny kisses over Kurt's face. "I'll take care of it, I promise," he said. "Let me come in your mouth. But I'll give you a place to put it after," he said quickly, when Kurt tensed. "Please, Kurt, just trust me. I'll get us both off so good before we have to get back."

Kurt did trust Sebastian when it came to sex. He would try to press limits if Kurt seemed indecisive, but he'd never tried to force or trick him into doing anything. It was one of the reasons it hadn't been that difficult to fall into their arrangement. "Okay," said Kurt, giving in and sinking to his knees. He helped Sebastian undo his dress pants, reaching in to pull out his dick and hook the waistband of his underwear under his balls. Giving a few brief licks to the head, he sucked Sebastian's length into his mouth, his fist firmly curled around the base.

"Fuck, that's nice," said Sebastian. Watching Kurt suck his cock with that pretty mouth of his was one of his favorite sights. "Go hard and fast, baby. I know we don't have a lot of time, but believe me, I'm not going to take long."

Kurt bobbed up and down on Sebastian's erection, breathing through his nose and taking as much as he could. His skills in this area had grown quite a bit, and by now he was fully capable of delivering a lengthy blow job, until Sebastian's thighs trembled with pleasure and he was reduced to nonsensical rambling about the glory of Kurt's mouth. But this was neither the time nor place for that, so he concentrated on sucking strongly while massaging the base, which seemed to be the most direct route to orgasm.

"Your mouth is so hot and wet," Sebastian moaned. "Just made to suck cock. Keep going, I'm getting there." He started to thread his fingers into Kurt's silky hair, which he loved to pull gently at whenever Kurt went down on him.

Kurt pulled off quickly. "No, Sebastian," he said. "Don't mess my hair up. They'll know what we were doing for sure."

Sebastian withdrew his hands. "Right, sorry," he said. "Just got carried away. Go back, I won't do it again." He thrust forward in Kurt's hand a couple of times to encourage him. With one last warning look, Kurt got back to the task at hand, and soon Sebastian found himself dancing along the edge of completion. "So close," he groaned. "Touch my balls."

Kurt moved his hand from the bottom of Sebastian's dick down to the two small globes beneath. He rolled the testicles in his palm just the way Sebastian liked it, which was a lot more aggressively than how he liked his own package handled. He continued the strong suction on Sebastian's cock, speeding up a little.

Sebastian began to pant, pupils dilated and gaze burning into the top of Kurt's head. "Ah, ah, here it comes…unh!" he grunted, spilling into Kurt's mouth for the first time.

As soon as Kurt heard the warning, he pushed the back of his tongue up, blocking the entrance to his throat. He tasted the warm jets of semen on the front of his tongue, salty and thick. When it seemed like Sebastian was done he pulled off, lips pressed together tightly. He looked up expectantly, finding Sebastian breathing heavily with his eyes closed, a satisfied smile on his face. He knew the boy probably needed a few moments to recover, but in the meantime Kurt was stuck with a mouthful of jizz, and he really wanted to get rid of it. He tried to make a noise. "Mmmf!"

Sebastian opened his eyes and looked down at Kurt, still kneeling at his feet with a closed mouth and irritated expression. It was so hot, though, knowing that Kurt's talented tongue was coated with his sticky come. Sebastian smiled, dropping to his own knees without even bothering to do up his pants, and pressed his mouth to Kurt's, whose eyes widened with surprise.

Kurt could feel Sebastian's tongue pushing at the seam of his lips. Surely he didn't mean to do what Kurt was suspecting. But after a particularly strong poke, Kurt opened his mouth, and Sebastian's tongue swept in to scoop the come into his own mouth. Kurt hardened painfully in his pants, moaning, as Sebastian swallowed and returned to make sure he'd collected every drop.

Sebastian pulled his mouth away with a brief, soft parting kiss. Kurt was staring at him with a mix of astonishment and desire. He had the same expression every time Sebastian surprised him during sex, which was quite often and incredibly cute. "Told you I'd give you someplace to put it," he said, licking his bottom lip. "I'm a man of my word."

"You sure are," said Kurt. He still was still dumbfounded that Sebastian had swallowed his own come, that he appeared to enjoy it, and that it turned Kurt on even more.

"Speaking of my word," Sebastian said, taking Kurt's shoulders and urging him upwards, "I think I promised to return the favor." Instead of unbuckling Kurt's belt, though, he unzipped the fly and slid his hand in. Finding the slit in Kurt's briefs, he carefully worked his erection through it, and then past the gaping zipper. Giving the head a quick lave, he sank down, engulfing Kurt with his mouth.

"Oh, shit," said Kurt. There was something so erotic about Sebastian sucking on his prick while he was fully clothed. Sebastian kneeling between his polished dress shoes, pants still undone and soft cock hanging out, with his mouth stuffed full of Kurt's hardness. It was so whorish, so downright _dirty,_ it melted his control. He started to thrust. "I want to…can I…" he asked. Sometimes it was still hard for him to vocalize his needs, even though he was always encouraged to ask bluntly for what he wanted.

Sebastian released Kurt's cock with a pop, resting the shaft against his cheek and rubbing like a kitten against it. "You want to fuck my face, baby?" he asked. Kurt nodded, wordless. His cheeks were high with color, and there was the shine of perspiration on his brow. "That's what you want, to bring you off? Be my guest." Sebastian took Kurt in his mouth again, bringing his hands to Kurt's hips and pulling slightly.

That was all it took. Kurt started hammering into Sebastian's mouth, and he knew it would be no time before he found his release. Moisture gathered at the corners of Sebastian's eyes from the constant battering of his soft palate, and he would choke occasionally, fighting his gag reflex. Kurt didn't know why it aroused him so much, why feeling so powerful and in control of another person felt so good. But God, did it, and he felt himself rushing towards orgasm rapidly. Kurt didn't even warn Sebastian, just grabbed the back of his head and slammed his hips forward, emptying himself down his throat as Sebastian heaved and gagged around him. His come was flowing down Sebastian's throat, down into his stomach to combine with Sebastian's own, and the thought made his weak knees even weaker. _How did I get so damn kinky?_ he asked himself. Of course as soon as he looked down he saw the answer in Sebastian's damp eyes, his mouth still gently working Kurt's softening cock. Kurt smiled, bringing his hand to Sebastian's cheek and withdrawing from his mouth. _So I'm kinky now_ , he thought. _I guess I can live with that. There are much worse things to be, I guess._

Sebastian stood, wiping at his cheeks and mouth. "Damn, Kurt," he said, his voice rough from his irritated throat. "You're fucking hot when you just take what you want. You know that?" He closed up his pants and fastened his belt, as Kurt tucked himself back inside and zipped up his fly.

"I do now," said Kurt, happy that Sebastian had equally enjoyed the roughness. It was something he was looking forward to exploring further, when they had more time. He kissed Sebastian, pulling away reluctantly. "We should probably get going. We've been gone for a while."

"Okay," agreed Sebastian, taking Kurt's hand as they left the room, turning the lights off along the way. He kept holding it until they were able to see the rest rooms, then dropped it. "Do I look okay?" he asked, tugging at the bottom of his jacket.

Kurt gave him a once over. "You look fine," said Kurt. "How about me?"

Sebastian looked at Kurt. At a brief glance he looked perfectly normal, but Sebastian could see how his lips were a little plumper from being kissed, see the slight glaze of sexual gratification in his aquamarine eyes. He felt a thud in his chest, accompanied by a clench in his belly. Unsure of what it meant, he put on a smile. Hopefully the finger foods being passed at the reception hadn't gone bad or something. He had a shift to work tomorrow, followed by fucking Kurt's brains out at length afterwards, and the last thing he needed was food poisoning. "You look perfect," Sebastian said, feeling the sensations again as Kurt visibly glowed from the compliment. _What the hell was that?_

"All right, let's go back and find our families," Kurt said. "If I don't see you again before we leave, have a good night. I'll see you at work tomorrow." He walked into the Rotunda as Sebastian stayed behind for a few beats, so no one would see them coming in together. As it turned out, they didn't get a chance to see each other until the next day. Kurt had scanned the room for the Smythes as soon as Burt said they could start heading home, but they either weren't in sight or had already left.

Kurt and Sebastian worked the morning shift smoothly together. By now they had a set routine, and it made the morning fly by. Sebastian told Kurt he had found out on the car ride home that his mother had a spa appointment that afternoon for a massage followed by a manicure, so his house would be clear for a few hours. So they took orders and served drinks, occasionally flashing a secret smile at each other now and again. Megan showed up to help cover the lunch rush, enthusing about the season finale of Teen Wolf and once again insisting that both Kurt and Sebastian check it out. Everything was going swimmingly, until around eleven-thirty am, when Greg walked out of his office with a very serious look on his face.

"Sebastian, can I see you in my office?" he said.

Sebastian frowned. "Sure," he said. "Did I do something wrong?" He'd never seen his usually affable boss so grave. He felt Kurt come up behind him, and place a hand at the small of his back where it would be hidden from Greg's view.

"No, of course not," said Greg. "I just need to see you privately. Kurt, can you and Megan hold things down for a while?"

Kurt felt dread curl into his stomach. Three people were generally required to run the lunch rush without incident. If Greg was taking Sebastian away right before the crunch, whatever the reason was couldn't have been good news. "Of course," Kurt said. "I hope everything is okay?"

Greg turned without answering and walked back to his office. Sebastian looked at Kurt and shrugged. "Wish me luck, I guess," he said.

Kurt fought the urge to grab Sebastian's hand. "I'm sure it's nothing," he lied. "You can fill me in later."

Sebastian went into Greg's office and closed the door. Greg stood next to his desk looking very concerned. "What is it?" he asked, a little nervously. He couldn't think of anything he'd messed up too badly, but all he could think was that for some reason, he was about to get fired. "You're kind of freaking me out, Greg."

"You need to go home, Sebastian," said Greg. "Your mother called, and she needs you there. I called Marc in, and he'll help us cover lunch."

Sebastian's heart dropped into his stomach. His mom was no drama queen or helpless flower, and he couldn't imagine what could have happened that would necessitate her making that kind of call. If she needed to get in touch with him while he was working, she just texted him and assumed he'd respond when he got the chance. "Did she tell you why?" he asked.

The answer was plain on Greg's face, his expression sifting from concern to something that looked terrifyingly like sympathy. "I think you should really hear something like this from her, Sebastian," Greg said. "Go home, please."

Sebastian's mind was racing now. Had his house caught on fire? Or had someone broken in, maybe hurting his mom in the process? Or was it his dad, had there been a car accident? Anxiety flooded him, and he grabbed Greg's shoulder. "No, you have to tell me," he insisted. "I can't drive all the way home worrying about what's waiting for me there. I'll go crazy. Please, Greg."

Greg felt how badly Sebastian's hand was trembling where it clutched his shoulder. He sighed, hoping he was doing the right thing. He'd never had anything like this happen before during the workday with one of his employees. "Maybe you should sit down," Greg said.

"I don't want to sit down," said Sebastian, trying not to raise his voice too much. It was hard to stay calm, though. "Just please tell me," he pleaded.

Greg couldn't take the frightened expression on Sebastian's countenance any longer. "Your mother got a call from overseas this morning. From France." The color drained from Sebastian's face, and Greg dreaded telling him the next part. "Your grandfather was taken to the hospital last night. He had an undetected brain aneurysm, and it burst."

Sebastian went numb. His grandfather, who had always been so healthy and young-looking? Who Sebastian had called Grand-père his entire life; who had helped give Sebastian the best summer of his life last year, filled with food, music, and fun? Who knew just how to let Sebastian spread his wings fully, while still giving him a safe place to land? He was so sick he was in the hospital? "Is he okay?" he asked, the words sounding hollow. "Will he be able to come home soon?"

Greg's heart twinged with empathy. "Sebastian," he said, hating himself for being the one to have to do this. "He didn't make it. I'm so sorry."

Sebastian understood all the words that were coming out of Greg's mouth separately, but strung together like that they made no sense. "What do you mean?" he said, the fog of unreality getting thicker.

"He passed away," Greg said. "I don't know any of the details, really. Your mom was very upset. You should be with your family right now Sebastian. You're all going to need each other."

"He's dead?" asked Sebastian, tonelessly. He'd never been in shock before, and didn't recognize the symptoms. He felt like maybe he should be more upset, like his mom apparently was. Why wasn't he crying? He loved his grandfather so much, shouldn't he want to cry and scream and punch the walls?

"Yes," said Greg, "He is. Come on, I'll walk you to your car." After a couple of robotic steps, he stopped right before the door. "On second thought, I'll drive you home myself. We'll find a way to get your car back to you. You shouldn't be driving like this, you'll get into an accident." He put his arm around Sebastian, guiding him out into the restaurant, which was starting to fill.

Kurt had been struggling to keep up with the line, distracted by looking at the office door continuously out of the corner of his eye. When he the door finally open he was relieved, but it was short lived. Sebastian looked terrible, his face almost grey, and looking as if Greg's arm around his shoulder was the only thing keeping him on his feet. Without even thinking twice, he left the register and rounded the counter, tuning out the customer's complaints at being abandoned. He stopped in front of Sebastian and Greg. "What happened?" he asked, unthinkingly bringing his hand to Sebastian's wan cheek. He didn't even notice how Greg's eyes widened at the tender gesture.

Sebastian came back to himself a bit at Kurt's touch and voice. His eyes focused on Kurt's worried face. "My grandfather died," he said, simply. "I have to go home." There were murmurs of sympathy from customers close enough to hear, but he could barely hear them.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," said Kurt. He knew how much Sebastian adored his maternal grandparents, having heard many stories about them and Sebastian's adventures in France while they whiled away the refractory period in bed. Tears came to his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. Can I do anything to help?" It was killing him not to gather Sebastian into his arms and hug him tightly. His lover's cocky confidence and charm had vanished, leaving a broken, empty shell in its place. Kurt had never seen him like this before, and it was unutterably sad.

Sebastian looked at Kurt blankly. "I don't think so," he said. "I'm just going to go home. My mom wants me to come home."

"It'll be okay, Kurt," said Greg, seeing how worried Kurt was. "I'm going to drive him, and I'll make sure he gets there safely. Just get back behind the counter and do the best you can until Marc gets here. Give out as many free drink coupons as you need to. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Kurt stood and watched as Greg and Sebastian shuffled towards the doorway, the line of customers parting to let them through. When they had gone through the door and disappeared past the edge of the storefront window, Kurt sighed sadly and went back to the counter.

"Are you okay?" asked Megan.

"Not really," said Kurt. "But there's no time for that now, I guess. Do you mind if I switch onto drinks?" He didn't think he could manage register level customer interaction with his emotions flying all over the place. Megan nodded, patting him on the arm, and Kurt buried himself in work as much as he possibly could for the rest of the afternoon.

When he got home, he briefly greeted Finn and said he was going upstairs to take a nap. Climbing onto his bed, he texted Sebastian's number. _Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?_ Sebastian had always responded to Kurt's texts quickly, but this time his phone sat still and silent in his hand. It made sense, he told himself. A death in the family was often complicated and messy, and it was probably doubled when the person who had passed lived thousands of miles away. He tried to distract himself by watching TV and working on some sketches, but his gaze kept unerringly going back to his phone. When he still hadn't heard back from Sebastian by the time he was ready for bed, he decided to text him again. He didn't want to put any pressure on the other boy, but he wanted to make it clear that he was concerned about him. _I hope you're okay. Can I come visit you tomorrow? Offer my condolences to your family?_ There was no answer even after twenty minutes, so he went to bed, tossing and turning and listening for the buzz of an incoming text for far too long. When he woke up in the morning he grabbed for his phone, even though he was still bleary from a restless sleep. He saw that he finally had a text from Sebastian. He opened it, unconsciously holding his breath.

_Sorry, no. Leaving for Paris this morning. Not sure when I'll be back._

Kurt stared at the phone, an unexplained feeling of loss coming over him. He carefully placed the phone back on his bedside table, then curled up under the covers. It had been a long time since he'd found himself this way, trying to go back to sleep and ignore the increasing dampness of the pillowcase beneath his cheek. He'd almost forgotten how much it really, totally sucked.


	8. Chapter 8

The next two weeks passed slowly for Kurt. He hadn't realized how much of his time had been spent on his arrangement with Sebastian. There were hours, apparently, that centered around planning for sex, talking or texting about what they were going to do to each other, and of course, actually doing the deed. With that whole part of his life abruptly removed, there was a gaping hole left that surprised him with its size and intensity. It wasn't just the loss of the sex itself, which he dealt with mostly by masturbating daily to memories of their encounters. But he missed, more than he could have ever guessed, was the intimacy of being in a sexual relationship with another person. Kurt missed the texts, the banter, the teasing that lead up to the two of them bringing each other pleasure. He missed working beside Sebastian, the little non-verbal cues they had that made the service run smoothly and with little stress. He missed the press of his bare skin against Sebastian's, and the conversations about a million insignificant things as they laid entwined in bed together between bouts of sweaty sex. Basically, Kurt just missed Sebastian, in a way that he hadn't anyone else before.

There wasn't a total lack of contact. Sebastian would send him a text every two or three days, usually something simple and factual like _Meeting with the lawyer this afternoon_ , or _On our way to the funeral. It's raining._ Kurt always replied the moment he saw the text on his phone, but between work and the time difference, he never seemed to get them until an hour or more after they came in. Sebastian never responded to Kurt's responses, which usually boiled down to _I'm so sorry_ or _I hope you're okay_. There was no way for Kurt to say what he really wanted to in a text. What could he type on a phone that could express how much he wished that he could be there for Sebastian? How he wished he could offer him comfort, even if it was just his body making Sebastian forget his sadness for a little while? How work wasn't the same without him, and the way his chest would ache when he turned to roll his eyes over a difficult customer and Sebastian wasn't there to smile and return it? And how he was unable to stop wondering if Sebastian was getting his sexual needs taken care of by other men, since Kurt wasn't around to satisfy them?

Kurt's family had noticed that his mood had changed one hundred and eighty degrees in the past two weeks. Burt had heard through the political grapevine about the sudden death of Stephen Smythe's father-in-law in France, and after having observed Kurt and Sebastian together at the gala, put two and two together fairly easily. It had not escaped his notice that it had taken his son quite some time to return after exiting the Rotunda with his co-worker, no matter how discrete the boys thought they were being. One night after watching Kurt pick listlessly at his dinner, still wearing his Lima Bean uniform because he hadn't had the energy to change out of it, he decided to confront Kurt. He knocked softly on Kurt's bedroom door. "Buddy?" he said. "Can I come in for a minute?"

"Okay," came Kurt's response, flat and tired sounding.

Burt entered to find Kurt on his bed, still fully clothed in the uniform he'd been wearing since first thing that morning. His laptop was on the mattress next to him with the lid closed, and the TV was silent. Kurt's cell phone lay dark on his lap, his fingers curled around it protectively. "You've been pretty down the last couple of weeks," Burt said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. "Anything you want to get off your chest?"

"I'm fine," said Kurt, not meeting his father's eyes. "Just tired. It's been hard to get used to working so many hours again, with Sebastian being away from work."

"That the only reason you're noticing he's gone?" asked Burt mildly, the ghost of a smile touching his lips as Kurt's eyes shot to his guiltily. He snorted softly. "I know I'm not around as much as I used to be. But I like to think I can still tell when something's going on with you. I expected you to get even more withdrawn after you broke up with Blaine, but instead, it seemed like there was a weight lifted off your shoulders. And then the last month or so, you've been happier than I've seen you since graduation. I wasn't sure why, but whatever the reason, I was grateful for it. I figured you'd tell me why in your own time, but after seeing you and Sebastian together the other night, I think I already know at least one reason."

"It's not what you think," said Kurt, forcing himself to give voice to the denial he and Sebastian had agreed upon.

"Isn't it?" asked Burt. "You trying to tell me you guys don't have feelings for each other? Because it sure looked that way to me."

The sadness and pain bubbled up in Kurt's chest. "Well, you're wrong," he flung out, his blue eyes brightening with tears. "We don't have _feelings_ for each other. We just sleep together. Happy now?"

Burt flinched. He knew his son wasn't a virgin, after Carole had found a used condom in Kurt's bedroom trash can back when he was dating Blaine, and told him about it. Knowing that, Burt had suspected Kurt and Sebastian might have a physical relationship. Kurt was eighteen; he had a job and a completely separate life outside of his family, and was well within his rights to be with someone however he wanted. But his words still threw Burt off balance. "Kurt…" he started, but Kurt cut him off.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Kurt said, agitated. He got up off the bed and started to pace, his arms crossed around himself defensively. "I know you never wanted me to do that, to sleep around like some kind of slut."

"Hey!" said Burt loudly. "I never used that word. No one has the right to call you a name like that, Kurt, no matter what you do. Not even you."

"No?" said Kurt spitefully. Usually, he appreciated the fact that his dad was so understanding, and always came to his defense. But the shame of disappointing Burt was mixing in with all of his other complicated feelings, and he lashed out at the one person he had never wanted to. "We've been sneaking around for over a month. We don't go on dates. We go to his house or come here when no one's home, and we have sex. I don't love him, and he doesn't love me, but I sleep with him anyway and I don't even feel bad about it. What does that make me, if not a slut?"

"It makes you human, Kurt," said Burt. "Have I ever made you feel like you can't be? That I expect you to be perfect, and follow everything I've ever said to the letter with no exceptions? Because if I have, I'm sorry. I never had that expectation, that you wouldn't go your own way and make your own decisions. Even if they aren't always the ones I would make for you."

Kurt tried again to push Burt away, not even knowing why he was trying so hard when all he wanted to do was collapse into his father's arms. "You can't tell me you're happy about this," he said. "That you approve of me sleeping with Sebastian like that."

"No, I can't tell you that," said Burt. "But what I can tell you is that it's none of my business. I tried to raise you to make good decisions for yourself. To be safe, and be able to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and be okay with the guy looking back out at you. You're not a kid anymore, Kurt. I want you to be happy, I'll always want that; but how you get there at this point is up to you."

And with that, Kurt's resolve to hold Burt at arm's length broke. He covered his face, bursting into tears, and quickly felt Burt's strong arms along with the familiar scent of motor oil and Lava soap surrounding him. "I love you, dad," he choked out. "I'm so sorry if I've disappointed you."

Burt let Kurt cry a few moments longer, then pulled away so they could look each other in the eye. "Never," he said reassuringly. Kurt smiled through his tears, and his sobs dried up into sniffles. Burt grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and handed it to Kurt. "Now," he said. "Why don't you tell me what's got you so blue since Sebastian left for France? Because I'm pretty sure it's not because you have to work his shifts, or because he's not around for you to have fun with."

Kurt thought about it for a minute. "I miss him," he said. "And I know he's hurting, but there's nothing I can do to help. I don't even know if he would want my help. I don't know if he wants anything from me besides…you know."

Burt steeled himself. As a father, it was hard for him to discuss things like this with Kurt. There was a time when the fact that Kurt was gay played into the issue, but after seeing his son navigate a loving relationship with Blaine, he felt like he saw Kurt's relationships the same was as if he were interested in girls. But still, when it came to talking about sex and emotions with your child, no matter how old, it was never the easiest thing. "You want more than that with him, then?" he asked.

Kurt closed his eyes. "I don't know," he said. "We just sort of fell into this whole thing. I never expected to care about Sebastian. I didn't want to be his boyfriend. It never bothered me that no one knew we were together, or that we didn't go to the movies or Breadstix. I don't think I realized how much he meant to me, until I woke up one day and he wasn't here. It was so different with Blaine. He had my heart from the moment we met, and I wanted everyone to know it. But Sebastian…he crept in. And I don't even know if he has the slightest interest in being there."

"But he is," said Burt. It wasn't a question.

"Apparently so," said Kurt. "And now I don't know what to do. We have an arrangement, not a relationship. I don't know if that can change, or if it's even a good idea to try and change it. I just know that I miss him so much, and I'd give anything to be with him right now."

As if on cue, Kurt's phone lit up on the bed, piping out the chorus of "Light My Candle" from Rent. Burt wasn't familiar with the tune, but the way the darkness raced out of Kurt's eyes was a dead giveaway as to who the incoming text was from. "You should probably check that," Burt said conversationally.

Kurt ran over to the bed, grabbing his phone and thumbing for the text eagerly. Once he read it, his face took on an expression that was half hope, half fear. "Oh," he said.

"Everything okay?" asked Burt.

In response, Kurt flipped the phone around, showing his father the text. _Coming home today. Well, tomorrow your time. I'll call you when I get home._

Sleep was elusive for Kurt that night. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling and wondering what it would be like when he and Sebastian saw each other again. Their time apart had caused Kurt to question how much of his attraction and attachment to Sebastian was purely physical; was it possible Sebastian had been pondering the same thoughts? Had he missed Kurt, even a little bit? Of course Sebastian was in mourning for his grandfather, but had he wished, even for a moment, that Kurt was there with him? Sighing, Kurt clicked on the bedside lamp and sat up. He reached into the drawer of the bedside stand and took out his sketchbook and a box of colored pencils.

Kurt had begun sketching from the time he'd developed an interest in fashion. Whenever he wanted to make an item inspired by what he'd seen in fashion magazines, he would start by drawing it. He couldn't really draw faces very well, and usually left them blank. But he was able to instinctively capture the drape of fabric on a human form, or translate the prints he'd thought up into a visual example on the page. With the exception of a very special set of sketches he'd put together two months ago, drawing was usually something he did just because he enjoyed it, and could relax him when he was feeling on edge. Kurt worked the pencils over the paper, envisioning a casual menswear look perfect for a Fall day; plum chinos, a coordinating button down plaid shirt, and a gray knitted cap. It wasn't really the sort of outfit he'd ever wear himself, but it was very on trend, and would be appealing to the type of man who wanted to look fashionable in a way that didn't look like he was trying too hard at it. When he was done with the sketch, he groaned in realization. He had drawn exactly the kind of outfit Sebastian would look stunning in, just like almost every other menswear sketch he'd done over the past month. _Admit it, Kurt_ , he said to himself. _You want to dress him up. You know, like people like to do with their boyfriends. You want to be more than just the guy he hooks up with. You want to be his_ _ **boyfriend**_ _. God help you._ Tossing the pad and pencils back into the drawer, Kurt turned off the light and pushed his head under the pillow, trying to will his racing mind and heart into sleep

Because of the time difference between Paris and Lima, and due to a long flight followed by an hour's drive home from the Dayton International airport, it was nearly eight pm the next day before Kurt heard from Sebastian. He jumped up from the couch where he had been watching an episode of Hell's Kitchen, running up the stairs to his room and trying to get his breath under control before answering. "Hello?" he managed to get out, without sounding too embarrassingly breathless.

"Hi Kurt," said Sebastian. Kurt's skin prickled pleasantly at the sound, after such a prolonged absence. "How's it going?"

"Not bad," said Kurt. _Not anymore, at least_. "It's nice to hear your voice again."

"Yours too," said Sebastian.

 _Did you miss me? I missed you_. "How was your flight?" Kurt said.

Sebastian gave a scratchy-sounding laugh. "Really, really fucking long," he said. "I'm glad to be back home. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed for a change."

"You sound so tired," said Kurt. _I wish I could lie down in that bed with you, just to watch you sleep._

"My body thinks it's four am," said Sebastian. "I slept a little on the plane, but not much. I'm really beat."

"I shouldn't keep you," said Kurt, even though part of him was disappointed that their long awaited conversation would be so brief. But Sebastian sounded exhausted, and his concern won out. "You need to catch up on your sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

"I was thinking I could come over then," said Sebastian. Kurt's heart leapt at the hopefulness he thought he sensed in Sebastian's voice. "Is your place available? We brought Grand-mère home with us to stay for a while, so my house is kind of low on privacy at the moment."

"Um, yeah…I think so," said Kurt. "Dad and Carol both leave for work around eight am. And Finn's been helping Puck with his pool cleaning business, trying to save up a little money before he ships off next month. I don't work until three, so maybe you could come over around nine?" A thought occurred to him. "I could make breakfast."

"Nah, don't go to all that bother," said Sebastian. "My appetite's been a little off lately. I'll have a granola bar or something before I leave the house."

"Okay," said Kurt. "I'll see you around nine, then?" Maybe he could talk Sebastian into having a little cereal and juice. He'd have to go downstairs and make sure that Finn hadn't cleaned them out of both since that morning. He didn't like the idea of Sebastian so tired, and not eating properly after such a long trip.

"Nine sounds great," said Sebastian, the trailing off into a yawn.

"And on that note, you need to hit the bricks, mister," said Kurt.

"I guess so," said Sebastian. "Hey Kurt?"

Kurt felt a flood of warmth at the way Sebastian's voice had softened further. "Yeah?"

There was a long pause. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow," Sebastian said. "I missed…I missed being with you."

Kurt's heart lurched abruptly. "I missed being with you too," he said, his voice lowering to almost a whisper. His throat tightened. "So much."

"Good night, Kurt," said Sebastian quietly.

"Good night, Sebastian," Kurt responded. "I'm glad you're home, safe and sound."

"Mmmm…me too," said Sebastian.

Kurt chuckled. "You sound half-asleep," he chided. "Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning." Kurt disconnected, knowing otherwise they'd keep going back and forth for a half-hour or more. It wouldn't have been the first time neither one of them seemed to want to hang up after an evening phone call. Kurt lay on his bed smiling, feeling warmer and happier than he had since Sebastian's mother had called the Lima Bean.

The next morning Kurt was up early, making pancakes for his family before they all left the house. Burt raised an eyebrow when Kurt announced that he had made them all to-go lunch bags as well. He tried not to think about why Kurt wanted to make it as unlikely as possible that any of them would need to come home for lunch that day.

As soon as Burt, Carol and Finn were out the door, Kurt ran up to his room to change. Normally when Sebastian was coming over, Kurt chose his clothing based on comfort and ease of removal. Usually soft shorts or yoga pants, with some sort of t-shirt. While there was nothing wrong with that, this was the first time Sebastian would be seeing him in two weeks, so he wanted to put at least some effort in. Kurt unearthed his loosest pair of jeans, which were snug fitting but not nearly as painted on in fit as his usual skinny jeans. In the back of his closet he kept some old t-shirts that he'd outgrown since puberty had finally kicked into high gear for him a couple of years ago. He donned his grey Altru Apparel shirt with the different moustache graphics running down the front. The shirt was very tight on him now, clinging to his shoulders and chest in a way he never imagined his body could look when he originally bought it. But it was super soft from many washings, and comfortable despite the taut fit. Kurt left his feet bare, and was just running a bit of texturizing paste through his hair to spike it slightly when he heard the doorbell ring.

Kurt forced himself to walk as calmly as possible down the stairs. While he wanted Sebastian to know he was eager to see him again, it wouldn't do to reach the front door panting like he'd been running laps. He could at least make an attempt to be cool and collected when he opened the door. Pausing for just a moment in the front hallway, he reached for the knob and pulled the door open.

Sebastian stood on Kurt's doorstep, more casually dressed than Kurt had ever seen him. Ratty sneakers, light jeans with a rip in the knee, and a dark blue and scarlet Dalton Academy Owls Lacrosse sweatshirt (what was up with that school's obsession with birds anyway?) completed his ensemble, which looked like he'd picked up whatever was lying on the floor next to his bed before coming over. Sebastian also appeared to have neglected his shaving routine for at least a few days. But in that moment, Kurt didn't think he'd ever seen a more welcome, more wonderful sight. Sebastian's green eyes seemed to nearly glow as they ran all over every inch of Kurt in a way that was almost tactile. The two boys stood frozen in the doorway, drinking the sight of each other in without speaking a word. Sebastian broke first, a tiny twitch of his hands the only warning before he lunged at Kurt, pushing him back through the doorway. Their mouths met as Sebastian spun Kurt around, slamming the front door shut by crushing Kurt up against it.

Kurt inhaled Sebastian's now familiar scent; his body wash, deodorant, and the unique muskiness that Sebastian's skin seemed to naturally emit. Sloppily dressed as he was, Sebastian had obviously taken the time to shower before coming over, and his freshly washed, product-free hair felt especially silky between Kurt's fingers. He'd re-lived the feel and taste of Sebastian's mouth and tongue mentally for two weeks, but the reality was even better than he remembered. Kurt moaned, breaking the kiss. "Welcome back," he gasped, as Sebastian dove for his neck.

"Best kind of welcome ever," mumbled Sebastian, against the skin he was currently nibbling on. "God, I missed this."

Reaching for control, Kurt gently guided Sebastian's mouth away by tugging lightly on his hair. "Me too," Kurt said. "But you're here now." He cupped Sebastian's cheek, rubbing against the bristly facial hair.

"Sorry," said Sebastian.

"Don't be," said Kurt. "It's not really such a bad look for you." He gave Sebastian's lips a quick peck. "I know you said not to go to any trouble, but I made pancakes this morning for my family. There's some left over if you're hungry."

Sebastian smiled wolfishly. "Baby," he said, "there's only one thing I want in my mouth right now, and it's definitely not pancakes."

Although the smile and the leering words were typically Sebastian, Kurt couldn't help but feel like something was a little off. Sebastian's eyes glittered, but they weren't warm and fond the way Kurt had gotten used to seeing them. It was as if Sebastian's smile wasn't quite reaching his eyes, for some reason. And speaking of Sebastian's eyes, Kurt noticed for the first time the sleepless, bruised-looking smudges beneath them. "I'll bet," he said lightly, drawing away but linking their hand together as he did so. "But we've got plenty of time. Do you want to sit on the couch and catch up a little first?"

"Come on, Kurt ," said Sebastian. "Don't be a tease. We both know what I'm here for."

Kurt felt a prickle of apprehension. He didn't like the way that sounded at all. But Sebastian was probably still tired and out of sorts, so Kurt gave him the benefit of the doubt. "Of course," said Kurt. "I just meant…if you wanted to talk, I'm up for that too."

Sebastian started backing down the hallway towards the staircase, pulling at Kurt's hands. "I appreciate that," he said, starting up the stairs. "Let's go up to your room. Any talking that needs to be done, we can do there."

Kurt allowed himself to be pulled up the stairs and into his bedroom. The feeling that something wasn't quite right was growing. Sebastian wasn't saying or doing anything terribly out of character, but somehow his energy was all wrong. The playful, almost giddy eagerness was missing, replaced by something that was a little more desperate and demanding. It set Kurt's senses on edge a little, making it hard for him to relax into their usual routine. "Sebas-" he started to say, but the other boy's name was instantly cut off by the hard press of lips against his the moment they crossed the threshold. Once again, he found himself flattened against a doorway, but it was a little less appealing than it had been downstairs. Sebastian pushed his tongue into Kurt's mouth with the same skill as always, but it felt different, more intrusive to Kurt in his current mood. He pulled his mouth away, feeling like for the first time since they had become lovers, he and Sebastian were on totally different pages. The intimacy of even last night's phone conversation was nowhere to be found. "I thought we were going to talk?" Kurt said.

"Kurt," Sebastian said, "No offense, but I haven't gotten laid in two weeks, and I'm horny as fuck. Can we please save the warm and fuzzy bullshit for after we've both gotten off?" He noticed that instead of looking him in the eye, Sebastian had directed his gaze a little behind him.

Kurt stiffened, though a small part rejoiced at the confirmation that Sebastian hadn't been with anyone else since leaving Lima. But still, not since before the afternoon he'd propositioned Kurt in his car, had Kurt heard Sebastian's voice so cynical when it was directed towards him. He pushed Sebastian off, disturbed. "Why are you being like this?" he said, trying to understand.

"Like what?" asked Sebastian. "This is what we do. We get together, then we fuck each other's brains out. End of story." He stared at Kurt, his eyes a tad chillier even than his voice.

Kurt felt his heart sink. "Sebastian," he said, a little shakily. "You know that's not completely true. At least, not anymore." He looked pleadingly up at Sebastian, hoping that this was some kind of misunderstanding. "I care about you, you have to know that. I missed you so much the past two weeks, was worried about you the whole time. You said you missed being with me too, remember?"

For a brief moment, Kurt saw the Sebastian he'd come to know again. His heart thudded in his chest as Sebastian's face grew soft and wistful, the cold aggression melting away. But it was short lived, and as the frigid stranger returned, Kurt finally got it. Sebastian was intentionally pushing him away. Maybe because he'd realized Kurt had slipped unknowingly into his heart as well, or maybe just because losing his grandfather so recently made him want to shun any kind of attachment. Whatever the reason, it twisted Kurt's heart to know that Sebastian was trying to purposely turn away from any of his attempts at comfort or solace. Especially when he could clearly sense that the other boy needed it so badly.

"Yes, I missed being with you, Kurt," said Sebastian. "But what I meant was, I missed fucking you. Is there a problem with that? Because I thought that was the arrangement all along." Sebastian's mouth was set mulishly, but his voice was becoming almost shrill, like he was trying to convince both of them with his harsh words.

Kurt knew that in this state, Sebastian would never accept anything from him but base, purely physical contact. But if that was what Sebastian needed, Kurt found himself wanting to give it. And it wasn't as if his body, so conditioned to Sebastian's, didn't want that too. "No," he said quietly, looking at the floor. "There's no problem, Sebastian." He fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt, wondering if he should take it off, or if Sebastian would rather do it.

Sebastian stared at Kurt, regret starting to well up inside him. He'd promised Kurt that their arrangement would be about pleasure and fun, but Kurt looked like he was having anything but. In fact, he rather looked like Sebastian had run over his dog or punched him in the face. God, nothing had gone right for him since his grandfather died. Since the shock of the news had worn off, Sebastian had fluctuated between bouts of deep sadness and irrational anger pretty much around the clock. For someone who was rarely even in that bad of a bad mood, the roller coaster of emotions was mentally exhausting for him. He had trouble eating, slept horribly, and most frightening of all, his desire for sex had dried up completely while he was in France. Sebastian knew being in mourning wasn't exactly an aphrodisiac, but this was _him_ , for Christ's sake. He always wanted sex. Except lately, he didn't, and it bothered him a hell of a lot. Sebastian's entire identity was strongly wrapped up in his sexual needs and prowess, and without them he felt even more adrift and lost. One night, tossing and turning, his brain had suggested the theory that maybe it wasn't just the loss of his grandfather that had put him off of sex. Maybe it part of it was because Kurt wasn't there for him to have it with. He certainly had no desire to sneak out and hook up with anyone, but surely that didn't mean anything. It couldn't.

When Sebastian didn't reach for him, or say anything, Kurt looked up. Sebastian didn't appear horny or turned on at all; he looked miserable, confused, and completely worn out. Even though he knew Sebastian would reject the offer, he tried once more to reach out to him with sympathy and comfort. "Please talk to me," Kurt said, putting a soft hand on Sebastian's shoulder. "I want to help."

The empathy and care in Kurt's expression sent a wave of unexplainable rage through Sebastian. He knocked Kurt's hand off his shoulder. "I told you, I'm not interested in talking," he said harshly. "Stop acting like you're my fucking boyfriend or something. I don't do the boyfriend thing, and you knew that going in. So quit looking like a kicked puppy, because all I want from you today is all I've ever wanted from you. To fuck you, plain and simple." It sounded good. Convincing, even. The only problem was, it was totally untrue. Even though he had Kurt in front of him, ready and willing, Sebastian didn't feel the slightest twinge of arousal. He wanted to kiss Kurt, to lie in bed together and feel the warmth of his skin and the quiet thump of his heartbeat. But the thought of sucking Kurt's cock, or working his sweet, tight hole open didn't get his motor running at all, and the realization scared the shit out of him. What was wrong with him? Sebastian put his face in his hands. _There's nothing wrong with you_ , he told himself. _You're just jet-lagged. Once you get started, it'll be like always._ He inhaled sharply, took his hands away from his face, and grabbed Kurt by the shoulders roughly. Sebastian crushed their mouths together, licking and biting as he backed Kurt forcefully in the direction of the bed.

Sebastian's aggressiveness was familiar, yet somehow completely disparate from their previous encounters. Usually Sebastian's hunger was that of a well-fed person, who just happened to be settling in for a particularly fine meal. But this morning, he was like someone who'd been fed nothing but bread and water for years, and finally given a more substantial repast. There was an unhappy, almost pitiful desperation in the way Sebastian was just a little too rough, and how his hands were jerky instead of sure. Kurt was fairly sure that this wasn't a good idea, and suspected that sex would probably not wind up making either of them feel better. But he didn't know what else to do to connect with Sebastian, to let me know that he was there with him. So Kurt let the other boy awkwardly push him onto his bed, his body responding helplessly even as his heart ached. He thrust against Sebastian's thigh, hardening effortlessly, and reached down to curl his fingers around the expected erection encased in Sebastian's jeans. But when he made contact with the denim, Kurt froze. There was no hardness at all to be found, just the soft give of completely a flaccid cock.

Sebastian grabbed at Kurt's still hand, sensing that the other boy wanted to remove it. "No, don't stop," he gasped. "Keep going. I just need a minute." He began to frantically gnaw at Kurt's neck, until he felt a sharp tug at the back of his hair and pulled off.

"Stop it," said Kurt, sounding concerned, but also very serious. "You don't want this."

"Of course I do," said Sebastian, trying to sound like the very idea of him not wanting sex was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. But instead it came out reedy and thin, and even Sebastian didn't believe it.

"No," said Kurt firmly, taking his hand away from the crotch of Sebastian's jeans. "You say you do…you might even think you do. But your body is telling me the truth." He tried to pull away, but Sebastian clutched at him tightly.

"Don't go," he said, eyes wide and panicked. "I do want it. I want to be with you, Kurt."

As if in slow motion, the pieces slowly fell into place for Kurt. Everything Sebastian had said and done since arriving at his house finally made perfect sense. "Sebastian," he said, voice raspy with emotion. "We don't have to have sex for me to want to lay down with you, to hold you in my arms. You know that, right? It doesn't have to be something we do just to get to the act, or while recovering from it." Sebastian's eyes were starting to dampen, his mouth trembling ever so slightly, so Kurt continued trying to break through to him. "It can be that you just need to be held, because it will make you feel better. And that I want to hold you, because it will make me feel better too." He remembered something Sebastian had said to him once, something that seemed perfectly apt. "You just have to let me in."

A painful, burning mass had settled into Sebastian's chest from the moment he felt Kurt's hand discover his lack of physical response. It grew bigger and more agonizing as Kurt began to speak soothingly, until Sebastian was sure it would explode, gutting him out and leaving him bleeding to death on Kurt's white sheets. It finally swelled to an intolerable level at Kurt's final words about being let in, and he opened his mouth to try and release some of the searing pressure inside of him. What came out was a dry, barking sob, and it destroyed the dam on his emotional state. Sebastian started to cry, loud and messy, in a way he had never done before. He felt Kurt's arms curl around him and burrowed deeper into the embrace, as if he could climb inside of the other boy, where it was sure to be warm and safe.

As much as it killed Kurt to bear witness to Sebastian's breakdown, there was relief as well. He knew better than anyone the psychological benefits of a good emotional purge, and one that happened in the arms of someone who cared about you was the most healing kind of all. He held on tightly, uncaring that his shirt was becoming wet with tears and mucus. From the intensity of Sebastian's weeping, Kurt wondered if this was the first time he had allowed himself to cry openly since his grandfather's passing. Had he tried to be strong for his mother, and not show how equally devastated he was? If he had held all of that pain in, it was no wonder Sebastian was such a mess. "It's okay," Kurt whispered, fighting back the moisture in his own eyes. "I've got you."

Slowly, Sebastian began to feel the clawing ache within him begin to subside a little. He could feel and smell and hear Kurt all around him, and it was like his entire world had contracted into just the two of them on the bed. He felt Kurt start to shift and clung tighter, digging his shaking fingertips into the muscles beneath Kurt's shirt. He tried to talk, but all that came out was a garbled cry of protest.

"Shhh," said Kurt. "I'm just getting us a little more comfortable." He rolled onto his back, freeing his right arm, which had been trapped beneath Sebastian's side and had been starting to fall asleep. He scooted up the bed a little so that his head reached the pillow, managing somehow to do so without losing most of the contact between their bodies. Once situated, Sebastian's head was pillowed on his chest, where Kurt could alternate between stroking his hair and rubbing small circles on his back.

"Don't let go of me," Sebastian whispered. He felt like Kurt was the only thing anchoring him to the real world, keeping his anguish from spinning totally out of control.

"I won't," Kurt assured him. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." His words seemed to cause Sebastian to calm further, his sobs tapering off to hitching breaths, and his trembling subsiding a little. Kurt continued to sooth Sebastian with his touch and voice, until eventually he quieted completely with a final, shuddering exhalation. Within moments of that deep sigh, he felt Sebastian's breathing even out, and realized that he had drifted off to sleep. Kurt, tired from his own lack of sleep the night before and the morning's emotional upheaval, found himself following suit very quickly.

Before he knew it, Kurt was awakened by sound of a garbage truck doing its normal noisy weekly pickup outside of his bedroom window. He turned his head to look at his alarm clock, surprised to see that over two hours had passed. He looked down at Sebastian, whose face was boyish and relaxed in sleep. But when a loud crash of glass sounded from the waste management employees emptying the recycling bin, Sebastian's nose wrinkled, and his eyelids began to flutter. "Mmmf," he snuffled sleepily into Kurt's chest.

"It's okay, sweetheart," said Kurt, the endearment tumbling unbidden from his lips as he rubbed Sebastian's back. "Go back to sleep."

"Kurt?" slurred Sebastian, opening his eyes and squinting. As he woke, everything came back to him in bits and pieces. Showing up at Kurt's house, and proceeding to be a total asshole. Treating Kurt like some sort of cheap, random pickup, and then blubbering all over him like a baby. _Fantastic,_ Sebastian thought to himself, reddening. He felt more aware of himself than he had in days, as if the short catnap in Kurt's arms had been infinitely more restful than any sleep he'd had in Paris. He dared a look up at Kurt, expecting him to be disgusted or irritated by his outburst, or maybe both. Instead, Kurt's blue eyes were as warm as gas flames, and his lush mouth broke into a gentle smile as their gazes met. "I'm sorry," Sebastian blurted out.

"What for?" asked Kurt.

"Take your pick," said Sebastian. "There's plenty to choose from."

"You don't have to apologize," said Kurt. "I know it's been a rough couple of weeks for you."

Sebastian nearly argued with him, but knew it wouldn't do any good. Besides, what better way to show his remorse, than to open up a little like Kurt had originally wanted him to? "It has been," he admitted. "I've never lost anyone like that before, just woke up one day and found out that someone I loved was gone forever. It's horrible."

"It is," agreed Kurt.

Sebastian frowned. Kurt didn't sound like the many people who had shared similar sentiments at his grandfather's funeral. He sounded completely matter-of-fact, like he knew exactly what Sebastian was talking about. "Have you lost someone like that?" he asked.

"I have," said Kurt. "My mother died when I was six."

Sebastian bolted up off of Kurt's chest to a sitting position. "What?" he asked, incredulously. How did he not know that?

"She had cervical cancer," said Kurt. "She was actually sick for a while, but I was so young, I didn't really understand. So even though it wasn't sudden, like with your grandfather, it seemed that way to me as a child. One day she was there, and the next, she wasn't. Not ever again."

Sebastian realized that no matter how much time he and Kurt had spent talking about sex, music, celebrity crushes, or workplace gossip, he really didn't know that much about Kurt, especially not his past. He was disappointed in himself for not making any effort to find out, while at the same time consumed with curiosity about what other important things he might not know about Kurt. Sure, their relationship didn't have any strings attached; but they were friends, and friends should know that sort of thing about each other. "I can't believe you put up with me going on like that over Grand-p _è_ re," Sebastian said. "You must think I'm pathetic."

"Why would I think that?" asked Kurt, puzzled.

"He was my grandfather," said Sebastian, with a slight hitch of emotion. "And a really fucking great one, at that. But Kurt, you lost your _mom_. A grandparent dying is nothing compared to that." Just the thought of something happening to his mother or father filled him with cold dread. How did someone even live through something like that?

Kurt shook his head, astounded by Sebastian's logic. He'd come a long way since having to be around a lot of different type of people at The Bean, but Sebastian was still obviously clueless about some kinds of basic human interaction. "It's not a competition, Sebastian," Kurt explained. "My pain isn't worse than yours, just because it was my mother instead of a more distant relative. Any more than mine has less worth than yours, since she died a long time ago, and your grandfather just passed. Hurt is hurt, and everyone feels things, and deals with the bad things that happen to them in different ways."

How did Kurt do that? How did he know just the right thing to say, and exactly the right way to say it? How could be so patient, so kind and forgiving? Sebastian couldn't put a name to the emotion he was feeling, but it made him feel in that moment like he could stay in this room with Kurt forever, and never need another thing. He wanted to tell Kurt how he felt, but he didn't have the words to express it adequately. He tried, though. "Kurt, I just want you to know that…I don't think I've ever…" he trailed off, frustrated. He was capable of a soliloquy when it came to telling Kurt how he made his body feel. But when it came time to talk about how Kurt made him feel in his heart and head, it was like he had the vocabulary of a slightly backwards toddler. But Kurt was smiling at him, so beautiful and encouraging, and Sebastian knew he needed to say something, even if it was unutterably stupid. "You are such a special person, Kurt," he said, taking Kurt's hand and lacing their fingers together. "I can't believe I almost missed the chance to know that about you. My life is so much better with you in it, than it was without you." Sebastian cursed internally, knowing how lame and feeble his words were, compared to the feeling he was trying to convey.

Kurt willed himself not to cry, and not to jump into the conversation with a million words about how he felt the same way too. Sebastian seemed much better after his breakdown and nap, but he was still so emotionally vulnerable, and Kurt didn't want to take advantage of that. He raised their linked hands, pressing a kiss to the back of Sebastian's. "You know what, Sebastian?" he said, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. "You're not so bad yourself. I'm glad you're part of my life, too." Unable to help himself, he lifted his face, sighing happily when Sebastian swooped in and captured his lips in a sweet, tender kiss.

That one kiss led to another, and then more. Sebastian shifted back down to lay on the mattress next to Kurt, keeping the kisses gentle, with only the barest brush of tongue from time to time. Normally, their intent when making out was primarily to build arousal, but this time there was no hurry, no urgency to move things along to the next step. Their hands caressed each other's bodies, but in a way that was more about connecting than inflaming. As experienced as he was, it was a first for Sebastian, and there was no one other than Kurt that he would rather have it with.

Eventually, though, after nearly an hour of nothing but kissing and holding each other, their long denied bodies began to urge them in another direction. Sebastian felt the tightening swell of his cock first, his burgeoning erection accompanied by a wave of relief that he wasn't suffering from any kind of long-term erectile dysfunction. It felt better than usual after so long, the feel of skin stretching out as he hardened completely, the increased sensitivity as his dick rubbed against his underwear. Sebastian pushed his hips forward, letting Kurt feel the firm ridge. When Kurt looked up at him questioningly, he smiled. "Looks like I've still got my mojo," he said teasingly.

Kurt smiled back, grateful to see how relaxed and at peace Sebastian was. He was an entirely different boy than the tormented soul that had shown up at his door this morning, and although Kurt knew there would still be ups and downs as Sebastian worked through his grief, he hoped that at least the worst of it was over. "I never doubted it for a minute," Kurt said. He brought their lips together again, reaching down to trace his fingers over the button and zipper of Sebastian's worn jeans. He kept his touch gentle and undemanding, letting Sebastian be the one to make the call about where the rest of the morning would lead. Kurt needed to make sure Sebastian knew that he'd lay with him chastely until he had to go to work, if that's what he wanted. But when Sebastian began to thrust against his hand, letting out a hiss of pleasure, Kurt knew he wanted more than that. And Kurt was just the boy to give it to him. He squeezed Sebastian's erection firmly through his pants.

With a soft groan, Sebastian's eyes popped open. "Yeah," he breathed. "Touch me, Kurt." Despite the fact that he was definitely interested in sex now, Sebastian found himself feeling somewhat passive. He had let Kurt take care of him emotionally, and now he wanted to continue on that path, letting Kurt tend to him sexually as well.

Kurt picked up immediately on the submissive vibe that Sebastian was giving off, especially since it was so unusual. Even when Kurt took on the penetrative position, Sebastian generally took charge in bed. When Kurt commented on it once, Sebastian had laughed and called himself a "shameless power bottom". Whatever the term was for it, Kurt enjoyed it very much. But he was more than willing to take a turn at the wheel, now that he felt comfortable with his level of skill and experience in the bedroom. Kurt pulled open the button of Sebastian's jeans and lowered the zipper, slipping his fingers inside the fly to gently stroke the cotton clad cock. "Can I take care of this for you?" he asked, looking at Sebastian through his lashes.

Sebastian nodded. It sounded like a fabulous idea to him.

"With my mouth?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian nodded again, this time a bit more enthusiastically. The warm, wet heat of Kurt's mouth was just what his cock wanted, and it pulsed eagerly against Kurt's fingers.

"I'd love to," said Kurt. "But can we maybe take our clothes off first? I haven't seen all of you in so long, and I've missed that."

Sebastian nodded a third time, and they began to unhurriedly remove each other's clothes, tugging the garments off until they were both completely naked. They took a few moments to run their hands lazily over each other's skin, and to embrace and kiss with every inch of their bare flesh in blissful contact. Soon though, Kurt pushed lightly at Sebastian's shoulders, and the other boy rolled onto his back obediently. Kurt made his way down towards his ultimate goal via the dark freckles scattered across Sebastian's skin, pressing tiny butterfly kisses to each one, then tracing a path with just the tip of his tongue to the next one. Kurt ended with his favorite one, on the inside of Sebastian's left hip, and journeyed to where his erection lay hard and thick on his stomach. They both let out a moan at the first swipe of Kurt's tongue along the length, each enjoying the individual sensations they were experiencing. Kurt kept licking softly, traveling up to the tip and sucking it inside. He tongued over the spongy head, dipping into the slit and making Sebastian groan loudly.

Sebastian lay almost unmoving on the sheets, his limbs relaxed and the only tension in his body concentrated entirely in his cock and balls. He felt like he was floating in a haze of pleasure, giving himself over to Kurt without a thought of directing him on where to lick next, or how intently to suck. Everything Kurt was doing felt like heaven, and he found a euphoria in total surrender that he would have never expected. "Ohhhh," he moaned. "So good…so perfect. Love it so much, Kurt."

Joy spread through Kurt at the rapturous, dizzied tone in Sebastian's voice. He brought his hand into play, grasping the shaft finally and holding it upright, tall and proud. Kurt laved down to the base, where he then buried his face in the spot right between the bottom of Sebastian's cock and the top of his balls, rubbing his tongue in firm circles rapidly. Sebastian's pelvis jerked beneath him, letting out a small cry of pleasure. He returned to the crown again, kissing his way up the hard column, and finally began to work the length of Sebastian's cock into his mouth. He took note of the whimpers and moans that came from above him and continued on, keeping a steady, almost lazy suction to make things last as long as possible. He kept Sebastian stretched out on the edge of completion for long minutes, tasting the leaking pre-come on his tongue.

Cocooned in pleasure, it took Sebastian longer than he could ever remember to start to feel the signs of impending orgasm. Usually it came on him in a rush, but this time it was more like a slow burn, working its way from his groin to his belly, and outwards until his entire body was hot and tingling. As out of it as he was, he still had the presence of mind to instinctively warn Kurt that his climax was imminent. "Kurt," he gasped, barely able to form words. "Soon…so soon." He waited for the usual sensation of cool air on his cock as Kurt pulled away to finish him off with his hand, but it didn't come. Confused and hazy, he looked down where Kurt's dark head continued to bob up and down, his mouth unceasingly warm and suctioning.

Kurt heard Sebastian's warning, but found himself unwilling to separate himself from Sebastian. He'd let him come in his mouth the last time they did this, and it wasn't so bad. He could always spit into some tissues after. Kurt didn't want anything to interrupt connection they had at that moment, so he continued to suck until he heard Sebastian give a strangled shout above him. He blocked the opening of his throat with the back of his tongue, collecting the warm pulses of come on at the front in a small pool. Kurt kept his mouth on Sebastian the whole time, until he felt the shaft soften and the length recede. He looked upwards to where Sebastian lay panting, his green eyes cloudy with release and a little confusion at the sight of his flaccid dick still encased in Kurt's mouth.

Kurt slowly pulled off of Sebastian, keeping his lips closed as tightly as possible so no semen would leak out. Still craving contact with his lover, he rested his head on Sebastian' thigh. He knew he should go get some Kleenex, or maybe run to the bathroom, but he was reluctant to leave the bed. Kurt fluttered his tongue in his mouth, concentrating on the taste and consistency of Sebastian's come. It still didn't taste or feel good to him, but it wasn't grossing him out like it normally would. It was part of Sebastian, something that came from him, and Kurt found the idea of rejecting anything about Sebastian this morning even more unappealing than his salty load. There were things he wanted to say to Sebastian, but it wasn't the time or place for such confessions. So Kurt needed to use his body to try and get the message across; that Kurt was there for him, unconditionally, and that he had come to realize that there were no longer any parts of Sebastian that he found unacceptable, or completely off limits. Keeping eye contact with Sebastian the whole time, Kurt swallowed his come, trying not to grimace at the gooey feel of it sliding down his throat. It would definitely never be his favorite thing, and he couldn't see himself even doing it every time he blew Sebastian; but this day, this moment, it seemed like the right thing to do for both of them. He smiled up at Sebastian, whose hazy gaze was clearing as the realization of what Kurt had done sank in.

Sebastian was sure he must have missed Kurt spitting out his come onto the sheets or over the side of the bed. It obviously wasn't in his mouth anymore, since Kurt's lips were slightly parted now as he pressed soft kisses into Sebastian's thigh beneath his head. But as he became more coherent, he realized that he'd never lost sight of Kurt's face for a moment after coming. "Did you…" he said, astonishment creeping into his voice, "Did you just _swallow_?"

Kurt pressed a final kiss to Sebastian's thigh and began to crawl up his body until their faces were level. He felt the pleasant friction of the drag of his half-filled cock over the contours of Sebastian's body as he did, knowing that his smile was that of a cat who'd just gotten the cream. _Literally_ , he thought. "I did," he confirmed, trying not to giggle at the way Sebastian's eyes widened hugely. Kurt kissed his mouth. "Don't expect it all the time," he said. "But I just felt like doing it today."

"Why?" asked Sebastian. Why would Kurt do something that he had most emphatically insisted was disgusting? That he would never, ever do with anyone? And why, if he was willing to compromise on it, would he do so for _him_? He felt a rush of warmth run through him, as Kurt's blue eyes softened affectionately at the question.

"I just wanted to," he said. He tried to keep things light, nudging Sebastian's shoulder. "You shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, you know."

Wordless in his awe, he cupped the back of Kurt's head and brought him in for a kiss. He kept their foreheads pressed together after, eyes closed against the emotions flowing through him. "Thank you," he whispered. He hoped that Kurt realized he was thanking him for much more than giving swallowing a try. He was so grateful for everything that Kurt had done today. When he had arrived at Kurt's house, his entire being had felt like an open, gaping wound, but now he felt warm and safe. Healed, or at least much further along on his way to being than he could have dreamed would be possible. "Kurt, I-" he started to say, but Kurt cut him off with a soft shush.

"Shhh," said Kurt. He could tell that Sebastian was moved, maybe more than he'd been by another boy in his life. But Kurt didn't want him to say anything that he'd regret later, or want to take back. That would hurt Kurt so much worse than if the words were never spoken. And as much as he'd come to care for Sebastian, as much as it was getting more and more impossible to refute the idea that he was falling in love with him, he had to protect himself from that kind of pain and disappointment. Kurt rubbed his bare cock back and forth where it rested against Sebastian's leg, bringing himself to full hardness quickly. "Can I…" he trailed off, not sure how to phrase it. _Can I fuck you?_ seemed ugly and harsh, compared to all that had happened before. _Can I make love to you?_ was more in line with what was in his heart, but he was so not opening up that particular can of worms. "Can I be with you?" he said. "Inside you?"

Sebastian brought his hand to Kurt's erection and grasped it, stroking up and down gently. "Yes," he said. "Please, Kurt, I want you so badly." Kurt had brought him so much pleasure that morning, and he was so glad it was time to finally return the favor. And in his current state of acquiescence, having Kurt top him was exactly what he wanted and needed.

Kurt reached over to the bedside table, taking out the lube and condoms, setting them on the bed next to them. He kissed Sebastian long and slow, ghosting his fingers down his body until he reached his legs. Rolling off to the side and getting on his knees, Kurt slid his hand in between them. Sebastian responded immediately, opening his legs and drawing his knees up to maximize Kurt's access. Kurt took the lubricant in his free hand, brushing the other over Sebastian's buttocks, delving into the crease of his ass and parting it with his fingers. He spilled a clear, glistening stream of lube onto the puckered hole and his fingers. With sure, now practiced digits, he fingered Sebastian open, stretching him pleasurably and spreading the slick fluid inside him. When he found the tight ring loosened considerably, Kurt checked in. "You feel ready," he said. "Are you? Can I come inside?"

 _You just have to let me inside_ , came the echo of Kurt's words to Sebastian. "Oh God, yes," he said, feeling a swell of emotion that was far beyond the physical. "Come in, Kurt."

Kurt grabbed for the condoms and put one on, adding extra lubrication before bringing his cock to Sebastian's entrance. He started to work himself in slowly, penetrating inch by inch until all of his length was surrounded by delicious heat. As soon as he bottomed out, Kurt leaned forward, propping himself on his elbows and bringing he and Sebastian's torsos into contact. He began to thrust steadily, searching with his mouth for Sebastian's lips and finding them. Kurt poured everything he had been feeling over the past two weeks into what he was doing; how much he had missed him, worried about him. How much he had come to realize the difference Sebastian made in his life, and never wanted to be without it again.

Beneath Kurt, Sebastian moaned, hooking his legs over Kurt's slim, pale hips to get them even closer. He'd never felt anything like this before; a need to be as close to his partner as possible, but not because the angle would be better, or rub against a certain spot in the right way. It was like the feeling he'd had earlier when Kurt was comforting him, the desire to almost crawl inside of him, had gotten all blended in with sex. Sebastian loved how Kurt was making his body feel, but what was coming to the forefront was so much more than that. It was like the act of intercourse wasn't even the point. It was just a vehicle, a way for their bodies to talk to each other in a way their actual voices couldn't. _Is this what making love feels like?_ he wondered. Sebastian has always thought the words were nothing but semantics – having sex, fucking, screwing, making love – it was all the same thing, just different connotations and justifications that people for some reason found necessary. But this, what he and Kurt were sharing right now, with his heart and brain just as engaged as his body…it wasn't the same as anything he'd felt before, either with Kurt or another partner. Sebastian brought his arms around Kurt's sweaty back, pulling him even closer.

Kurt let his elbows collapse, falling completely onto Sebastian. He continued to drive his cock in and out, getting closer and closer to his climax. Kurt tore his lips away from Sebastian's with a cry, bringing his head to the crook of his neck so Sebastian wouldn't see or feel the happy tears beginning to leak from his eyes. He felt them overflow and wet Sebastian's neck, as he bit down where the shoulder met to keep from vocalizing what was in his heart as he finally reached orgasm. _I love this I love you oh fucking God I love you Sebastian._ A muffled scream escaped as he spilled, but at least it could be passed off as nothing by physical release.

Sebastian clenched hard as he felt Kurt climax, burying his fingers in Kurt's silky hair. He bit his lip until it was nearly bleeding, feeling Kurt tremble and wondering why, for the first time in his life, he wondered what it would feel like to say _I love you_ as his partner came down from the aftershocks.

The two boys lay panting on each other, the same way as so many times before, but in a way that was somehow completely different. Kurt eventually pulled out, his damp skin starting to cool from the soft breeze drifting in from his open window. He tied off the condom like Sebastian had shown him and threw it towards his waste basket, landing it neatly. Coming back, he gathered Sebastian close, running a hand through his sandy hair and sighing blissfully.

Once both of their breathing had settled into a normal pattern, Sebastian spoke. "Kurt?"

"Yeah?" answered Kurt.

Sebastian rolled them so that he was on top, his chin resting on Kurt's chest and his eyes unwavering. "I know I said before that I didn't do the boyfriend thing," he said. "And I don't. I mean, I wouldn't even know where to start."

Kurt looked down at him with the same soft, understanding expression that Sebastian had come to know all too well. "I know," said Kurt. "I knew that going in, remember?" He smiled, but it was bittersweet.

"But if I did," said Sebastian, searching for Kurt's hand and finding it, then squeezing it tightly in his own. "If I did do the boyfriend thing, then you know…" Sebastian swallowed, his eyes growing bright with unshed tears, and wishing more than anything that he was a tenth as brave and open as Kurt Hummel.

"I know," said Kurt, closing his eyes. And the hell of it was…he really did.


	9. Epilogue

As Kurt approached the Lima Bean, the door opened and two middle-school aged girls came out, talking and laughing. Kurt recognized them as regular customers, so he smiled and gave a little wave as he passed them. The blond girl on the left (Jamie, Kurt recalled from inking her name on many a paper cup) blushed and waved back, and Kurt heard both girls giggle wildly once they were behind him. Kurt grinned. The girls were very young, and he was very gay, but it was still nice to feel like the cute guy every now and then. And tonight, even he had to admit that he was looking good. Kurt's hair was perfectly styled, and his outfit - bright blue skinny jeans with a tight black boat necked shirt and a multicolored scarf - showed off his trim figure most flatteringly. His confidence was buoyed even further by a certain letter he had received in the mail that day, one that would change his entire life from this moment forward.

Kurt heard music and a familiar voice singing as he got closer, walking in the door to find Rachel Berry belting out _Memory_ from Cats her usual dramatic style, her brown eyes glittering with moisture. He smirked a little at her obvious choice, but it was good natured. Although Kurt had spent very little time with his former classmates this summer, he had agreed to meet up with them for one last get together before many of them would go their separate ways. They had decided on the Lima Bean's karaoke night, held the second Thurdsay of each month, and Kurt had agreeably asked for the evening off. He caught sight of Tina waving at him and lifted his hand in response, tilting his head towards the counter to indicate that he would be getting a drink before joining them. Upon his arrival at the counter, he came upon Santana, who was saying something to a rather annoyed looking Sebastian behind the counter.

"I need another mocha," Kurt heard her say. "And this time, try not to make it taste like ass. I know that's ambrosia to you, but I'd rather not get to experience what the inside of your mouth tastes like on a daily basis."

"You got it," said Sebastian tightly. He scrawled on a cup and passed it over to Angela.

Santana flung her debit card on the counter, where it slid across and fell on the floor. "Oops," she said, unsmiling.

Sebastian glared at Santana, but said nothing. He picked up her card, swiped it and handed it back. Instead of moving down to the drink pickup area, Santana lingered. "Is there something else you need?" asked Sebastian, as politely as he could manage. Kurt could tell he was dying to shoot back something insulting to her, but there was no way he could do so while on the clock.

"Just wanted to tell you how much good it does my heart, to see you having to wait on people in that sad little uniform," Santana said. "What happened? Did Daddy make some bad investments? Or are you saving up for a much needed round of AZT?"

"Knock it off, Santana," said Kurt. She whipped around, obviously startled and unaware that he had been standing behind her for some time. "Hi Sebastian," he said brightly. "Can I get a medium cappuccino?"

The annoyed expression faded from Sebastian's face, and was replaced by a warm smile. "With your usual dash of cinnamon?" he asked Kurt.

"Of course, said Kurt, smiling back.

"Oh my God," said Santana, ignoring the call from Angela that her drink was ready to go. "Don't tell me you guys are friends now. I know you have to work together, but really, Kurt? It wasn't too long ago you'd be joining me, putting Bucky Beaver Teeth over here in his place."

"We are, actually," said Kurt. He saw Sebastian's eyes brighten a little, and continued. "Good friends." He paused, rolling his eyes as Santana made gagging noises. "But even if we weren't, it wouldn't matter. I'm not going to let anyone I know talk to the people I work with that way, no matter who it is.

"My, my," said Santana. "Someone finally found their testosterone. I never thought I'd see the day. Where was it, under your doily collection?"

"Hey!" said Sebastian, frowning. "Don't talk to him like that."

"Or what?" Santana said, challengingly.

"Stop it," said Kurt, taking Santana's arm and pulling her away from the counter. "Go get your mocha and sit back down with Brittany."

"And I say again," Santana drawled, narrowing her eyes at Kurt. "Or what?"

"Or I'm leaving," Kurt said. "But not before I make sure that all our friends know that I left before even saying hello because you were being a bitch. And not before I tell my boss on the way out that he should kick you out for being verbally abusive to his employees." Kurt folded his arms and gave a slight toss of his head, sniffing.

Santana looked at Kurt for a long minute. "Fine," she said finally. "Whatevs. My drink is getting cold." She brushed past Kurt and made her way down to the other end of the counter.

Kurt went back to the counter. "So," he said. "About that cappuccino..."

"Coming right up, sir," Sebastian said playfully, his mood improving greatly the moment he and Kurt were alone. Well, as alone as one could be in a crowded coffee house, at any rate. He wrote Kurt's order and name on a cup and passed it over to Angela. Drinks were only free to Lima Bean employees while working a shift, So Kurt dug out his debit card and handed it to Sebastian. Looking around quickly to make sure the coast was clear, Sebastian took the hand holding out the card, tangling their fingers together around it. Taking note of the surge in his pants and chest, he smiled softly. "Anything else I can get for you?" he asked, pitching his voice low and a little rough.

Kurt closed his eyes briefly at the tingling warmth that raced from his hand to the rest of his body. Although they had talked on the phone daily and worked together twice in the interim, the two boys had yet to find another opportunity to be intimate together privately since Sebastian's first day back a week ago. The closest they'd gotten was a brief, fumbling makeout session in the storage room a couple of days ago, which had been interrupted by Greg coming in to find out why it was taking so long for Kurt to return with a another bag of espresso roast beans. Kurt and Sebastian had managed not to get caught in the act of kissing itself, but it was likely that their flushed cheeks and rapid breathing had given them away to their boss. In all honesty, neither boy really cared about keeping their relationship a secret anymore; it was more a matter of not being able to define what it was that they had together, and not particularly wanting to deal with the judgment that they'd face from their families, friends and co-workers if they brought things out into the open. So they tried to play things as close to the vest as they could, and steal moments to touch each other discreetly as often as possible. "As a matter of fact," said Kurt, finally answering Sebastian's question, "There is. You wouldn't happen to have three hours of complete privacy on the menu, would you?" He gave Sebastian's hand a squeeze, his own voice low and breathy.

Sebastian smiled broadly. "Unfortunately, we're fresh out right now," he said. "But I hear we might be getting some in on Sunday." Sebastian's mom had mentioned that she had finally talked her mother into going out that weekend, to do a little shopping in Columbus. Stephen Smythe had responded that he had plans to go into the office and catch up on some work anyway, so he would drop them off at the mall and return a few hours later to pick them up when he was done. This would leave Sebastian's house empty for hours, and he hoped that at least one or two of them would coincide with some of Kurt's free time. Since their last time together, Sebastian had craved the closeness of Kurt's body on a near constant basis. He'd always been horny for Kurt after a few days apart, but this was different. He found himself dreaming of whispering endearments into Kurt's ear, their bodies warm and entangled under the covers of a soft bed. Sebastian had been waking up in the mornings to find his second pillow held in his arms, his frame almost spooned around it. It was kind of pathetic, but since he was really the only one who knew about it, Sebastian didn't let it bother him much.

"Really?" asked Kurt. "That's...that's really good news. I'll be here Sunday morning, but as it happens, I have the whole afternoon off."

"Medium skinny cap with cinnamon for Kurt," called out Angela.

Both boys started a little, then laughed. Sebastian released Kurt's hand and swiped his card. As soon as it was handed back, Kurt stashed it away in his wallet. "I'll talk to you before I leave," Kurt promised. Unable to resist one last contact, he took Sebastian's hand and squeezed it. They only stood there for a moment, hands clasped, but it was apparently long enough. The sound of someone clearing their throat rather loudly came from behind Kurt, and he spun around, dropping Sebastian's hand abruptly. His wide eyes widened further when he found himself face to face with none other than Blaine. _Oh shit._

Blaine was still staring at the spot on the counter where Sebastian and Kurt's hands had rested. He looked back up at Kurt, confused. "What's going on?" he asked. "Were you two just holding hands?"

Kurt's mind was blank. He hadn't had any contact with Blaine since their breakup, and he was thrown enough by his ex-boyfriend's sudden appearance right in front of him, let alone having him catch Kurt and Sebastian in an indiscreet moment. "Uhhh..." Kurt said, turning desperately to Sebastian for any kind of help.

Unfortunately, Sebastian was just as at a loss as Kurt was. But seeing the panic in Kurt's eyes, he tried his best to come up with something. "Of course not," he scoffed, hoping it sounded halfway believable. "We were just...shaking hands."

Blaine's thick eyebrows shot up nearly into his neatly gelled hairline. "Why would you be shaking hands?" he asked, not sounding angry or disbelieving, but honestly puzzled.

Sebastian nearly groaned, figuring he'd just backed them into yet another corner. He wished that Kurt would tell Blaine it was really none of his fucking business anymore how or why Sebastian touched him, but then again that would probably lead to even more questions. Sebastian also wished, for about the tenth time that night, that he'd called in sick that evening after Kurt had told him about the New Directions reunion. Having a shop full of people who actively disliked him and didn't mind acting like it wasn't much fun, but the suckiest part was not being able to snark back without risking losing his job. And he definitely didn't want that to happen. He was only a few weeks from paying off his parents, but Sebastian had already talked to Greg about staying on, just with more limited hours once he went back to Dalton for his senior year. After observing the ins and outs of how Greg ran the Lima Bean, Sebastian was seriously thinking about keeping a major in Business in mind when he started scouting colleges in the Fall.

Unbeknownst to Sebastian, he had in fact provided the perfect excuse. Kurt did indeed have some good news. Hoping to celebrate with a lot more than just a handshake, Kurt had been meaning to save it until he and Sebastian could be alone together. _Oh well_ , he thought. _Best laid plans, and all that_. Kurt turned back to Blaine and smiled. "Sebastian was just congratulating me," he said.

Sebastian had no idea what the hell Kurt was going on about, but he was smart enough to play along. "And well-deserved congratulations, too," he said, trying to keep things nice and vague.

"Congratulations on what?" asked Blaine. Sebastian shot him an irritated look, and he seemed to remember himself, flushing a little. "If you don't mind me asking, of course."

"Not at all," said Kurt. He moved to the side, so he could talk to Blaine, but have Sebastian in his line of sight as well. "I just got some wonderful news today," he said. "I've been accepted to the Parsons School for Design in New York City. I missed the deadline for the Fall semester, but I can start at the beginning of the Spring one, in January." He grinned hugely, his eyes darting from Blaine to Sebastian and then back again.

Sebastian nearly jumped over the counter to hug Kurt, but managed to fake a milder, friendly interest. He knew that Kurt had applied to Parsons, along with a few other design schools all over the country. Shortly after he and Kurt had begun sleeping together, Sebastian had noticed a stack of fashion sketches on Kurt's desk while collecting his clothes from the bedroom floor one day. When he'd asked about them, Kurt had said that he felt like maybe not getting into NYADA was a sign, some sort of indication from the universe that maybe he was meant to have a career in something other than the performing arts. His skills and talent when it came to fashion were as good if not better than those at performing, and there was the added bonus that maybe design wouldn't be as much of an uphill climb for Kurt as the entertainment industry. His looks and personality would fit easily into a fashion house, whereas on stage he was definitely more likely to be a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Sebastian didn't know a lot about fashion, but the sketches looked amazing to him (he couldn't draw a straight line without a ruler), and there was no doubt Kurt had a unique and creative eye when it came to choosing his own wardrobe. Sebastian was overjoyed to hear that Kurt had gotten into his top choice school, and it was hard to keep the excitement out of his voice. "Like I said, Kurt," he said, "Congratulations. Really, I don't know anyone who deserves it more."

"Thanks," said Kurt, his eyes shining with the promise of a proper celebration later, when they didn't have to watch their words and actions. "I'm really looking forward to it. It's almost like it was meant to be." _Like us_ , Kurt thought. _I thought my future would be Blaine and NYADA, but instead it's you and Parsons. Two things I never even imagined could make me just as happy. Maybe even happier._

Blaine looked somewhat shocked. "You're going to New York after all?" he asked.

"Looks like it," said Kurt. "I'll keep working here up until the holidays at least. I can save up some money, which will be helpful since city living is so expensive. Of course, if I wind up having to get a job, I'm sure there's at least a few coffee houses in the Big Apple that need a barista." He turned and winked quickly at Sebastian, then turned back to Blaine, who still looked floored. Kurt frowned. "What's the matter, Blaine?" he asked. "Are you honestly that surprised that I'm not going to be a Lima Loser after all?"

Blaine started. "No!" he said. "I just...I never thought about you doing anything but performing. That was always the plan."

Kurt shot a sideways look at Sebastian, the warm bubble he now recognized as love rising up into his throat. He swallowed. "Plans change," he said simply, with a small, gentle smile.

"I guess so," said Blaine. He heaved a deep sigh, seeming to come to some kind of internal decision. "Congratulations, Kurt," said Blaine. "I hope this all works out for you. Really, I hope it makes you happy." To both Kurt and Sebastian's surprise, he sounded completely sincere. Was it possible that the breakup had been just as good for Blaine as it had been for Kurt, allowing him to grow and mature in a way he wouldn't have if Kurt hadn't had the strength to end things? The way he held out his own hand for Kurt to shake, it looked like it.

Kurt shook Blaine's hand, a warm curl of nostalgia running through him. This was the boy he had fallen in love with so long ago, positive and unthreatened by Kurt's successes. Because now, they didn't have the power to hurt Blaine, or leave him behind. Kurt didn't have romantic feelings for Blaine anymore, and true, there was still the lingering sting of betrayal underneath it all somewhere. But perhaps in the future, he and Blaine could be friends. Maybe even better friends than they'd ever been boyfriends. Kurt brought his other hand up, clasping Blaine's hand between both of his own. A song lyric popped into his head, and he let himself sing it, quietly.

_I hope you're happy_

_Now that you're choosing this_

Blaine smiled and brought his other hand up too. He sang the response lyric back.

_You too_

_I hope it brings you bliss_

Their voices came together in harmony, though because of a competing karaoke song, the two of them and Sebastian were the only ones who could hear it.

_I really hope you get it_

_And you won't live to regret it…_

_I hope you're happy in the end_

_I hope you're happy_

_My… friend_

Kurt and Blaine continued to smile at each other, just a hint of tears sheening both of their eyes. Finally, Kurt gave Blaine's hands a final squeeze, and released them, backing up a few steps towards the counter. Blaine nodded at Kurt, then gave Sebastian a long, apprising look. Seemingly satisfied, he shrugged. "See you up there," he said, gesturing to the grouping of current and former New Directions members sitting on the couches and chairs around the karaoke machine. Then he walked away, grabbing Sam when he got there and pointing to the song book. Kurt shook his head a little, and turned around to look at Sebastian. At this point his cappuccino had probably cooled off a lot, and he was just about to ask Sebastian to zap it in the microphonerowave for him when he stopped. Sebastian was looking at him with an inscrutable expression, his lips pressed together in a tight line. "Is everything okay?" Kurt asked. "I'm sorry I didn't mention Parsons to you; I just wanted to wait until we had more privacy. I would have told you on Sunday if that hadn't just happened."

Sebastian wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling. It wasn't anything he'd ever felt before, and it had started right around the time Kurt had brought both of his hands to cup Blaine's, gazing into the other boy's eyes as they sang to each other. It was like anger and hurt and worry all rolled into one, and he didn't know why he would feel any of those things. The moment between Kurt and Blaine had obviously been one of closure, so why was he so bothered by it? Why did he feel like leaping over the counter and ripping their hands apart? Like Kurt's voice in harmony with Blaine's was so wrong, when it belonged lifted in song only beside his own? Suddenly it hit him. _I'm jealous_ , he realized. _This is what jealousy feels like, I guess. I know Kurt doesn't want to be with Blaine, but I still don't want Blaine and him touching each other like that. Or singing to each other. It's totally irrational, but I just don't like it, not one bit._ He looked at Kurt, only able to think in that moment about how much he wished he could hold hands publicly with him tonight, to take a turn at the karaoke machine and show Blaine Anderson what a true serenade really was. Sebastian forced a smile, not wanting Kurt to think he was mad at him. "It's fine," he said. "I'm just a little stressed, I think, from someone almost catching us again." He glanced up at the karaoke machine. "Speaking of which, you should probably get out there. It's going to look suspicious if you agreed to meet up with everyone, but spend the whole night back here at the counter with me."

Kurt followed his gaze and gave a little sigh. "I suppose you're right," he said. "I'll be back after the crowd thins out a bit, so we can talk about details for Sunday. Okay?"

"Absolutely," said Sebastian. "Go on, pick out something fun to sing." _Just no more duets. I don't think I can handle another one of those tonight, not if you're part of it and I'm not._

Kurt went to the front of the room, looking back at Sebastian a couple of times along the way. As soon as he sat down next to Tina, Sebastian scrubbed a hand over his face. But soon more customers approached the counter, and he was too busy to do much more than occasionally catch sight of Kurt, and make sure he seemed to be having a good time. Which he did, definitely. He was talking and laughing with everyone, including Santana, and it looked like for the moment everyone was getting along great. Sebastian wondered what it would be like if he and Kurt were openly together. Would he too have taken the night off, so he could sit next to Kurt, holding his hand? Or give him a soft kiss when he returned from his turn at the karaoke machine? Would Kurt's friends put up with his presence, if they knew how Sebastian felt about him? _And while we're on the subject, how exactly_ _ **do**_ _you feel about Kurt?_

Since last week, Sebastian had asked himself the same question what seemed like a thousand times. He had never been the type of person who needed to indulge in self-analysis. His wants and needs were usually unmistakable; eat, sleep, fuck, win...all simple and clear cut. But his feelings for Kurt were different, so complex and murky when compared to what he'd experienced before. There were many different facets to Kurt, so it probably made sense that Sebastian would feel an assortment of different emotions when it came to him. But most overwhelming was a deep affection and need for proximity unlike anything he'd even known before.

Sebastian's musings were interrupted by a series of loud hoots and whistles, and he looked up to see that Santana had taken the stage. As much as he disliked her, he had to give a bit of grudging respect. If there was anyone in New Directions he had the most in common with, it was Santana. Both confident, sarcastic, and good looking, unashamed of their sexuality and each possessing one hell of a set of pipes. If it wasn't for the polarity in their ethnicity, they could practically be considered two peas in a pod. But as Santana started to speak, her entire face and body language softened, and Sebastian discovered they had something else in common as well.

"I'm sending this song out to my girl, Brittany," Santana said. Her blond girlfriend smiled sweetly, with a glow that Sebastian could see from the back of the room. "I am going to miss you so much when I leave. But you're going to have a great senior year, just like I'm going to have a great freshman one. But I'll still think about you every single day, and count the hours until we can be together again. I love you so much, Britt. And if anyone ever wondered why, I think this song says it all."

_Lookin' out on the morning rain_

_I used to feel so uninspired_

_And when I knew I had to face another day_

_Lord it made me feel so tired_

_Before the day I met you_

_Life was so unkind_

_But you're the key to my peace of mind_

What Sebastian also shared with Santana were feelings for another person; that one special someone who could make you so happy and content, when you were with them the urge to be nasty or mean disappeared. When he was with Kurt, it made him want to be a better person, the type that someone as amazing as Kurt would want to spend time with. Santana's song was a visual and aural representation of how he felt inside every time he was with Kurt, whether they were naked and sweaty in bed, or just sharing a muffin over their ten minute break in The Bean. Santana said she loved Brittany, so did that mean that he loved Kurt? It was hard for him to tell, since he had never loved anyone romantically before. He tried the thought out in his head, to see how it felt. _I think I'm in love with Kurt_. A warm, shimmery wave of emotion passed through him, so he tried again. _I'm in love with Kurt_. The same thing happened, but a little stronger. Sebastian took a deep breath. _I love Kurt_ , he thought, and the wave became a pulse that made his knees a little weak. He gripped the counter tightly, looking at where Kurt sat listening to Santana finish her song, the dim light of the coffee house throwing shadows and highlights onto the sharper planes of his face. Sebastian had never seen anything more beautiful, nor anything he had ever wanted more in his entire eighteen years of life, and in that moment he knew the truth. "I love Kurt Hummel," he said quietly to himself, and it felt so good to say out loud, he did it again. "I love him."

"About time one of you realized it," came a deadpan female voice behind him. Sebastian whipped around, only to see Angela standing there, her eyes sparkling with mirth that Sebastian had never seen in all the shifts he had ever worked with her.

"What?" Sebastian said. He felt his palms start to sweat, and started trying to think of how to cover his admission up with something believable.

"Oh please," Angela said. "I can practically see the wheels turning in your head. Don't bother. It's not like everyone here doesn't already know that you and Kurt are crazy in love with each other."

"You do?" asked Sebastian. How could they, when Sebastian had just figured it out himself? And when he certainly wasn't at all sure if Kurt returned the sentiment? Sebastian was starting to feel like he was having some kind of out of body experience.

"Duh," said Angela. "It's totally obvious." Greg came out of his office, and Angela waved him over wildly. Sebastian stared, having never seen her so animated before.

"What is it?" asked Greg.

"It finally happened," said Angela, nodding at Sebastian.

Greg took one look at Sebastian's dumbstruck face, and grinned. "This one was the first to admit it?" he asked, starting to laugh. "The odds were on Kurt."

"I know," said Angela, with an atypically girlish giggle. "That's where my money was. What's today, the twentieth? We'll have to see who won."

"Won what?" asked Sebastian, feeling more clueless than ever.

"The pool," said Greg. When Sebastian just gaped at him in disbelief, he continued. "We all put one together over a month ago. Who would say it first, when, if it would be to each other, etcetera."

"You guys had a pool to guess when Kurt or I would say 'I love you'?" asked Sebastian. "Are you serious?"

"Totally," said Angela. "Some lucky member of the Lima Bean team is about to win a couple of hundred dollars."

Sebastian was gobsmacked. The eventuality that he would come to love Kurt was so inevitable, his co-workers had put money on it? And they were just as sure that Kurt would fall in love with him too? It was insane. How in the world could he and Kurt be the last ones to know?

Greg patted him on the shoulder. "I think it's about time for your break," he said, still smiling from ear to ear. "Now that you've told us, don't you think there's another one of your co-workers who might want to know?" He turned Sebastian towards the other end of the shop, where Kurt was applauding Santana as she came off the stage. She went over to Brittany and laid a passionate kiss on her, and Sebastian's heart clenched to see the slightly sad, wistful expression that came over Kurt's face as he watched.

"Holy shit," he breathed out. Kurt was disappointed, because he wanted that for himself. With him. It was like Sebastian had had blinders on, and someone had finally ripped them off. Kurt loved him. It was so obvious, he couldn't believe he'd never guessed. God, what an idiot he was. He started to smile, and then laughed out loud. "It is most definitely time for my break," he said, pulling off his apron. He walked past Angela and Greg, who both clapped excitedly as he went by. He snorted with laughter; he really liked the people he worked with, but they were apparently even weirder than he'd thought.

Sebastian went around the edge of the crowd, trying to stay out of Kurt's sight as he made his way to the song book and flipped to the "S" section. Finding exactly the song he was looking for easily, he punched in his selection and hit the pause button on the karaoke machine, before stepping up to the microphone. He tapped it, and the thunking noise got everyone's attention. Kurt, who had been talking to Finn, turned around, and a gorgeous smile lit his face when he saw Sebastian standing there. Artie started to boo, but stopped when Kurt applied a stinging slap to his shoulder. Kurt sent a warning glare around to the rest of the group, and his eyes promising the same to anyone else who made an attempt to heckle Sebastian.

"Hi," Sebastian said into the the microphone. He spotted Greg and Angela making cheering gestures from behind the counter, and just managed to avoid rolling his eyes. "I'm Sebastian Smythe. A lot of you know me as the guy who makes your coffee. Some of you know me as one of the Warblers, and others, as a giant pain-in-the-ass troublemaker." He paused while a ripple of surprised laughter erupted from several of Kurt's friends. "But tonight, I want to sing a song to someone who knows me a little differently. Who knows me in a way that no one else ever has, and maybe in a way that no one else ever will." Sebastian could see some of the New Directions checking to see where he was looking, a few of them automatically skipping over to Blaine before realizing his eyes were on the opposite side of their group. He saw more than one mouth drop open when they realized he was looking directly at a frozen, red-faced Kurt. Sebastian smiled. "This is for you, Kurt." He turned to press the pause button again on the karaoke machine, and a simple piano line began to play. Raising an eyebrow at Kurt, who was still standing as if rooted to the floor, he began to sing.

_I'm not the kind of boy you bring to mother_

_I'm not the kind of boy you kiss in public_

_My manners leave a lot to be desired_

_At least I'm not a liar_

_And I'm not about the subtle innuendo_

_More likely to throw rocks up at your window_

_I'll walk on eggshells so you won't hear_

_The crazy words I'm saying when you get near me_

_I'd rather disappear than be faking it_

_Anyway_

Kurt's legs seemed to fail him. He felt someone grab his arm and guide him backwards to sit on a chair. Was this actually happening? It seemed like it must be a dream. A really, totally awesome one. He hoped he remembered it when he woke up. Kurt listened to Sebastian continue on, a huge shit-eating grin on his face and green eyes that were practically twinkling with delighted teasing as he hit the chorus.

_You like me_

_Yeah I know it_

_You're so transparent_

_How you stumble 'round those words_

_So well_

_You like me_

_There I said it_

_Don't need a dictionary_

_Helping me_

_'Cause I can spell_

Kurt slowly started to come out of his daze, listening to the words. Then he began to laugh, covering his mouth. There couldn't be a more typically Sebastian way express to Kurt how he felt about him, than with lyrics that pointed out that Kurt most obviously felt the same way. It was an adorably perfect song choice.

_My foot was in my mouth the day I met you_

_All my friends, they said I'd never get you_

_But they don't know it when they see it_

_They need glasses to believe it_

_They don't understand_

_So be it_

_What can I say_

_Anyway_

Sebastian sang the chorus again, hoping that Kurt understood that the words were as much about himself as they were about Kurt. He loved Kurt, but it was more than that. He liked him, liked almost every little thing about him, from the way he could make a leaf shape on a latte with foamed milk, to the way all the hollows and angles of his body seemed to fit perfectly against Sebastian's. He took the microphone off the stand, and began walking towards Kurt as he sang the bridge.

_'Cause I can tell_

_By the way you turn me on to your favorite band_

_By the way you pour me coffee when I'm too tired to stand_

_The way you lift me up when I'm fading_

_Breathe me in when I'm suffocating_

_Don't say that it's just because you can_

Finally reaching Kurt, Sebastian knelt down so they could be at eye level. He took Kurt's trembling hand with his free one, and started intently into his aquamarine eyes for the next part.

_And don't be stupid thinking I've misjudged you_

_I know enough to know when someone trusts you_

_Why fight it now_

_It isn't gonna hurt you_

_Anyway..._

Kurt felt joyful tears come to his eyes, and smiled through them. He could see that Sebastian meant every word he was singing. He wasn't going to fight his feelings for Kurt anymore, and Kurt would no longer have to hide his own. He could tell Sebastian that he loved him as he fell to pieces under his skilled hands, or even just to say goodbye at the end of a phone call. He could love Sebastian, and unless he was mistaken, Sebastian was going to love him back. Kurt thought his heart might burst from all he was trying to contain within it; happiness, relief, and of course, overwhelming love. Sebastian got up off his knees, pulling Kurt off the sofa and swinging him around in a wide circle.

_You like me_

_And I know it_

_You're so transparent_

_How you stumble 'round those words_

_So well_

_You like me_

_There I said it_

_Don't need a dictionary_

_Helping me_

_'Cause I can spell_

_You like me_

_Yeah I know it_

_You're so transparent_

_How you stumble 'round those words_

_How you stumble..._

Sebastian, more than ready to use his mouth for something besides singing, dropped the microphone and cupped Kurt's cheeks in his hands. He guided their faces together, not even hearing the applause and catcalls that broke out when he kissed Kurt. Still, in the back of his mind he realized he was in a public place, so he kept it as PG-rated as possible. They parted after a few sweet seconds. Sebastian took Kurt's hands in his own, noting that now they were both shaking a little. "I've changed my mind about something," Sebastian said.

"Really?" said Kurt. "What's that?"

"I've decided maybe I can do the boyfriend thing after all," Sebastian answered. A beatific smile bloomed on Kurt's face. "There's only one problem, though."

"Oh?" asked Kurt, his smile not faltering a whit.

"I'd have to find someone who could put up with me," Sebastian said. "I'm quite a handful, as you know. I don't know if a lot of boys would be up to the challenge."

"Well, you don't need a lot of boys," said Kurt. "I mean, if you're planning on doing this boyfriend thing right, you really only need one."

"This is true," said Sebastian. He pretended to scan the room. "Let's see," he said looking back at Kurt. "One guy, who's not afraid of a challenge. Bonus points if can sing, is incredible in bed, and can sew a Marc Jacobs knockoff shirt in a couple of hours. And he needs to be able to make a great cup of coffee. I'm very particular about that. Sound like anyone you might know?"

"I might have just the guy," said Kurt. "And the best part is, he already loves you."

Sebastian's breath caught in his chest. He was so moved, he couldn't say anything for a thirty seconds. His playful facade fell away. "Is it you?" he asked, so quietly Kurt could barely hear him over the din of conversation voices all around them.

Kurt was surprised to see Sebastian's confidence drop. Was he still unsure that Kurt was on the same page as him? Of course, this was all new for Sebastian, so it made sense that maybe he needed to hear the words as plainly and clearly as possible. "It is," he confirmed. "I love you, Sebastian."

Sebastian's heart soared. "I think you're perfect for the job, then," he said. "Coincidentally, I love you too." And that's when Sebastian realized that there was something that felt even better than Kurt telling him that he loved him. Getting to say it right back to Kurt was, without a doubt, the best.


End file.
